Dad raped 5 daughters, had 6 kids with them
Wednesday, Jan. 27 2010 @ 1:14PM
When heading off to jail, it's best to commit a crime that will provide you with a manly story to tell your fellow inmates, something a little more desperado-like than, say, knee-capping a rival figure skater. Working as a hired gun for the Mafia always sounds good...
Armored car heists always have a nice ring to them. And even if you're not quite up to something this ambitious, you can still trot out the old resisting arrest.
Unfortunately, Robert T. Jenkins now sits in jail with probably the worst criminal tale ever. He was arrested at a Walmart in Canton, Ohio for peeing on steaks. Yes, you heard that right.
Cops were called to the store after Jenkins simply walked up to the meat counter, pulled out his manly apparatus -- which we hope isn't capable of reproduction -- and begin peeing on the steak selection.
No one seems to know why he did it, unless he was practicing a bold new form of marinating.
The poor dope supposedly ruined $600 worth meat. (Be careful, Canton area shoppers. This being Walmart, there's a good chance they simply hosed them down and put them back on display.)
Jenkins has been charged with felony vandalism and disorderly conduct.
I bet he just needed a place to stay for the winter. Its cold out there.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 01:59:25 PMWell, considering the unsanitary conditions of their restrooms and the dog food they pass off as meat, I'm not convinced he didn't choose the best spot to empty his bladder. This is hilarious.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 02:02:29 PMWalmart, again? We need a separate website devoted to Walmart and all the stupid shit that happens there. Or maybe there already is one?
Posted 01/27/2010 at 02:08:47 PMbold new form of marinating
Posted 01/27/2010 at 03:18:20 PMROFLMAO!
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
Posted 01/27/2010 at 04:08:43 PMThe appropriate word to use here, TCR, is "urinating" - not "p**ing."
Wonder if he did it out of hatred or simple chronic stupidity?
Posted 01/27/2010 at 04:19:22 PMdamn it be like that some time
Posted 01/27/2010 at 04:35:51 PMIam sure he just needed a place to stay for the winter.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 04:39:04 PMHarvey,
Peeing is a word.
Pete,
Posted 01/27/2010 at 05:21:49 PMI must disagree with you, b/c I think that this is the manliest of all crimes, b/c I cannot pee on stuff and if I could, I think I would pee on a lot of stuff!!! I would just so love to be in jail for this!!!
The urine of a physically health person is sterile.
Yep, that's a fact.
Just sayin'.
Glad I gave up red meat though....
Posted 01/27/2010 at 05:26:50 PMYes, but did he have enough time to spell his name?
Posted 01/27/2010 at 05:34:57 PMWhile the incident is just another example of the end of days, I would expect the people reporting to at the very least use the grammer checking module of Word. Was the Editor out to lunch? Is (s)he a vegetarian? Was the culprit wearing a yellow hanky? There seems to be quite a bit of homosexual undertones here; anti-reproduction, manhood, meat, peeing.....hmmmm. I guess the whole thing could have been worse, a white woman could have done the deed.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 05:35:38 PMVic,
Posted 01/27/2010 at 05:41:12 PMYou see, I totally don't see what you see. Meat, peeing, I guess it leads you to fudge-packing?!!?!? I don't know but I AM A WHITE WOMAN and I would love to be able to pee on stuff. I think that would be great. My husband or kid says something I don't like....and bam I pee on stuff. 'Nuff said. I think it's awesome and we should start using this instead of guns and things that really hurt people.
Fudge packing?? Did you mean anal intercourse?? Well, not all homosexuals practice the act Luv, just like not all women dribble, while some heterosexuals do practice A.I., even white women who can indeed release pent-up frustrations by peeing *on stuff*. I suggest a few Kegels; good for you, great for him and you may open new sexual avenues you've never explored.
This like the previous was meant with a satirical twist, twisted mentality even. Ah forget it, I can see the readers of TCR don't have the warped mentality I have, but then I don't feel the need to pee on things when people say things I don't like. ;-) Back to Oprah.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 05:56:33 PMVic,
Posted 01/27/2010 at 07:41:50 PMNo, I just really want to pee on stuff. Why would I be dishonest about this?
I think you'd find that peeing on stuff is vastly overrated, Rocki.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 11:15:34 PMfor the guy that said urinating is the correct term to use...i will disagree. its micturate. urination takes place in the bladder i believe. i mean...if you want to be technical.
