John Joe Gray, Moron of the Day: A Would-Be Terrorist’s 10-Year Standoff with Texas Cops



​John Joe Gray is a militia nutbag who lives outside Trinidad, Texas. In 1999, he was pulled over for speeding. Not only did troopers find lots of high-powered rifles; they also found plans to blow up a Dallas bridge…

A sign outside his compound offers a glimpse of Gray’s nutty views

​But when police removed him from the car, he tried to grab a trooper’s gun and bit him in the hand. The Texas militia movement, it seemed, had gone very dainty if one of its leaders had to resort to biting.

But despite indications that he was a terrorist, a judge let Gray out on bail. That’s when he retreated to his fenced, 47-acre compound with family and fellow militia jerkoffs. He sent a letter to prosecutors saying that if they wanted to come and get him, they “better bring
plenty of body bags.” He’s been waiting for police ever since.

The cops, wary of another Waco, have declined to get him over the past 10 years. They say the bloodshed to police and children living there just isn’t worth it. Most of Gray’s fellow militia nuts have left, but he remains on his property with an undisclosed number of relatives. They’ve lived without water or electricity, growing their own food and sleeping in a shack and a trailer.

The sheriff’s department says it will arrest Gray if her ever leaves the property, but he hasn’t since 2000. Even Chuck Norris, conservative activist and fake Texas Ranger, has tried to negotiate his surrender. Nothing has worked.

Gray apparently believes that government has usurped the word of God, but his views are so nutty they’re hard to understand. For example, he claims he’s being persecuted because he knows about a government-run drug manufacturing facility near his property.

But the saddest part of the case involves Keith Tarkington, who used to be married to Gray’s daughter. In 1999, he filed for divorce because he didn’t want his two sons being raised around Gray. But his wife never showed up for the hearings, and she’s believed to have taken the boys to her dad’s compound. Tarkington hasn’t seen his sons in 10 years.

See yesterday’s episode of Moron of the Day: 16-Year-Old Girl Stabs Rival to Death; Both Had Babies by the Same Man.