Fugitive Watch: Bianca Ormsby Defends Kidnapping Her Daughter, Fleeing The Country

• I'm a parent and step parent who manages a custody agreement between NZ and the USA. I'm familiar with the court systems in both countries. I think I can say with some authority that issues of child welfare are acted on with greater rigor in the US courts than in the NZ courts. The NZ court and child welfare system is simply too overburdened to act on anything but the most aggregious of circumstances. Comparatively speaking, US parents can bring much more to the courts attention--including issues of neglect etc and these are usually followed up. I think it quite likely that if either parent in this case had concerns they would be able to bring such matters to the US court. I simply can't see that Bianca would have legitimate cause to run. I understand the difficulties of living without day-to-day contact with your child, but I must stress that anyone adult enough to consentually have a child with someone MUST deal with the consequences of that decision, including the possibility that they will have to coparent while no longer in a relationship with the other parent. It seems to me that Bianca did not have the maturity to follow through on her choices in a responsible matter. In running, she has severly limited her future options. More importantly, she has left her child without a mother. If Bianca loves her daughter as she claims--she needs to go back to the US, face the consequences and then try to rebuild a relationship with her daughter. As an aside, I should also say that it pains me to see parents run with their children in international cases - because in effect it makes it harder for everyone else that is in a dual nationality situation. It can be extremely difficult to come to successful agreements that involve more than one country precisely because a small percentage of parents do flaut the system and run. I am a mother, I'm from NZ, I live in the US and I'm also of the same cultural group as Bianca - and I'd like to say to her family that they need not be using culture and motherhood as legitmations for what she has done (as per recent article in NZ Herald). It simply can not be justified. That whole family needs to deal with the business of supporting their daughter to heal so that she has some chance of mothering that child in the future and sharing her culture with her--I think both are critically important for the baby's sense of identity--but not a justification for running on their own. Let me be clear that my heart goes out to all in this situation--including Bianca. She is very young and she has made a dreadful error of judgement--but it is something that she can recover from. I hope that time will heal this situation for everyone.

• 'verb (kidnaps, kidnapping, kidnapped; US also kidnaps, kidnaping, kidnaped) [with object] * abduct (someone) and hold them captive, typically to obtain a ransom. (http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/kidnap) Pronunciation:/əbˈdʌkʃn/ noun [mass noun] * 1 the action of forcibly taking someone away against their will:they organized the abduction of Mr Cordes on his way to the airport[count noun] :abductions by armed men in plain clothes * (in legal use) the illegal removal of a child from its parents or guardians. ' (http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/abduction) How can a mother kidnap her own child? I am not a lawyer but I am a mother. I know there is a gulf of difference between many mothers. I am also a New Zealander. Perhaps Bianca just wanted to take her little girl home and the US law wouldn't let her. So she did what she did (wrongly) and now Sydney will be the one who may have to pay the price for the rest of her life... Now that is injustice and perhaps could even be considered kidnapping (by the US legal system).

• Let me guess, Patricia, the source of this info is Bianca. You know what I want to know, though? Bianca has been telling everyone that Adam is a liar, abusive, manipulative and a danger to her child. Do you believe this is true? I highly doubt that. Then WHY in the world would you swallow ANY story Bianca has fed someone? You want to know what I think? I think Bianca is a liar. That opinion is based on what you and others have said and what I know about her real situation between her parents. It also makes me question all these stories she's telling people about Adam. My feelings toward Bianca and Adam are beside the point, however. I only responded to you in the first place to set straight something I KNOW to be true and that has to do with Bianca's parents and their actions/feelings toward this whole fiasco. Take it or leave. Believe it or not. I've said what I wanted to say. You and others can come to your own conclusion, however illogical and biased they may be.

• Patricia: Thanks. When they say "what doesn't kill you (or turn you into a weirdo) makes you stronger", they aren't kidding. I'm thankful for my experiences- even the terrible ones- because they helped shape me into the woman I am today. But, while I would never exchange my childhood for that of someone else, I would never wish my childhood upon another. I only hope that I can use my personal experience to help others and to make the right choices for my own children, should I choose to have any.