Posted 01/27/2010 at 11:33:27 PMLol oh I don't know what's funnier, the story or the comments!
Rocki, the other day me and my husband got into an "arguement" and over how women can do somethings better than some men (i.e. Laundry, birth, dressing. Just different weird things) because someone at his work went off on a female driver syaing that women shouldn't be allowed to have CDL's. And I said something about we can't pee standing up or write our names when we pee! I agree with you, I would like to be able to do that, even if just for one day! Especailly when you think about having to sit down to pee in some of the public restrooms you go to! Eck! And those seat protector things?!?! Yea right! You have to use like 20 of them to feel slightly safe to sit!
And Pete, peeing standing up is only overrated to you because you can do it! You can also pee sitting down! How is that fair?!?! Lol
Posted 01/27/2010 at 11:35:44 PMFucking niggers
Posted 01/27/2010 at 11:37:40 PMThere is no way that THAT is Rocki.
Posted 01/28/2010 at 04:30:07 AMBreccia,
Posted 01/28/2010 at 11:27:52 AMUrine is serile, but the urinary tract is not. That is why healthcare workers must wear gloves when dealing with those fluids. Read before you speak.
What a bunch of PISS-heads. Or maybe I should say URINE-heads?? Not really sure anymore....and who knew that urine was sterile? I'm 44 and learned something new today. Whooo Hooo life is good today!!
Posted 01/28/2010 at 03:27:24 PMCC,
Posted 01/28/2010 at 03:30:45 PMThat totally was me and I still wish I could pee on stuff, today, just like I did yesterday. I think it's totally unfair that I can't and I blame God for my pain about this subject.
How quickly we forget the opening sequence of WaterWorld, yes, he drank his own peepee and of course for you guys in the military, or survivalists in general, you can indeed drink pee in the event of lack of water in the wild. However, you can only recycle 3 times, if I recall. Anyone in the military care to concure??
Posted 01/28/2010 at 04:34:08 PMLOL - What makes you think WALMART is going to rinse them off?!?
Posted 01/28/2010 at 04:37:53 PMWho the hell buys meat at Walmart?
Posted 01/28/2010 at 04:47:17 PMThat's just wrong.
Walmart freezes their meat during transportation then they thaw it out before they toss it in the meat case. THAT is why it tastes awful.
Posted 01/28/2010 at 05:04:51 PMRed neck marinate, that's how they do it in nascar!
Wal-mart... if your so damn pathetic as to buy your steaks there then you get what you deserve, piss on wal-mart... literally!
Posted 01/28/2010 at 05:22:36 PMMy guess is it probably improved their flavor. lol
Posted 01/28/2010 at 05:55:29 PMAhll pee bock!
Posted 01/28/2010 at 06:11:19 PMRocki, you need go-girl! With the go-girl, you can pee standing up & even write your name, just like us dudes! May all your wizzing dreams come true... www.go-girl.com
Posted 01/28/2010 at 06:19:03 PMOk, the comments on here are hilarious. I have to agree with Rocki and Marie, sometimes it would just be nice to be able to unzip our pants and piss without the bother of covering a nasty toilet seat or having to hover. The only rule that men have to follow is not to pee into the wind. Oh, and not to pee on the meat at Wal-Mart. Guess that makes two rules.
Posted 01/28/2010 at 06:19:06 PMOkay,
Vic: You're stupid. Where do you Get off Arguing about piss?
Harvey: PEE. Yep, that's right. I said It. Uncover your ears And embrace the Dirty words.
Rocki & Marie: I totally agree, Sometimes I'll be hanging With my friends and a Guy will say "I've gotta piss" and he'll go over To a bush and Just pee. We girls have to Either find a Bathroom or squat.
Stop the Racism Now!: The snow May be falling in The winter Of my discontent, But at least I have Sarcastic company.
L2Read: Yeah, piss is Steril, WHILE IT'S WARM. Yeah, the urinary Tract is not sterile. But guess what, In the body or Not; while it's Warm, Piss is Sterile. If you think You know So much about medical-Related topics, how about you Go to college For it.
Wow... stupid people just... they Really piss me Off.
Posted 01/28/2010 at 06:46:09 PMHahaha XD
Pun most certainly Intended.
gracey,
Posted 01/28/2010 at 06:49:41 PMThanks, this is my favorite story ever!
