Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen
Top 5 Police Blunders of the Week: Friday-night fights, Featuring Officer Two Fists
Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 10:01 am
Another week, another bumper crop of bungling by the boys in blue.
via philly.com
5. Timothy Strain and the Philadelphia Police Department: Maybe he was making a point, maybe he was making a joke. But Philly officer Thomas Strain, as white as a Golden Girls marathon, probably didn't think pulling his hair into cornrows would get him suspended. After showing up to work with his new 'do, Strain's boss, who's black, asked him to cut his cornrows -- despite several black officers sporting the same style. When Strain refused, he was put on desk duty and eventually cut his hair. Call it a case of two-way bungling: The department certainly could have handled it better, but cornrows on a white guy should really be a fireable offense, shouldn't they?
4. Bryan Womble: Had he just been popped for DUI, you might sympathize with Virginia Beach officer Bryan Womble, who was convicted this week for driving while hammered. It's a hard job, protecting and serving our asses, one that requires the occasional blowing off of steam. But there are two things about the June episode that sort of kill the mood: After smashing into a woman's car that night, Womble fled the scene -- sort of ruining the whole public-service thing cops are going for. Making things even worse -- but amusing! -- was Womble's specialty: DUI enforcement. 
3. Michael Meissner: After stints at 17 small police departments in 18 years, colleagues might have thought Texas officer Michael Meissner was just easily bored. In fact, it now seems, he kept moving to avoid anyone discovering that he was a dirt bag. Police began investigating Meissner -- a so-called "gypsy" cop who moved from small department to small department, most recently working in Little River-Academy, Texas -- after learning he may be misusing police information to carry out a personal vendetta. Which he was, but that was the least of it: He's now accused of promoting prostitution, engaging in organized crime, and possessing child porn. Details are scant so far, but he faces 110 years. If convicted, he's expected to last exactly 24 minutes in prison.
2. The Chicago Police Department's Special Operations Section: It takes some seriously committed thuggery to break into the Chicago Police Hall of Shame, but four former officers busted down the door this week. Bart Maka, Guadalupe Salinas, Brian Pratscher and Donovan Markiewicz -- once members of the Chicago Police Department's Special Operations Section, a drug and gang unit -- admitted this week to stealing money, storming homes and pulling over motorists for no reason, even blackmailing each other, all in an attempt to have Scorsese make a movie about them. Five more officers still face charges, including Jerome Finnigan, who prosecutors say wanted to kill a colleague to keep him for ratting. The Special Operations Section, you may be surprised to learn, has since been disbanded. Probably a good call.
1. Gregory Moray: Massillon, Ohio is the Dillon, Texas of the north, a place where Friday-night football is sanctuary and Sunday sanctuary is spent breaking down Friday night. So it's no shock that the occasional fight breaks out in the stands. But it's hard to excuse Gregory Moray, an officer in nearby Steubenville, when you learn that he was doing his heckling in the opposing team's stands. And that when things got ugly, Moray, 42, took out his anger on a 63-year-old man, who he punched in the face, police say.
Moray's biggest Friday-night sin, however, wasn't what he did or how he did it, but rather when: He threw the punch during the freshman game, a clear violation of Ohio Athletic Association Rule 4.56A, which states that "heckling, fighting, and all other embarrassment of children must occur during the varsity game, or maybe the JV game if it's a big rivalry, but never, ever the freshman game."
Moray faces disorderly conduct charges and was suspended without pay. He's expected to spend his suspension drawing up football plays that would never work in a real game.
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