Man kills serial pedophile 1
2-year-old killed over spilled milk 2
Teacher stabs student 7 times for farting 3
By Steve Huff in assault, celebrity crime
Monday, Jun. 22 2009 @ 2:28PM

OMG. You haven't heard? You haven't heard that the uber gossip blogger to end all uber gossip blogging maven Perez (Mario Lavandeira) Hilton allegedly had his clock cleaned for being... well, being Perez? Where the hell have you been? Oh, I forgot. Some people have real lives.

Perez Hilton claimed early today that he'd been - and this a direct quote from Hilton's Twitter acccount - "assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards." [Emphasis mine.]

I think all the bullshit drama really began here:

philton1.jpg
Screencap of Perez Hilton's tweet about Fergie

Sometime on the evening of June 20, Perez had an encounter with Fergie of Black Eyed Peas fame. It did not, by Hilton's own account, go well. [Insert that cool Law & Order sound effect here.]

Will.i.am picks up the thread here:

Okay, so are you kids keeping score? Will.i.am stated that he was upset with Hilton for whatever Hilton said during his "moment" with Fergie and he called Hilton out for it. Then, by his own admission, Perez Hilton loudly called Will.i.am a "faggot." Hilton later confirmed this in an interview with the Associated Press.

Then someone unloaded on the blogger. That someone may have actually been Black Eyed Peas tour manager Polo Molina. Molina has been charged with hitting Hilton and will be back in court on August 5.

So, essentially, Perez Hilton was being... Perez Hilton, and a celebrity called him on it. Hilton didn't like that and responded pretty much as you'd expect, if you've ever read his site. He used a gay slur in the process, which I guess he thought was just fine since he's openly, famously gay. Anyway, one of the celebrity's people may have gotten in on the action, and that was where a crime was allegedly committed.

No one came out smelling like a rose, in the end. It seemed a little small of Will.I.am, a musician whose overall public profile is positive, to even bother with talking to a gossip blogger, even one as famous as Perez Hilton. But Hilton's tweeting of the aftermath struck many as just bizarre. And by many, I mean the unfiltered masses on Twitter. Today "Perez Hilton" has been top trending topic on Twitter, alongside subjects of actual import, such as the unfolding events in Iran.

Will.i.am looked a little petty for bothering, Perez Hilton looked like he was in it for the drama, Polo Molina looked at the desk sergeant and said he was turning himself in. No one wins in this conflict. No one.

But you know who really loses here? The children.