If a women pee's stand up, she will end up getting it on her. I think I will stick to setting down. Rocki your joking, right? This is not a dream of your's?
Posted 01/28/2010 at 06:52:11 PMHey, don't eat the yellow meat!
What did security say to the guy when they hauled him in?
"Hey mister, Urine trouble!"
-------
Posted 01/28/2010 at 07:02:19 PMCC,
No! No joke at All! I often find myself Wondering what God was thinking When he decided to Make women have To sit down to Pee! It's just not Fair!
LoL
@Al Layard: LMAO. Thats awesome XD
www.go-girl.com
Posted 01/28/2010 at 07:08:20 PMThis is for Real!
Wow.... I can't believe I'm actually Considering getting one!
XD
GOOD ONE Al!
CC, if you MUST have an explanation, then..I have four younger brothers and we took turns evenly beating the crap out of each other, but they can pee on stuff whenever they want. It's just not fair. This is the ultimate argument/conversation ender to get your point across, it would be a lot more effective than just bitching, (which is all I can do) and I think men are secretly aware of this power and that is why they are so cocky and arrogant. (The more you tell me I don't want makes me just want to more!) I don't care what anyone says, this guy is my hero!
Posted 01/28/2010 at 07:14:48 PMRocki,
It is snowing here in southwest kansas and all I could think about was wanting to write my name in the snow! I mean come on! Just once I would like to be able to do it! And I think a lot of women secretly want this as well.
Is there really a thing that we can use to to pee standing up?!?! I'm gonna have to look into that! Wouldn't that freak my husband out! Next time he decides to walk in on me in the bathroom and I'm pissing standing up! Would also come in very handy for public restrooms! I'm gonna go check it out!
Posted 01/29/2010 at 02:18:42 AMActually, there's a way for women to urinate while standing. It was common in Japan in the pre-industrial era. There were bathrooms for women, who would raise their kimonos, and pee standing up. Can't remember the technique though.
There are also 'add-on' devices for this task :)
http://www.poopreport.com/Techniques/Content/Standing/standing.html?from=140&comments_per_page=140
http://forum.sbrforum.com/private-zone/53352-women-can-now-pee-standing-up.html
Posted 01/29/2010 at 05:54:07 AMI'm sure it was an honest mi-steak.
Posted 01/29/2010 at 09:01:30 AMwww.peopleofwalmart.com
Posted 01/29/2010 at 09:12:35 AMExcuse me while I whip dis' out...
Posted 01/29/2010 at 10:21:55 AMi don't wanna be a total copycat criminal - but thats awesome. maybe i'll pee on the baked goods instead
Posted 01/29/2010 at 12:39:03 PMSeth,(igger),
Posted 01/31/2010 at 05:21:47 AMI think someone opened your skull and took a big cleveland steamer inside of it.
Ah, Romeo where for art thou? This guy is cute and he is my hero, too.
Posted 02/01/2010 at 07:50:56 PMFreud was hung up on "penis envy" the only thing I'm envious about,as far as a penis goes is that you can pee so easily, in almost any situation,even if you're stranded in traffic you could pee in a bottle!! I agree with the other women, it would make life a little bit easier! (=
Posted 02/06/2010 at 12:07:58 PMErin, you've never peed in a bottle before? It's pretty easy and can be useful. Just find the exact place your pee comes out of (women have urethras too ya know) and put the bottle opening directly over that spot, leaving a tiny gap for air to escape. I have peed in plenty of bottles, and have no envy for penises.
Posted 02/06/2010 at 12:34:23 PMuhhh your right the meat wouldnt taste any worse mass produced meat is horrifying yuck. beeef from walmart your kidding right! DISGUSTING! DONT FEED IT TO YOUR KIDS IF U LOVE THEM!
Posted 02/06/2010 at 10:34:36 PMI just got out and he was in my cell. Called em the wal mart wizzer. He's cool just got too fucked up one night. coulda happened to anyone. shitty texas holdem player
Posted 02/13/2010 at 08:12:52 PMO.O You don't see that every day. You do not want to know what ran through his head at the time of that incident. And here we are, laughing at him behind the computer screen as we speak.
Say, I wonder who might have the nerve to bare all to answer his natural needs? Thankfully not everyone.
Thank human knowledge for keeping natural needs to yourself!
Posted 02/26/2010 at 05:27:50 AM