Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen
Thomas Althoff, Porker Inmate, Hid Dope in His Rolls of Fat; Reason No. 6,392 for War on Obesity
Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Thomas Althoff, 33, was arrested for merely driving with a suspended license. It's one of those minor pinches where you simply pay a fine, lose a few more driving privileges, and walk away. But he decided to compound his troubles...
It seems our hero was carrying some contraband Xanax when he was arrested. He'd been patted down, searched, and thrown in a cell. But deputies forgot to check that hiding place preferred by bad guys of the Porker Generation: his rolls of fat.
Althoff managed to sneak the pills into jail by hiding them in his stomach blubber. Alas, he was far less discreet while trying to snort them. A guard witnessed him "attempting to snort a crushed yellow substance that was on a piece of cardboard," according to the arrest report, says 10-TV in Tampa.
At first he claimed he found the pills in his cell, but later confessed to the ingenious porkerocity maneuver. Now, instead of just taking the driving pinch, he's charged with possessing contraband in jail.
Tags: Florida
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