• Angela, Biancas' straight-laced, honest parents, who love and trust their daughter, threw her out of the house when she got pregnant! They only let her have a bag of clothes! No car, phone, or anything! I also heard that this was not the first time they did this to her. Sounds like a severe type of punishment. They were surprised and embarrassed? First of all this was not the first time she made poor choices, no surprise there. And second this is not about them and their embarrassment. Its about their daughter, whom they should have helped and taken care of to begin with. She didnt work, so who do you think bought the tickets? And on the topic of talking about the other parent. It doesn't do any good. Let the child grow up without their parents opinions. They will make their own one day, and will respect the parent(s) who do not badmouth the other. My friend is divorced and never talks about her ex in front of or to, her kids who are 10 and 12. ccccc, sorry about what happened to you. Your story is very sad. I,for one,am praying for all of them.

• @ccccc That is a horrible thing to experience as a child. I can only imagine how difficult that was for you and your sister. I think Child Custody is a stressful and messy enough of a situation already, that no child needs to be put in that if at all possible. Although I wish I could protect my daughter from her mother, I would never want her to chose between her mother or I. Although I only petitioned the Courts initially for what my daughter wanted, we both got far less than either of us had hoped for. After both the Courts and Children Protective Services failed us (the Police, on the other hand have been incredibly sympathetic and helpful, to the best that they can), it got to the point where my daughter was resolved to just "tough it out" until she felt empowered enough to ask the Court for what she wants instead of what her parents want or what the Judge thinks is best for her. She has already decided that she wants to have Visitation with her mother every other weekend, and although even that bothers me considering the history of physical abuse, I respect my daughter's decision and will stand by her decision and support it. I am my daughter's custodian, in a moral sense. Whether I have full or joint or shared physical Custody has no bearing upon whether I care for her and help her grow into a strong, independent person who is capable of making decisions for herself and is responsible enough to accept the outcome of those decisions, for better or for worse. I wonder what Moses would do if he were hearing our Custody Case and said he was going to cut the child in half, only to have me reply "You might want to take her opinion on that under advisement first." ;)

• I've been perusing the commentary here and had to comment on 1 thing: Having your child testify in court as to whom they want to live with. Before I begin with my personal anecdote, let me say that I realize this doesn't necessarily speak to Mark's circumstance. When I was a child, my parents fought bitterly over custody of my sister and I, and my mom won. She did let our dad have us every weekend, and anytime other time he wanted. Since I can remember, every weekend at his house, he would tell my sister and I that, when we turned 13, we needed to go to court and tell the judge that we wanted to live with him. I loved both of my parents so much and I didn't want to let either of them down. I can't possibly express to you the pressure I felt because of my father's constant request that my sister and I do this. Frankly, it was mentally abusive. I still remember that awful courtroom scene with clarity. My mom was bawling. I spoke first- said I wanted to live with my dad. My poor younger sister spoke second. She could barley talk. Between tears, she managed to choke out that she wanted to go where I went. When I was old enough to realize how I had been played in my dad's war on my mom, I hated him. For years. I can tolerate him now that I can recognize that he isn't emotionally well-equipped. I just don't think he knows better. However, I will always resent what I was I put through, and what I was forced to put my mother through. Kids will say anything to make their parents happy- that they love you the most, that they want to live with you, etc. I do not recommend putting them in this position- ever. Parents should never even discuss the other parent to the child. It's beyond wrong. If there is clear-cut abuse, build your case and take it to the courts. Leave the kids out of it.

• Patricia - Her parents didn't send her away. Like you, I know Bianca and her family. Do you know her parents at all? They are the most straight laced, honest people I've ever known. Obviously they haven't been happy with Bianca's choices - including her relationship with Adam - but they can only love and trust their daughter. They would never ship her away like unwanted trash. I also know for a fact (not just my opinion) that this entire ordeal has come as a total surprise and embarrassment to them. To imply anything else is tacky, spiteful and totally uniformed. This is a complicated and delicate situation. It doesn't need people mucking things up with gossip.

• I knew Bianca a few years ago, she defiantly had strange behavioral habits... Even for a teen. I had heard that she had fell pregnant to someone, and also heard that he was abusive. Running away with the child may not have been the right choice! But she obviously felt threatened, to flee half way around the globe.

