Mom Loses Kids, Asks for Advice in Dealing with Violent Son

• OMG! You poor woman! Please don't listen to these mental stabilization morons! Your son already shows major mental issues, if you let them drug him up, he will be on the front page next! Are you aware that in the state of TX, the TMAP has successfully drugged 2/3 of children in the foster care system with psych meds? This is because of legislation passed in combination with the pharma lobbyists. No other reason than to make $$$$. You need to get your kids out these people's hands right away. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE! I also grew up in a house with many children, I was the oldest of six and it is very chaotic and there's of lot of rivalry going on. Stressors can make this much worse and young boys are not good at controlling their agression. My brother was violent for a time, standing over my mother and intimidating her and punching me but he got over it. I believe this was in reaction to my father's suicide (after being treated with psych meds for 3 years-I always felt sorry for him and thought how sad he was but now I realize, he was a trooper, he did what the doctors said and tried to get better until the drugs finally overcame him and he walked in front of a train.) The last thing your son needs is mind-altering conroversial drugs which we don't know the truth about!!!!!!!!!!!

• Come to think of it, I can see the excessive acne in the photo. That's another sign he's taking something (testosterone) that's throwing off his equilibrium. Yes he's 17 and that could account for some of it, but the steroids will make it a lot worse than it otherwise would be. Be careful.

• 17 years old and 200 lbs of muscle? Check his bedroom and car for signs of steroid use. If he's working out a lot and is highly aggressive/unstable, there's a good chance the added hormones are making him that way. Check it out, seriously. He needs to get off them and then his head will clear somewhat. Good luck with that. Just find them and flush them. You're looking for little medicine bottles, syringes (needles), rubbing alcohol, band-aids, cotton balls, etc. Get rid of them somehow, hide the kitchen knives, lock the tool shed and go somewhere for a couple of days. Be ready to defend yourself when you return.

• I really don't know what to say about this. He's obviously has some anger management issues, if not more. Pulling the gun out may have been a scare tactic but it probably wasnt the smartest decision either. So much could have gone wrong, and now this is the outcome. I don't know, something doesnt make sense to me. All of this over you yelling at him about his grades? Something just doesnt seem right.

• Send him to juvenile corrections or boot camp. If he's old enough, get him sent to jail. That will be a wake up call for him.

• When he turns 18 show him the door.

• OMG. I feel so horrible for these parents. I have 5 kids and the oldest is 13. I hope and pray that the new temper he is starting to show never turns into something like this. I also have an 11 year old who has a nasty temper, but never to the point of violence. His temper does not extend to me, his mother, because he knows I'll knock his block off. But I am 5'2, so for how long?? My kids don't curse or get physical. They just stomp away or talk back under their breath. That is bad enough! I hope that they will always respect me, even when they don't fear me. Do these kids start out as respectful children and turn into something else, or are these the kids who have always been rotten to their parents and this is the outcome of allowing your kids to run over you for so long?

• Sorry about the typos, I meant to say "unless" and "trying". I'm multi-tasking. I'm not bashing you (the mom), or even the dad, but when there is a serious family problem with one family member, it doesn't hurt for the whole family to get help. I have a child who is Bipolar, and she can get very angry and out of control at times if she is not stabalized on her meds. There was a point when they were trying to determine which meds would work for her when she was very unstable and was extremely aggressive towards her younger brothers, and they were terrified. I had her placed in a facility temporarily until they got her meds stabalized (it took about 9 months because they had to get the combination just right). It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but my two sons were so relieved to not have to be afraid of her, and they were able to have enough time to understand her illness so that when she did come back home, their relationship was intact (and even improved), and they were better prepared to handle her mood swings (which were vastly improved by the medication). She has been home for 4 years now, and while there are rough patches, we are not afraid of her physically, and I don't feel the need to sleep with "one eye open". Now that she is older, I have also made it very clear that if she does put the rest of the family in a position where we are afraid of her, she will not remain in the home, but will always be part of our family. We love her, and we support her, but I will not allow anyone in my home to threaten the safety of anyone else. I hope for the best for you and your family, but you need to remember that as a parent, you have to protect your kids, even if it means protecting them from one of their siblings. If he (your son) needs in-patient help, that doesn't make you a bad parent. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do for everyone. I don't mean lock him up somewhere and forget him or abandon him, but get him the serious intense help he needs before he is an adult and the police and legal system step in, because they wont care if he's mentally ill, they will just put him in jail. Not to mention that if you don't get him the proper help he needs, and he does hurt someone, you could be held liable as long as he is a minor.

• This reminds me of a quote, "Don't ever point a gun at someone if you're not prepared to shoot." If your husband wasn't intending to use the gun in a defensive manner to shoot an attacker, the gun should have never been brought out. And loaded or not, you don't point a gun at a child... unless you are truly in fear for your life, in which case, you shoot. If you're not prepared to shoot your son, then don't go pointing guns at him. You and your husband are afraid of your son and apparently no longer able to control his anger, so I am guessing the kids in the home are afraid too, and could potentially be in danger as long as he is allowed to stay in the home. My suggestion would be to get him a mental evaluation immediately, or have the state do it if they now have custody of him. If he is removed from the home (like to a group home), then the danger is removed and the kids should be able to come back home. However, I think some parenting classes are in order for the husband... you don't point guns at your kids (inless they are coming at you tryign to kill you, then you USE the gun... if you are truly in fear of your life). If the boy has been in anger management for 2 years, then you already knew there was a serious problem with him. Sometimes you have to remove a dangerous teen from the home, as painful as it may be, to protect those who have no choice but to remain in the home. You can't force your children to live in a dangerous situation, period.

• My sons are now 29 (twins). During their teenage years I was a single parent going through a divorce from their father. It sounds to me like there are other issues going on besides anger. Is he addicted to or doing drugs? Steroids? Have you taken him to a DR for a Mental Health evaluation? You must try to get to the bottom of his anger if you want to help your son. If you are fed up turn him loose..In Florida you could emancipate him I do not know about Texas.

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