Did gold digger kill her elderly boyfriend?
Andrew Whiteman, Drunk Vampire, Threatened to Kill Cop's Children, Eat Another's Kidney
Wednesday, Apr. 21 2010 @ 2:13PM
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| If you're going to be a vampire, you should at least have some respectably scary teeth. Is that too much to ask? |
Police pulled up as he was trying to kick his way through the door. They thought it might be good to arrest him. And that's when our pint-sized drunk decided to start threatening the cops.
He told them he was a 100-year-old vampire who would live forever. Then he threatened to kill one officer and his children, and claimed he could smell the cop's blood from the backseat of the cruiser.
When he was booked into jail, he was so unruly he had to be put in restraints. He threatened to eat the kidney of a female jailer.
By morning, the 21-year-old from Royal Oak, Michigan had sobered up enough to realize he'd acted like a huge dick. He apologized to the cops for his behavior.
But that wasn't enough to rid him of the charges. He's been hit with breaking and entering, disorderly conduct, intimidation, and sucking at the vampirecal arts.
If I were going to claim to be an immortal vampire (who doesn't when they get hammered??), I'd at least say I was older than 100. 100 isn't a very impressive number.
Just a thought.
Posted 04/21/2010 at 03:13:26 PMYet another jewel - AAAAAAAHHAHHAHHHA!!!
Posted 04/21/2010 at 03:16:45 PMLMAO @ sucking at the vampirecal arts! That's too funny! hahahaha. Good Story Pete! :o)
Posted 04/21/2010 at 03:28:09 PMI hope he's single! Mama's gotta hoist up the puppies, head for the jail house, and offer him my neck- oh to be bitten and then...then..... we'll do somethin' vampire-ish. It'll be naught-tae!
Posted 04/21/2010 at 03:32:00 PMLMAO @ Bheobe right on!
Posted 04/21/2010 at 03:35:50 PMI'm impressed. I thought vampires only drank blood!
lmao @ Bhoebe!
Posted 04/21/2010 at 06:27:28 PMlol Bhoebe!
I think being 100 in Vampire years is like being a 'tween. So maybe they need to eat kidneys to uh... grow up... or something. I forgot where I was going with this- thanks Bhoebe!
Posted 04/21/2010 at 06:33:02 PMOk, I just about choked on my popcorn bhoebe!! You are too funny! Why do they always have to claim they are vampires?!?! That one is gettin old! Come up with something new! Like your bigfoot or the loch nest monster! Be creative! Jeeze!
Posted 04/21/2010 at 07:37:55 PMLike Moet mentioned, 100 isn't very old for a vampire. Be careful Bhoebe, you might get slapped with a statutory or something. We'd all hate to read about your "exploits" with an underage vamp on here. ;)
Posted 04/21/2010 at 10:44:52 PM@ Marie heck... I do hate to shave.... and I need a hair cut super bad. I think I could pass as a Yettie! :D
Posted 04/22/2010 at 12:08:45 AM--
eh. They'd never buy it. I am short and have beautiful teeth :)
I too am sick of these duster-wearing freak-oids thinking vampire stuff is cool. Ya when done in a book or movie (and done well)... *pat pat* "Wake up sweetie, you're going to be late for reality"
"Blargh! I am a vampire! I will eat your kidney!
"Just the one...? I mean, if you're gonna go there, might as well Hannibal Lector it up with fava beans and a nice... Corona... or whatever the tweens drink these days."
Posted 04/22/2010 at 12:42:02 AMEmo Twilight Vampire Wannabees...sigh. They make you want to do a face-palm. They give real theatrical Vampires a bad name.
Although it does reminds me of that really bad Nicholas Cage Vampire movie, Vampire's Kiss, from the late-1980's. Nicholas Cage played a mentally unstable young man who became convinced he was a vampire and started trying to kill people with his glow-in-the-dark plastic vampire teeth he bought for $1. I smell a Hollywood Reboot of this film coming, based on this perp.
Posted 04/22/2010 at 12:29:07 PMBhoebe, I'm short too (5 foot even!). Maybe if we dress up in little green suits and carry around a pot o' gold, we could pass as leperchauns (or however you spell it!). Although, I'm not sure I would like people chasing me around, tryin to jack my gold!
Moet, you are too funny! I could hear anthony hopkins when you said that! Not sure what the kids are drinking these days, but I'm sure its probably something fruity, maybe a wine cooler or something. Not sure that would go along with a kidney though.
Posted 04/22/2010 at 02:38:20 PMSheesh-what have I been missing out here? LOL
Posted 04/22/2010 at 02:44:01 PMeh- I busted some tweens drinking they had some clear cooler-type bottles and they put jolly ranchers in the bottom (gross) But when I was still a teen *shhmochh* years ago we drank the ONE the ONLY Champagne of beers! Miller High-life light (gross). But I'd like to think I've grown since then--I drink Busch Light Damn it! :D
Posted 04/22/2010 at 02:58:30 PM@Marie heck I've got the perfect striped-knee high socks (from christmas) and gold heels--but they'll work! :D Ah what I wouldn't give to be able to grow a red beard too. Mmmm a girl can dream ..... *happy sigh*
Bhoebe,
I don't know what those tweens were drinking, but a friend of mine made me a drink one time and now I love it! Its either Malibu or captian Morgan with ice and jolly ranchers and you mix it like a margarita. Its pretty tasty! I don't do beer unless I'm short on cash or I have some tomato juice with it! Beer is just nasty!
LOL at your socks and heels! Can I wear flip flops?!?!?! I can't wear heels!!!! I don't think I would look good with a beard tho! Maybe just a simple goatee or something!
Posted 04/22/2010 at 11:09:40 PM@ Marie heck
Posted 04/22/2010 at 11:28:57 PMlol: "goatee" hee hee hee *glowing cheeks*
Smooth andy....
Real smooth.
Posted 05/03/2010 at 09:57:05 PMNo way.
Posted 05/28/2010 at 01:22:07 AMOh Andy. What a guy.
Posted 05/28/2010 at 09:45:24 PMgeezle he said 100yrs old, what a young bastard, he has no right using the vampyre name without plausable evidence. What no teeth, cant kick through a lousy wood door, woosy. Besides blood before booze and youll never lose.
Posted 08/09/2010 at 06:24:54 PMwhat movie is that picture from. ive seen it i just cant remember what its off of. if u could rite me back that would be great thanks.
Posted 08/20/2010 at 09:50:05 PM