• I know both parties, The baby was trying to pull herself up to stand at a doorway, slipped and bumped her head. Child Protective Services were called (by mother or her family) and the father cleared. She was uncooperative with the shared custody court order, denied the father visitation, moved around from one friends home to anothers, attempted suicide and left the country. Her parents have alot of money and they are New Zealand citizens. They were tired of her living here near them so they sent her away. Just my opinion. I believe the truth will come out after everyone relizes how many times her stories will change and she contridicts herself. hitshome: I am so very sorry for you and pray that she is returned to you. It is so sad that people believe pathological liers. God Bless.

• I have to say running isn't the answer-this woman should come back and get things sorted out. Hey HitsHome-I am sorry for what you're going through. I'd not handle it so well if in your shoes. Gentle Breezes to you...

• I'm so sorry, HitsHome. My heart breaks for you.

• I know firsthand how this feels. My ex-husband took my daughter to Amman, Jordan last July. It has almost been one year since I have seen her. He has put me through hell and it's hard to continue living day to day. He alleged child abuse when we first separated saying I had spanked my daughter and left a bad bruise on my daughter's bottom. My daughter' daycare had investigated since he also alleged it to them and there was no bruising on her bottom. I don't know what would have happened if they wouldn't have investigated. It would be my word against his! I was at the pool with my daughter one day and had a police officer come and question me. My daughter and I were laughing and playing at the time he walked up. My ex-husband had called the police saying that I was beating my daughter while we were talking on the phone. He's nothing more than a scorned man. God forbid I leave an Arab man! He's gotta make me pay. I have a Facebook page for BringSaxonHome and he even posted on there that he's withholding her until I remove his criminal charges. I am fighting tooth and nail to get my daughter back. The FBI, American Embassy, and Department of State are no help. This woman who has kidnapped her child is nothing more than a scorned woman who is using the child to get back at the father. Trust me, I know! For all of these people who take the child from the other parent and that parent is nothing but good to that child, shame on you. Your day will come! Your judgment day will come and I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when it does.

• DebG, I have also taken my nephew to the emergency room for a head wound! He tripped and banged his forehead on the corner of a coffee table. It turned out to be very minor, just needed a band-aid but head wounds DO bleed a lot! My own 16 month old is starting to do the super-fast crawl, and his hands have slipped a couple of times, and he's banged his chin and his forehead. Little kids get hurt sometimes; I don't think one trip to the emergency room is necessarily an indicator of abuse.

• I haven't read the background of this story - why New Zealand?? Is she from there or have family/friends there?? But, I don't buy her story at all. What exactly was the treatment for this child's injury?? Stitches required? Major trauma?? Or just a small gash?? I also am a mother, and I can tell you I have rushed my son, when he was a toddler, to the emergency room a couple of times. One of those times was - you guessed it - for a head injury from a fall, and I can tell you that a small gash to the head bleeds A LOT - was not a serious head wound at all, only bandaged it.

• I haven't read the background of this story - why New Zealand?? Is she from there or have family/friends there?? But, I don't buy her story at all. What exactly was the treatment for this child's injury?? Stitches required? Major trauma?? Or just a small gash?? I also am a mother, and I can tell you I have rushed my son, when he was a toddler, to the emergency room a couple of times. One of those times was - you guessed it - for a head injury from a fall, and I can tell you that a small gash to the head bleeds A LOT - was not a serious head wound at all, only bandaged it.

