Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen 1
Her Diary Is Even Scarier 2
Jury Seeks Death for Slasher 3

Austin Purifoy, Moron of the Day: Got Back at His Girlfriend by Defecating in Wrong Car

By Pete Kotz in Stupid Criminals, bizarre
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 10:03 am
Austin-Purifoy_opt-1.jpg
​There's seems to be a recurring motif here. To put it in a scientific equation, it goes something like this: Jealous Ex-Boyfriend = Degenerate Mope. Exhibit A: 18-year-old Austin Purifoy of Las Cruces, New Mexico...

It seems he wanted to get back at his girlfriend, known only as Desiree. So he naturally decided to break into her Honda and take a dump. C'mon, you'd the same thing if Desiree broke up with you, right?

But seeing as how Purifoy's a moron, he got the wrong car. This was revealed when the real owner walked out to his car, only to find the window broken and a man inside pulling up his pants.

When the man asked what he was doing, Purifoy responded, "I thought this was Desiree's car." But before the owner could kick his ass, our hero fled the scene.

Just to make sure his dignity dropped a little further, Puifoy was arrested after police found him hiding in a ditch. His excuse for being there: He didn't want Desiree to see him smoking.

He's been charged with criminal damage to property and breaking and entering. Police are also nominating him for this year's Dumbest Criminal in Las Cruces, New Mexico Award, a prestigious honor granted last year to a man caught trying to rob a tool shed that he'd mistaken for a bank.

Tags: Moron of the Day, New Mexico

More links from around the web!

Email Print