Look, it isn't that there isn't crime happening here in the good old U.S. of A. Of course, we have plenty of stuff going down, every day.

But those Russians, man -- they just come up with the stuff you think can't be real. You read the English tabloid coverage and you think, 'oh, those crazy London papers, they're exaggerating as usual' -- then a trip to the Russian news sites, translation programs and a flip through the English/Russian Dictionary later you realize, no, the English tabs are toning it down.

Case in point -- the unfolding story of Russia's serial-killing Jehovah's Witness "Bonnie & Clyde," 44-year-old Vladimir Gurianov and his "Princess," Elvira Egorycheva, age 46.

He called her "mother" and "Princess Elena," she called him her son and "Prince Mikhail."

And authorities in Nizhny Novgorod believe they may have killed as many as 13 people.

It looks as though Vladimir and Elvira were many things -- homeless, religious zealots, sex criminals, and serial murderers. After they were arrested, they spoke frankly to the authorities. It was clear to police that the pair felt no guilt for their crimes -- they were convinced that they were somehow fulfilling the will of God on Earth. They were allegedly doing this with knives, a stun gun, rope, adhesive tape, at least one handgun and a couple of axes.

Vladimir Gurianov, was (no surprise) a convicted sex criminal. Elvira, on the surface, was a pious mother of 3 who would tell her neighbors (when she had a home) that she had 'a relationship with God.' Elvira would have tea with friends and speak ad nauseam about a God that was very personal to her, and apparently not exactly the approved-of model familiar to monotheists the world over.

She wasn't actually a big Jehovah's Witness anymore, really. According to Strana.ru, Elvira became disenchanted with her local congregation, even writing letters to the editor of a local paper expressing her disappointment.

Elvira's former neighbors were utterly shocked by her arrest. But one spoke of seeing her in April of this year. Something strange was afoot: "The last time we saw Elvira [...] She wore a headband, was dressed all in white; pants, coat and tie."

Nizhny Novgorod's "Bonnie & Clyde" began their murderous spree in December, 2007. The victims were targeted through ads they placed, frequently fortune-telling, but also selling puppies. A fortune teller, 51-year-old Ludmila Kostina, placed an ad for her services in a local paper. The very next day they killed Nina Mashtakova, age 66, and took her valuables.

Many more victims followed. There was Elena Travkina, age 35, a mother of two small children. The body of Natalia Burenkovoy, an accountant, was found brutalized and stuffed in a storage area. Religiously-motivated killer or not, some of the female victims were also sexually assaulted. But even a male cab driver was murdered -- he was found in his vehicle. He'd been stabbed to death.

Police were ultimately led to this pair by the couples' greed -- they tried to pawn valuables owned by one of the victims.

Vladimir Gurianov and Elvira Egorycheva have confessed to 10 murders, and some Russian media have reported that there may be as many as 15 victims. Cops are currently investigating possible burial sites.

"Prince Mikhail" and "Princess Elena" were perverse doppelgangers to the Russian teens in Yaroslavl (read all about that nightmare here) who earlier this summer allegedly burned and consumed 4 other teens in the name of Satan. In both instances the killers claimed religious motivation, but further examination of their acts showed they were really just savages experimenting with their own capacities for evil. Perhaps the "Prince" and "Princess" clothed themselves in white and claimed to hear the voice of God, but in the end they were working from the same playbook as the Yaroslavl "Satanists."

[Daily Mail Online. Russian papers: Strana.ru, Newsru.com, and stolica-s.su.]