While the subject of today’s Weird Teacher Watch may share the pervy predilections of the great Greek thinker with whom he shares his name, that’s where the similarities end. In fact, John Socrates’s recent run-in with the law proves that he may not even be as smart as the second graders he teaches…
On Saturday morning, 47-year-old Socrates rose early and headed out of his New Jersey home, not for a morning jog, but something equally invigorating…though a lot less tasteful.
The Jackson Elementary School teacher got in his car and drove to a rest area on the Garden State Parkway, where he parked his car and proceeded to masturbate near the men’s restroom for everyone to see.
It was 9 a.m. when police were surveilling the area and caught Socrates mid-masturbation. Of course, he was promptly arrested and charged with lewd behavior. When police checked his car, they also found marijuana, adding a drug charge to his tally.
Why Socrates thought it a good idea to jack off in public on a Saturday morning, we can’t really say, hence the “Weird” in “Weird Teacher Watch.” Hey, at least we got to write a sentence like: “Why Socrates thought it a good idea to jack off in public…” For that, we are eternally grateful.
What we do know is that Socrates will likely be waving good-bye to his job as a second-grade teacher at Howard Johnson Elementary School, where he’s been teaching for the past six years.