Andrew Young & James Miller, Morons of the Day: Badly Injured Toddler in Pro Wrestling Demonstration

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Andrew
Young and James Miller were goobered out with excitement about the big pro wrestling show coming to Charleston, West Virginia last week. So pumped were they that they decided to practice their own moves a few days before… on a two-year-old girl…


With the toddler’s mother watching on, our rubbery heroes put her in choke holds and slammed her about mom’s apartment. The goobers thought the girl was having fun, and even believed that she too was a big wrestling fan.

Alas, the next day the girl wasn’t doing so good. It seems she had a fractured leg and numerous bruises, so her mom took her to the hospital. In retrospect, she figured that it wasn’t a good idea to allow rubes to “choke slam” a 2-year-old. So she came up with another story for the toddler’s injuries.

Yet doctors found that her new story was inconsistent with the girl’s injuries, so they called police. That’s when mom confessed to the ill-advised wrestling demonstration.

Young and Miller were arrested. But since they’re huge idiots, they were actually delighted by the attention. “Love you maw maw,” Young yelled from the back of a squad while being arrested. “I’m famous!”

Our mopes believed they’d be able to bail themselves out in time to see themselves on TV and still make it to the match, where they’d look longingly with secret homosexual desire upon the oiled men built by exotic chemicals.

But since they were both charged with felony child neglect, a magistrate hit them with $100,000 bonds. Needless to say, they didn’t have that kind of jack, and remain in jail. The child’s mother may also be hit with neglect charges.

See our last episode of Moron of the Day: Man Offers to Swap Weed for iPad in Craigslist Ad (And Includes Photo of the Weed).

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