Screencap from Miranda Tozier-Robbins's YouTube favorites

Who can possibly resist this story? "Ex-Idol Contestant Arrested at Britney's House!"

Quoting from Star Magazine:

Miranda Tozier-Robbins, a contestant during season five of Idol, was taken into custody by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department on Thursday morning after she was seen by security guards looking in the windows of Britney Spears' new home in Calabasas, Calif.

Tozier-Robbins upped the batshit-crazy ante by wearing camouflage as she tromped around on Britney's flowerbeds and probably more than a few discarded and heavily lipsticked cigarette butts.

Police cited the 26-year-old wannabe for trespassing and disorderly conduct. Surprisingly, there are no California laws against wearing camouflage, though you'd think there would be.

Tozier-Robbins's interest in Brit-Brit is genuine. For her Idol audition she sang the pop star's "hit" (yeah, I meant to use those quotes) "Everytime." Just like that, too, I guess, without a space between the words.

I believe choice of song signals real interest from Tozier-Robbins in the former Mickey Mouse Club cutie because many of Britney's songs might as well be a baby crying into an auto-tuner, i.e. they have no actual melody or memorable chorus. (Then again, it seems like it might be pretty typical of an AI wannabe to think that a song like that is actual 'music.') It takes some real love to inflict that sort of thing on the intimidating likes of Simon Cowell. Of course, even if I was wrong about Tozier-Robbins's reasons for using the song she did, all I'd have to do is look at her YouTube profile to see how much she loves, loves, loves her some Britney. The screen capture above is from that page, and Tozier-Robbins's "favorite" videos. Most of them are Britney Spears's music videos.

Apparently, when Tozier-Robbins isn't hanging out in Britney's backyard dressed in camo, she's blogging, sometimes using the nick "shortynspice" - this is her Blogger profile.

I don't truly know why I felt compelled to share this. It may just be that the whole concept of an American Idol wannabe actively stalking the Britster while clad in camo brought to mind visions of a pop-culture singularity opening up somewhere near LA and just sucking everything through some sort of glittery Einstein Podolsky Rosen Bridge to another place, a happier place where stories like this don't just stop with misdemeanor charges and sullen mugshots in gossip blogs, but go on to include a madcap zeppelin chase involving Britney in her usual household thong and camisole, Sean Preston strapped to her back like a papoose, the Idol reject close behind in a 1/2 size replica of the Hindenburg, wild-eyed and crazy, perhaps clad in a Harry Potter costume, wildly waving her wand and muttering pseudo-latin incantations meant to make the Brit-Brit seize up and have a cramp or at least run out of her special shaker filled with meth-flavored Stoli.

In short, sometimes a guy has a tacky-gasm, and he feels the need to spread the love.

Further love can be spread (get your minds out of the gutter, dammit) by linkage: I preserved a copy of Miranda Tozier Robbins's 'shortynspice' YouTube profile just for kicks. If you visit the actual profile (for as long as she keeps it online), you can watch some videos made by shortynspice herself - she called them "Shorty Shows" and made a quite a few. For some reason she switched off the embedding function on all of them.

Anyone who fears that Ms. Tozier-Robbins may truly be stalking the pop star in question may want to check out this directing project Tozier-Robbins posted on YouTube in 2008. It's pretty disturbing.

Anyway - I'm jacking around a little with this story because it's almost more gossip than it is crime, but stalking really is serious. And I hope the cops who picked Ms. Robbins up at Britney's manse in Calabasas, CA take note of this YouTube profile, especially Ms. Tozier-Robbins's favorite videos. They do seem to demonstrate a peculiar obsession. As if skulking about the hedges in camouflage hadn't done that already.

BELOW: A film project Miranda Tozier-Robbins posted on Yahoo video. It's titled "Deal with the Devil."