Dad raped 5 daughters, had 6 kids with them 1
Woman robbed at Walmart, security won't help 2
Cop sells stolen dope to... undercover cop 3
Friday, Oct. 9 2009 @ 10:01AM

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After reviewing the play, the call is upheld: This guy's a perv. (Palo Alto Police).
​These five alleged bastards should make you want to take up golf, just so you have clubs in your trunk on the day God delivers one of them to you. They are also, not coincidentally, our Creeps of the Week.

1. Fry's Freak: There are so many ways a law-abiding horny guy can walk into an electronics store and walk out with some legal tool to see some female nakedness. This is not one of them.

Police in Palo Alto, California -- home to Stanford, Hewlett Packard, and one really unsubtle perv -- are looking for a man they say used a cell-phone camera to look up women's skirts while shopping in a Fry's Electronics. The man apparently strapped his cell phone to his hand bag, placed the bag onto the floor, then nudged it between the legs of women customers, distinguishing himself as the most desperate guy in Fry's -- which is really saying something.

Video footage provided images of the man, but he has yet to be caught. Did anyone check Best Buy?

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James Howard Patton
​4. James Howard Patton: When police seized 39-year-old James Howard Patton's computers in Houston, they were simply looking for evidence that he'd been harassing his girlfriend online. What they found was was way creepier.

Patton, you see, was once a funeral director. And Patton, you see, was not the kind of funeral director that helped alleviates any notion that funeral directors are creepy. Rather, he was the kind of funeral director who, according to police, took photos of himself -- yes, that self -- next to the corpses for which he was charged with caring.

He's been arrested on corpse-abuse charges. If convicted, we're pretty sure whatever punishment he receives won't include allowing the victims' family to fill his pockets with his life savings, hang him from a tree in the park and start swinging. But it really should, shouldn't it?

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Jeffrey Graybill
​3. Jeffrey Graybill: If you've been thinking about sperm donation as a way to ride out the recession, you might want to reconsider.

Jeffrey Graybill, 40, recently began advertising his services on Craigslist, drawing men interested in sperm donation to his Los Angeles clinic. The trouble was, as Fox News reports, Graybill has no expertise, no license -- nothing that qualifies him to collect sperm, really, besides years practice collecting his own in dirty gym socks. What he did have, it seems, is a desire to fondle men who wanted to donate their seed to help stem-cell research and earn a quick four grand.

Needless to say, the men never got paid, and will never look at a doctor the same again. Graybill has been charged with a slew of crimes and, of convicted, should spend several years in prison, where his services might be more welcome. Or maybe they'll get him shanked with a shaved down piece of stale toast. Sort of depends on the customer.

2. Sarah Bledsoe: On the universal list of People Not to Steal From Unless You Want Karma to Kick Your Ass, terminally ill kids have to be pretty high. But police in Indianapolis say that didn't stop 35-year-old Sarah Bledsoe from snaking the donation jar from a Shell Station, which was stuffed $200 designed to pay for the funeral costs of a dying 6-month-old boy.

Bledsoe, nabbed by security-camera footage, was arrested on charges of theft and -- wouldn't you know it? -- possession of drug paraphernalia.

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Simon Bussie
​1. Simon Bussie: Admittedly too vile to be included among cell-phone pervs and donation-jar thieves, Simon Bussie, if proved guilty, is a name you should know, on the off chance you wind up in an Alabama prison for passing bad checks and run into him. Once you read on, you'll know what to do when you see him.

Bussie, 44, is the pastor and day-care operator at Eagles Cove Revival Center in Jemison, Alabama. Charged with the well being of 15 young children, he was arrested this week on accusations that he sexually abused and sodomized an 11-year-old girl, the Press-Register reported. He's in jail awaiting prosecution.

We suspect his fellow prisoners won't throw him a welcome party.