Top 5 Creeps of the Week: Led by Balloon Dad Richard Heene, the Creep Who Captured America

Demario Johnson

​These fine citizens won't be welcome at their neighborhood block parties anytime soon. Our Creeps of the Week rarely are.

5. Demario Lamar Johnson and Lashaun Christopher Johnson
When two young, strapping men walked into a Michigan sportswear shop in the middle of a robbery, the owner's wife must have thought they were Godsends. Unfortunately for her, the only place God would send the Johnson brothers is to some really gnarly corner of hell, where the bar only served O'Doul's and the TV was stuck on St. Louis Rams football.

Lashaun Johnson

​

Both in their mid-20s, there's a good chance the brothers could have helped the owner, who was wrestling with a robber on the floor when they entered. Instead, they went on a little shoplifting spree of their own, snaking a leather coat and other clothes while the owner and robber struggled on the floor.

The brothers were arrested two days later, and now face 15 years apiece. Oddsmakers say they will probably escape police custody sometime Monday, be arrested trying to return the leather coat to the store they stole it from on Tuesday, and lead our Stupid Criminals list on Wednesday.

4. Christopher and Nancy Ziomek
The couple that plays together stays together, and the couple that rips off the mourning families of dead people gets indicted together.

That's what we've learned from a Detroit case in which husband and wife funeral home owners Christopher and Nancy Ziomek, both 54, stand accused of using money that was supposed to go to funeral services on themselves. More than 60 families bought prepaid funeral services from the couple's Michigan funeral home, only find out that the money had been spent by the owners, probably on prescription drugs and bad hair pieces and whatever else crooked funeral-home operators might buy.

The couple faces embezzlement charges and could spend 15 years each in prison -- that is, if their victims don't get to them first.

Jovan Anton Collier

​3. Jovan Anton Collier
Angry emails from ex-boyfriends may seem like standard break-up fare. But when your ex has a past like Jovan Anton Collier's, it might be wise to panic.

Collier's ex called Gulfport, Florida authorities recently when, sometime after she kicked him out of the house, he sent this classy email: "I am here in St. Pete and hope to hell I run in to you. You messed me over and I will pay you back." While it's possible he was referring to the $14.95 he owed her for getting those shirts dry cleaned, police don't think so. That might have something to do with the time that Collier, 41, killed his entire family.

Then named Peter Zimmer, Collier was 14 when he pleaded no contest to shooting his adopted father and stabbing to death his adopted mom and brother. And yet apparently he had no problem finding himself love once getting out of prison. That's gotta make Jennifer Anniston really feel like shit.

Collier's been charged with felony stalking, but guess what? Police can't find him. Sleep tight tonight, Gulfport!

Jose Rama Campoverde

​2. Jose Rama Campoverde
As if tithing and interfering with fantasy football weren't enough, yet another pastor has bestowed us yet another reason to steer clear of church.

Jose Rama Campoverde, 45, is the pastor of an Anaheim church called "Ministerio Cristo Vive," which translates roughly to "Hey Little Girl, Come Sit on Daddy's Lap." A 17-year-old girl recently told police that Campoverde had inappropriately touched her after waiting for her at a bus stop and telling her he had permission from Mom to drive the girl home. But she wasn't alone: Just to make sure he got caught, Campoverde apparently touched several girls, including one as young as 13, police say.

Campoverde faces a slew of charges. It's believed he's been trying to get in touch with God a lot lately but keeps getting a busy signal.

Richard Heene

​1. Richard Heene
It was about fourteen seconds after learning that Richard Heene, the father of Bubble Boy, had appeared on Wife Swap that he cemented his place on this week's Creep of the Week list, and he's been climbing his was toward the top ever since.

Heene, of course, is the Class A Creep who used his six-year-old son -- and the monumentally sick idea that his son was trapped in a helium death trap, soaring his way across the Colorado skyline -- to capture the attention of, well, everyone. And while Heene (and, oddly, the local sheriff) continued to insist he honestly believed his son was in the balloon, the story became less and less probable with every firing of every synapse in every rational brain across the land. By the time sheriff finally changed his tune and announced what everyone had known for days -- that the whole thing was a terribly conceived but equally effective publicity stunt -- it barely registered as shrug-worthy for most of the once-captivated country.

That, however, doesn't mean he's not a major creep. May he be sentenced to one long, one-way ride in an industrial strength helium balloon, with not a TV camera for miles.