• Mark, I have been reading your comments and my heart goes out to you and your daughter. 20 years ago I filed for divorce, because my husband of 10 years was having an affair. I left him on a Wed. and he was served on Monday Morning. Our daughter was 5 years old at the time. I walked out of the Court room 6 months later with a broken down Volkswagen, no job, no education, no place to go, I did not get any of our business, I got custody of our 5 year old child and $470.00 a month in child support. For a little over four years that man took me into court 28 times. I had an attorney 2 times out of the 28 times. He took me into court from everything to child abuse to asking the court to annul our marriage because he never considered our marriage to be long term relationship. After the first Court date with my attorney an $12,000 dollars later, I decided to go Pro-per. I went to the law library, I researched court cases in my state and I went to court cases to see what to look for. I went from $470.00 A month in child support to $1000.00, Baby-sitting until my daughter was 15 years old, he paid for medical that I never used @$347.00 a month, plus half of all my daughters expenses for school, dentist, horseback riding lessons and any thing else I could think of to put in the court orders. What I am trying to say to you is fight for your daughter. Do your own research, don't rely on an attorney to get the job done. Their in it for the money, Your Heart is in it for your life and your daughters life. Never take no for an answer, always look over your shoulder document everything. Regardless to how insignificant you may think it is. If your ex-wife is hiring attorneys to go to court, she will run out of money sooner or later. If your do your homework, you will not always need an attorney. "Food for thought." I Hope that You and Your Daughter are reunited very soon.

• Kids fall and get bumped. It's the nature of being a kid. I was a heavily bruised kid. My mother used to fear taking me to the doctor, worried that they would think the worst. The fact was, I was a normal boy, and did boy things, that got me pretty bruised up on a regular basis. I think this lady is just using a convenient "happenstance" in order to "exert control" on a situation that she has no control over. She had a choice whether or not to put this guys sperm in her uterus. She needs to grow up and live with her choices. The court is the authority in this situation, and she's got to get with the program, or suffer the consequences.

• @ Mark: i'm so sorry man. i hope you can get custody. is there any way you could get another hearing before she turns 13? whether you're religious or not i'll pray for you.

• Jamie - you are wrong re statement on previous parental abduction case (Dr Morgan)....the daughter has Never said her mother made her say these things....and she still has nothing to do with her father...in fact in a recent 60 Minutes interview she reiterated that her father HAD sexually abused her and her mother did the right thing. I would assume that the FBI need to apply to the NZ Court system to get the women and child extradited back to the US......

• Same old story. I am surprised she is not accusing him of rapimg the poor child. Accident sometimes do happen. I remember the Doctor couple that were having a similar problem, Mother fled to New Zealand, (She was American) where she was granted residency and the citizenship. Her daughter ids now an adult, and has publicly stated, that her mother made her say the things (Rape Allegations, but no physical proof). And did the Kiwis do anything? No, the called the case closed.

• Terry Carter, unfortunately although the first Judge who heard our case didn't fall for her excuses for her physical abuse of my daughter, her lawyer got the case heard by a different judge before a final ruling who just rubber-stamped the same generic "Joint Custody". It has been a grueling 6 years since while Child Protective Custody refuses to get involved any further than making her take mandatory Anger Management Classes every time there is physical abuse, and even with the testimony of the Police about the abuse, the Courts won't provide a Protective Custody Order. Thankfully, every time abuse happens, blogging about it to 50,000+ readers is enough to keep her mother behaving for another 6 months before she hurts my daughter again. My daughter just counts the days until she is old enough that she can testify on her own behalf before a Judge (age 13 in my State), even though her mother has spent the last two years trying to get my daughter declared "Emotionally Disabled" to prevent my daughter from providing testimony against her.

• Dammit people! I'm trying to be inconspicuous here...

• If she comes back to the US then she'll be through in jail....so in her defense, she's not going anywhere but in his, sorry man. Thats about all anyone can say or do....

• Kind of reminds me of the David Goldman case, where his Brazilian wife went on "vacation" with their little boy to her native Brazil, and then just flat out refused to come home. To make it worse, the wife died in childbirth in Brazil, and her new husband took the little boy, and her family helped him kidnap Sean. It took a few long years, but David FINALLY got his son back from his ex's family. What a nightmare for any parent, mother or father, to have to go through.

