Matthew Brace Tries to Trade Baby Daughter for Beer at Convenience Store



​Matthew Brace is widely regarded as the biggest piece of shit in Northampton, Massachusetts. Here’s why: He was standing outside a Pride Station yesterday with his 3-month-old daughter, waiting for his girlfriend to do some shopping…

He badly wanted to drink some delicious American brewskies, but seeing as how he’s a welfare queen, he couldn’t afford to buy them. That’s when he noticed a maintenance man working nearby.

So he approached the man and put the baby and her stroller in his truck. “For two 40s, you can have her,” he said, according to WWLP-TV. The maintenance guy didn’t think this was a favorable transaction, however. So he called the cops.

Police would later track the family values couple to a nearby Econo Lodge, where they were staying. The mother, Wendy Arsenault, wasn’t charged, since she apparently knew nothing of her shitbag boyfriend’s bartering interests. But Brace was charged with child endangerment.

Mysteriously, his arraignment hearing had to be postponed because he’s now in the hospital. We’re not sure if his woman lit him up, or the cops decided to forcefully provide him with some parenting knowledge.

But be he felled by man, woman or illness, we just wish to offer our heartfelt gratitude to whoever did it.

See our last episode of Shitty Dads: Michael McDougall Kills Pregnant Wife, Says ‘She Had It Coming.’