Gary Jensen: "Here, try my nunchuks."

5. Gary Jensen: Gary Jensen was about to achieve the highest office in local law enforcement. And then: YouTube.

Jensen was scheduled to be sworn in as chief of police in Logan, Utah recently when the ceremony was delayed by the town's mayor, who wasn't impressed by a video that surfaced of the chief-to-be, even though the video sounds pretty amusing. While we can't find it on YouTube -- not for lack of effort! -- a local TV station says the video shows Jensen turning over his nunchuks to a civilian, who then strikes another person with them. While this would have won $10,000 on Funniest Home Videos, the Logan mayor thought it might not have been such a grand idea.

Jensen was eventually introduced as chief. Hey: At least he didn't give him his pistol, right?

4. Mark Weatherly: A Memphis police officer was indicted this week on manslaughter charges after his squad car ran down a vehicle driven by Stephanie Montague, killing the woman.

Montague was driving with a passenger when her car was struck by the black-and-white driven by officer Mark Weatherly, who was not flashing his lights or sounding a siren when he sped through a Memphis intersection, the victim's family says.

Montague's family has asked for justice in the case. This week, they believe prosecutors took a step in that direction.

3. Mickey East: Give Dallas Detective Mickey East credit: He takes his work home with him. But in police work -- sort of like in boxing and butchering -- that's not always a good thing.

East, a family violence detective, wanted to get organized recently, so he took more than 2,000 case files home from the department and filed them in his garage. But, like most people's garages, the veteran cop's storage space was not exactly up to department standards. "I don't think he had a system," Deputy Chief Mike Genovesi, commander of the special investigations division, told the Dallas Morning News.

East may face prosecution, but that's the least of his worries. After four years on family violence and 37 years as a cop, he's already been reassigned to the impound lot, which is sort of like a baseball player being asked to drag the infield during the seventh inning stretch, only way more awful.

2. Yamhill County Sheriffs: "You can do all kinds of speculation on what makes this guy tick -- but intelligence isn't one of them," a sheriff's lieutenant told a Portland, Oregon TV station when describing Andrew Webb. Which makes it all the more embarrassing that Webb pulled one over on the sheriff's deputies.

Webb was in custody on parole-violation and other charges recently when he started to complain of a back injury. Eventually deputies believed him, and for his next court appearance, an officer transported Webb by wheelchair. But that was exactly what Webb wanted: The wheelchair route was outside the courthouse, allowing Webb to make a break for it. His feet unbound, he simply stood from the chair and ran.

Police didn't catch him until the next day, when Webb, who is indeed super dumb, decided to steal beers from a truck stop, and then drink those beers in broad daylight. He jumped into the nearby river but was captured after being caught in a logjam.

Yamhill County Sheriffs: "You might get away, but we'll catch you eventually, presuming you drink beers down by the river and can't swim too good."

1. Pitt County Sheriff's Office: Either Jesse Ray Hardy Jr. looks damn good for his age, or deputies in Pitt County, South Carolina need to pay a little more attention to detail.

Deputies recently went looking for a man named Jesse Ray Hardy Jr. who was wanted on charges of resisting an officer. But apparently the officer he resisted didn't get a good look at him, because when deputies thought they'd found their man -- all the way across the state -- they'd actually found just another guy with the same name. And that guy, they later discovered, was 23 years older than their suspect.

The wrong Hardy Jr. spent a week in jail before deputies admitted their error. And what did deputies do to remedy their mistake? Paid for Hardy Jr.'s bus fare home. Not a ride. Not a flight. Bus fare.

Classy, guys. Classy.