• that's crazy Mark. i assume you have sole custody, please tell me i'm right. i'm inclined that dad is right. she seems...unstable. i'm not sure what makes me think that. anyway, that's if i'm a good judge of character. i hope baby is not too traumatized now or later in life. -zane

• I ask this simple question: How would this play out if the roles were reversed and it was the father who fled the country with his child to protect them from a potentially abusive or negligent mother? I can assure you that the Dept. of Justice would have had the Dept. of State put pressure on New Zealand for an immediate deportation of the father, and if New Zealand refused, they would have "unofficially" sent in Marines with the other parent to "extract" the child and return them to the U.S. When I went through my Custody Battle for my daughter, my abusive ex got an injunction to have my passport withheld because I was considered a "flight risk" being multi-lingual and having an in-demand skillset abroad. The only thing preventing me from fleeing anyway with my daughter, to protect her from her mother's abuse, was knowing that the Dept. of Justice and the Dept. of State wouldn't have cared what my reasonings were, and would have turned my daughter over to her mother even if I fled to a Non-Extradition Treaty Nation. In the end, the best ally you have is the Court system. If you take the law into your own hands, then you have to face the consequences. She deserves the same treatment that a male would have gotten in her shoes. She has lost all hope of Child Custody and rightly so...even if there is question as to whether the father is potentially negligent or abusive.

• I want to make clear I am NOT shittin' on dad's... but rather a possible: way-to-the-F-shitty parent.... male OR female

• What are the extradition laws with New Zealand? She broke the law, and the Dad has been cleared. She is the felon, not him. Sure I am biased because I am a man. But too many times women use their kids to get even with Dad. I would be pushing the government of New Zealand to honor our request and return the child promptly to the U.S.

• I AM a mother, my child has sustained injuries. But not to the point of hospitalization. NOT that if child does- parent is fallible. But "rushed to the hospital with a head injury"... "Simply fell"? For a person to give up ENTIRE life and move.....I am inclined to trust her judgement... or else she is quite clever

• It definitely wasn't a "no other way out" type of situation. They weren't even living together and the only contact they had was when exchanging the baby. If it was out of fear for the child because of the one incident with the head injury, of course that is serious, but it was only one time and most likely and accident. One injury doesn't justify fleeing the country and never letting the father see the baby again.

• This is a tough one. As a mother, I can empathize with going to any lengths to protect my child from an abuser. However, my brother's wife pulled the same stunt and kidnapped their two children, aged 6mons and 2 (at the time). She made the same claim (though the 2 yr old suffered a head injury in HER care, no one else's) and other outrageous claims that were investigated and dismissed. Thankfully, one of her "friends" tipped my brother off that his estranged wife was on a plane heading across the country while he sat at a park and waited for their arranged custody exchange. The police were called and she was detained at one of her connecting cities and ordered to return to the province with the kids. Mother of the Year has since grown tired of the eldest child, since he talks and can't just be thrown into a car seat all day, so she literally dropped him off on my doorstep with all his belongings, baby book, and documents and took off. It's been almost a year, and she's seen him once since then and doesn't call to check up on him. She attempted to kidnap the baby girl again, but realized she doesn't get court-ordered money when on the lam, so she returned and they worked out some kind of custody agreement. She doesn't want the little boy anymore, claiming he's been "tainted" from living with me (where she dumped him without a second thought!!) and doesn't love her anymore (sometimes I wish he didn't, but he's an angel and doesn't understand that his mommy is a sack of crap). Oh, and she has no contact with her now 3 year old. So... long story short... I understand the pain of a mother worried for her baby, and I also understand the agony of a father that is missing his child. Without proof of abuse, I tend to believe this is a kidnapping, and that woman needs to sort out custody the proper way, and her government needs to stop sheltering a kidnapper.

• Bottom line - She needs to return to the U.S. and work this out. If there was an issue of concern, visitations can be supervised, other solutions can be put into place. I've read both sides of this case; This seems to be an issue between "Mom" and "Dad" and the child is stuck in the middle. Running away with the child to the other side of the globe is not helping her case --because this does not seem to be a case of "no other way out." Even though this child was concieved out of wedlock, it appears the dad has tried to step up and do the right thing and be a "Dad." That's rare these days. I'm hoping they can work it out and the child can know both parents.

• Sure, all too many times, women really do have to do such things to get their children away from truly abusive husbands. But just as many times, there really is no abuse and the woman simply makes it up just to try to cover up her own illegal actions of kidnapping, because she knows she's probably about to lose custody anyway. It could be a typical "he said, she said", but the only thing "she said" is one minor incident that he was completely cleared of. So, looking at the only "evidence" available to us, she isn't looking too rosy.

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