There is often no need to rush the inevitable — a fact lost on New Mexico corrections officer Lisa Lloyd.
Apparently, a man by the name of Gary Tesch was being held at the Eddy County Detention Center on charges of sexual penetration of a minor. And it just so happened that Lloyd, who worked at Eddy, was a relative of the child molested by Tesch.
But rather than let the laws of nature — or at least the pecking order of inmates — sort themselves out, Lloyd decided she couldn’t wait for Tesch to get raped in prison — the most common welcome for pedophiles entering the system. Instead, Lloyd offered to pay inmate Johnny Rae Brazeal $100 to beat Tesch’s ass. And that’s exactly what happened the very day that Tesch was convicted and sentenced to 18 years in the slammer.
However, it’s not simply the fact that Lloyd paid an inmate to beat up another inmate — no matter how noble her intentions might have been — that has earned her the number five spot on our list.
In fact, Lloyd could have probably gotten away with her scheme if she’d just paid Brazeal as promised. But when Lloyd delayed coughing up the cash, Brazeal sent her a note warning that he would take the issue to his lawyer if she didn’t pay him soon. The only problem was that the note didn’t end up with Lloyd, but the jail’s administrators, who quickly launched an internal investigation that ended in Lloyd’s firing.
Now it’s Lloyd who finds herself behind bars after being charged with criminal solicitation. Sometimes, revenge isn’t so sweet.
4. Byron Sieber
It’s one thing when you hear about a firearms novice or a small child accidentally shooting themselves with a gun. But a veteran police officer?
That’s exactly what happened to Byron Sieber last week when he was cleaning his .40 caliber Glock — a gun he’d carried for over 31 years as a Grand Forks, North Dakota police lieutenant.
It turns out that Sieber, who left the force in January, was cleaning his weapon just after returning from the police department’s shooting range, where he’d qualified for a conceal-and-carry permit. As he dismantled his gun, Sieber forget to check the chamber for any live rounds. Now, we’re no experts at gun cleaning, but making sure one’s firearm is rid of bullets seems like a mighty obvious thing to do.
Instead, Sieber pulled the trigger of his weapon and fired off a bullet that grazed his left thigh and knee before ricocheting around the room.
The good news is that Sieber is fine after being treated for minor injuries at his local hospital.
The bad news: most firearms owners in America aren’t half as experienced with guns as Sieber, who, after a lifetime of carrying a Glock, still managed to almost kill himself. Now that’s a scary thought.
3. Andrew Gill
Abuse of power is a common theme in law enforcement bungling. It’s no shock that police officers often take the perks of having a badge a tad too far. But when that abuse is in the name of cutting the line for beer pong, then that’s a whole new level of just-plain-wrong.
Take, for instance, rookie officer Andrew Gill. During the wee hours of New Year’s Day, Gill found himself at an underage booze fest in the basement of some kid’s parents’ house in Lancaster, New York. Now, dear reader, you’re probably thinking he was there to enforce the law, right? Totally wrong.
It turns out that Gill was simply there to get his party on. And it was when the 23-year-old was standing in line for a game of beer pong that he decided to exert a bit of his police manliness. Apparently, Gill just couldn’t wait his turn. But when he tried to cut the line, 17-year-old Justin Mangold called him out and told him he had to wait like everyone else.
That’s when Gill lost it. He began screaming that he was a cop and could do whatever he wanted. Mangold just shrugged him off and began walking away when Gill decided to punch the kid in the face. By the time Gill was done with Mangold, he had a chipped tooth, two black eyes, and a broken nose.
On Monday, Gill was charged with one count of misdemeanor assault. If convicted, his short lived career as a cop — approximately three weeks — might be over.
2. Gregory Marshall
It isn’t just the sheer perviness of the next two cops that made them our Number One and Two for the week — it’s also their sheer stupidity.
Let’s start with Gregory Marshall, shall we? Last week, the 26-year-old Memphis, Tennessee cop was arrested for statutory rape. However, it’s not just the fact that Marshall slept with an underage girl that makes him so pathetic — it’s also the fact that he so carefully documented his crime.
The 17-year-old victim says that they had sex on three separate occasions. On at least one of those, Marshall apparently tried to seduce her with his extensive collection of homemade sex tapes. However, the girl wasn’t enthusiastic about watching him have sex with other women, so when he suggested they make their own, she refused.
But it turns out that girl really had no choice. After his arrest, police discovered that Marshall had video tapped the two having sex without the girl’s knowledge or consent. Police are now analyzing Marshall’s other sex tapes to see if the women were also minors and/or unaware that he was taping them.
Since his arrest, Marshall has been fired from the Memphis Police Department. Maybe a career in weird porn awaits him?
1. Brandon Loverde
Our top story of the week is probably one of the creepiest, weirdest tales of police behaving badly that we’ve ever heard.
Last month, Brandon Loverde — a 31-year-old police officer in Orlando, Florida — was moonlighting as a security guard at the Firestone Live night club when he cornered 21-year-old Rachelle Cortez.
Loverde claimed that the club had a “no trespass” order against Cortez for underage drinking and it was his job to kick her out of the club. That’s when Loverde escorted the pregnant Cortez outside and ordered her to sit on the ground between two cars. He took down her driver’s license information and cell phone number, before he ordered her to stay pu
t while he ran and grabbed something.
When Loverde returned, things got weird. First, he nicely offered Loverde a bottle of water. Then, he proceeded to put a latex glove on, before shoving his had down her shirt and squeezing her breasts until they lactated. At that point, Loverde asked Cortez if he could “suck on them.” Cortez said no, and the exchange was over. After letting Cortez go, Loverde panicked and went MIA before his shift was over.
Loverde eventually turned himself in to police, who’d already given Cortez a lie detector test, which she’d passed. It also turned out that the Firestone Live club didn’t have a “no trespass” order against Cortez in the first place.
Police booked Loverde into the Orange County Jail and charged him with false imprisonment and battery. Two hours later he was released on $5,500 bail and was told to never contact Cortez again. He was also suspended without pay from the Orlando Police Department.