Top 5 Police Blunders of the Week: Vegas! They'll never find us in Vegas!

Faron White would have had a better chance had he stayed in Decatur.

5. Faron White: You have to wonder how good a cop Faron White really was. A good cop, you figure, would pick some things up over the years, about covering your tracks and employing reliable co-conspirators. But White -- a sergeant in Decatur, Alabama -- failed at every stop along the way of his poorly conceived criminal debut.

He started by stealing $60,000 from the department safe -- a convenient target, sure, but not exactly the wisest score, since his victims were pretty well versed in solving crimes and whatnot. Making matters worse, he tried to stage an abduction, ransacking his office to make it look like the thief had also stolen him -- as if his fellow cops couldn't tell a fake ransack from a real one. The mistakes continued from there: He hired a clearly crazy lady to be his wing lady, ignoring page 74 of Commit Felonies for Dummies, where it clearly states that "crazy ladies generally make shitty accomplices." And then he fled to Vegas -- because when a cop, a crazy lady and a big bag of cash, no one would go looking for them in Vegas. Right.

A judge this week sentenced White to 16 months in prison. His fellow officers remain really disappointed in his execution.

4. David Williams: If you're the sort of person who whips out your camera at the site of the slightest police injustice, this one's for you. Because while it might be "totally within your right," you also might "totally get your ass kicked."

That's what happened to Boston's Michael O'Brien, according to a lawsuit he's filed against the Boston PD. After using his phone to record officers David Williams and Diep Nguyen as they handled a minor traffic accident, O'Brien claims that Williams tackled him, choked him and, just for good measure, punched him in the head, causing bleeding in the brain. (Boston PD: Protect, serve, and concuss!). If this is the part of the story where you doubt Williams acted so violently, this is the part where we remind you of the time Williams was kicked off the force for beating a fellow officer nearly to death after mistaking him for a perp.

Unfortunately for O'Brien's head, Williams was later reinstated.

3. Paul Schene

When you're taking out your aggression on a 112-pound teenage girl, there are a couple of things to keep in mind: 1. Ask your partner to please step out of the room. 2. Smile! Remember that camera they installed in the holding cell a while back? Yeah, it's rolling.

These are the lessons learned in the case of Seattle deputy Paul Schene, who was caught on camera pummeling a teenage suspect. At 15 years old, the girl seemed to pose the approximate physical threat of a bagel dog. But the girl was no lightweight criminal: she'd been caught in a stolen car. So after she had the nerve to kick off her shoe, hitting the officer in the shin, Schene went all Falling Down as his partner reluctantly helped cuff her. (Video above).

Schene was fired and faces assault charges, and is still really confused about the whole videotaping thing. Wait -- that thing actually works?

2. Andrew Kelly

Fire up the anti-DUI TV ads, police chiefs of the world. It seems your charges need a refresher.

Yet another cop is accused of driving drunk -- and this time the consequences of the officer's shit-faced-ness were much more severe. New York officer Andrew Kelly has been charged in the killing of a preacher's daughter, 32-year-old Vionique Valnord, after he crashed his Grand Cherokee into her while she tried to hail a cab. And just in case the department's name wasn't sufficiently tarnished, another off-duty cop, who was riding with Kelly after the two worked a Yankees game, fled the scene right after the crash.

Kelly, at least, tried to save the woman after he hit her. It was too late.

Kelly pleaded not guilty to manslaughter charges, and the erratic wheels of his Jeep will take on the slow wheels of bureaucracy at his trial. After refusing a breathalyzer at the scene, Kelly didn't submit blood for a blood test until seven hours after the crash. By that time, there was no booze in his system.

1. Ronald Bone: Confusing his job description with that of a high-ranking priest or really pervy uncle, Ronald Bone is accused of using his job as police chief to score with a 17-year-old boy. Bone, once the chief in Hopedale, Ohio, has been charged with two counts of sexual battery, including an encounter that happened in the city building where he worked. Because while getting a hotel room would have been far more discreet -- not to mention more comfortable -- the rates just aren't that great these days, you know?

Bone had resigned from the job on August 31, although the city claims that had nothing to do with this investigation. The city, it should be noted, is probably lying.