Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen
Top 5 Creeps of the Week: Assault by magazine subscription
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 10:01 am
For this week's edition of Creeps of the Week, we searched America's schools, mail routes, and former Cold War adversaries for signs of kneecap-worthy creepiness. As usual, it was easy hunting.
If you see Andrew Mogilyansky, start swinging.
5. Kristin Mastin: You might think that Kristen Mastin's victim, her married former lover, got what he deserved. And you might be right. But did she have to drag innocent mail carriers into it?
After Mastin and a coworker ended a three-month affair, police say, she took the time out of her not-at-all-busy life to blast the mailboxes of her lover, her lover's wife, neighbors -- anyone she could find, really -- with magazines, catalogs, and other heavy mail. As thousands of pieces of unwanted mail piled up in the couple's box, mail carriers' loads literally doubled, making Mastin, 41, the most environmentally unsafe scorned lover in the history of love triangles. She's charged with stalking, contributing to the ruining of a family, and vastly improving the reading habits of an entire Wisconsin neighborhood.
3. James Clay: James Clay just couldn't leave shitty enough alone. A former high school basketball coach in Troy, Ohio, Clay was accused of an entirely unoriginal and particularly despicable crime: sexually assaulting a 15-year-old girl. But instead of doing what a man in his position is supposed to do -- shut his mouth, try to survive prison, and prepare for a life of being looked at creepily by neighbors -- Clay tried to make himself look like a victim, setting fire to his home and adorning his car with a racial slur. Not only did it not work -- he was convicted this week of arson, adding four years to his five-year sentence -- but it didn't make any sense. Sorry, Coach, but being the victim of a hate crime wouldn't have made you any less pervy.
2. Mark Evan Brown: A while back, Mark Evan Brown was chased from his job as a wrestling coach at a Washington high school school, after being investigated for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. But this education, not the NFL, so of course a Christian school -- perhaps taking the whole forgiveness thing a bit far -- decided not only to hire Brown, but to make him the principal.
As you may have guessed, it didn't really work out.
The 38-year-old educator pleaded guilty this week to second-degree kidnapping, the AP reported, after prosecutors accused him of exchanging hundreds of texts with a 14-year-old student and telling her to run away from home. If that's not creeptastic enough, Brown -- who apparently didn't spend much time doing principal-type things -- also set up a special room for the girl on campus, and that police found her at the principal's house, prosecutors say.
If only for costing the girl's parents hundreds of dollars in text messages, Principal Brown is a creep. The rest of it? Well, let's just say that Dads don't forget.
1. Andrew Mogilyansky: Today's "Gee I'd Like To Find This Guy Asleep in a Chainsaw Factory" award has to go to Andrew Mogilyansky. A Philly car exporter, the 39-year-old apparently decided he couldn't properly exploit and assault young American woman and instead traveled to St. Petersberg, Russia, to have sex with girls 13 and 14 years old. If you're not looking around your living room for a fireplace poker, hold fast: The girls, it turns out, were orphans. According to the Philadelphia Daily News, Mogilyansky said sleeping with the underage orphans was "by far the worst thing" he's ever done -- which is good, because had he done anything worse the activity planners in hell might not have known what to do with him.
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