Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen
In Portland, the Laziest Unarmed Robbery Ever
Friday, January 15, 2010 at 11:18 am
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But if you don't mind us saying, the city's robber class could use a few sessions with a motivational speaker to up their commitment to bad guyism.
Take the guy who decided to rob a FedEx Kinko's store. What did he expect to get away with, some fuschia cardstock? And he didn't even put any effort into his caper. He simply walked up to a clerk and handed him a note: ''This is a robbery, I'll wait outside for police, sorry.''
No gun waving? No threats? And you're calling yourself a robber?
The man just outside and waited for cops to arrive. Police believe he merely wanted to go to jail. Aside from weirdness, Portland also has a lot of people not particularly committed to working for a living.
But he was too lazy to even do that properly. Since he didn't have a gun, and was too lazy to execute his robbery, all they could charge him for was initiating a false report, which in Portland is a lesser crime than failing to recycle a Pepsi bottle.
C'mon, people. This is America. We can do better.
Tags: Oregon
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