Abbi Obermiller Disappearance: Robert Young Ordered to Keep Clear of Her for 2 Years

• Wow, I was reading all the posts and mishi is so rational and logical and so right.

• sometimes all it takes for someone to realize that their parents were right all along is an extended period of time getting exactly what they thought they wanted.

• It wasn't against her will - but it wasn't right either. I find it interesting she was okay with not seeing Mr Young afterward, maybe life with him wasn't what she thought it would be?

• yeah I read an article with that quote in there: @http://www.norwalkreflector.com/articles/2010/07/02/front/iq_1016813.txt "He has lost his job. We don't feel any ill will toward the boy," she said. "He was controlling, but never physically violent with her," the mother said. Even the parents think the 2 morons got together and decided to take off and attempt to get married. I ran away from home when I was a kid it was horrible having to hide all the time and fend for myself. I can understand her being happy to be home. - Just because she's now happy to be home doesn't mean she was being held against her will. She's probably dealt with a lot of crap the last few days being in a juvenile center as well. Obviously the police believe she was not held against her will. She's being charged as well.

• hey mishi-I found some interesting stuff on this... "He was controlling, but never physically violent with her," the mother said. Jim Obermiller was very relieved to know his daughter is OK and hugged her as soon as he saw her after she was taken into custody. "She was glad to see us. She told her mother she was ready to go home," he said. "I'm fine with not seeing Bobby. I just want to go home," Obermiller told Cardwell as she started crying. "You can put me on house arrest. I just want to go home."

• First of all I don't know if we are reading different stories but I have not seen one thing that said they found her drugged out hiding in the attic infact nothing has been mentioned about drugs period. If I have missed something please enlighten me. Second: I have been posting on this site for a few months now, well before the girl even took off so please don't ignorantly state that I could be this dumb asses mother. Or a teenager for that matter - infact maybe the problem is I remember a little more easily than some, how I was as a 17 year old girl. I didn't become an adult and automatically forget the mistakes we make when we are young. I will reiterate one more time for you. What I have stated is just a theory don't know the kid personally and I have no first hand knowledge of what went down. Sorry that I pay attention to what I am reading and provide my statement based on the info that is provided to me by this site and others. No where at all does it state that there is any evidence that the guy was controlling other than what HER parents (again the people who love and protect her) have put out there. And the only charges this kid has seen are the obstruction charges he was given so I'm not even seeing anything on his record that would make me think drugs. Where did that even come from?

• @Cristie I didn't say he was protecting her from her parents... All I said was, he should be held responsible for lying to police but that is it. No where has it been posted that she was kidnapped. She ran away for whatever reason she ran away... And I have put myself in her parents shoes.. My wife (gf at the time) was 20 years old and I was 26 at the time when we were dating. Her parents (well her father) were controlling and tried to keep us apart at every step (cultural differences). The day I proposed she wanted to get on a flight to Vegas, so we wouldn't have to deal with them. We have been married 7 years now and I still don't talk to her parents. I won't even say hello when I go pick up our 3 year old daughter from an evening at their house. My wife and I promised we would teach our daughter morals but not raise her in an environment where she feels she can't confide in us.

• agreed Leah-sounds like a teenager talking doesn't it?

• Definitely can't blame you for thinking father Pete.

• I hear you, Mishi. I think that just as a father of three daughters, I'm inclined to want to beat the punk first and ask questions later, but you could be right on all counts.

• For being a "straight A" student, she isn't very smart. All this BS could have been avoided if they would have had kept their hormones at bay until she turned 18. Chances of them succeeding as a couple are very slim anyway. He's a liar and lacks a conscience for letting her parents worry for 3 weeks. Does she think he will never lie to her? If hindsight wasn't 20/20......

• Of course this is only a theory. I could be completely wrong and he could be a useless controlling bastard on the verge of physically abusing her.

• @ Pete: I am not saying that I think the parents have done anything wrong. I completely believe these kids are in the wrong for everything that has gone down. But we need to remember that we are talking about a 17 year old girl here who very well could be in love for the first time in her life (or atleast thinks she is) A 20 year old guy is done w/ school and has the time to be out and about and in order to show that she could be his girlfriend she may have let her schooling slip in order to be out and about along side him. All I am saying is her parents who protect her and want what is best and only what is best for her can easily jump to the conclusion that their baby girl is obviously being controlled by her boyfriend because there is no way she would throw away her future. When in reality she is being controlled solely by her heart.

• Not like that order means shit come November.

• I'd be inclined to trust the parents on this one, Mishi. The girl is a straight-A student involved in a lot of activities, so they must be doing something right. And who wants their 17-year-old daughter to run off with some 20-year-old. I know if this happened to one of my daughters, the boy would have to take a serious ass-beating. Those are the sainted rules on these matters.

• The difference is, her parents are legally capable of being "controlling". Of course they can't be abusive, but they can certainly be controlling. If there was abuse involved on the part of the girl's parents, I think it would have it the media by now. Had she been 18 at the time of this situation, no crime would have been committed. All this couple had to do is wait 5 more months to be together. If he had been protecting her from her parents, there are other avenues this man could have used to in order to help his girlfriend. I don't advocate "killing the POS", but for a moment, put yourself in her parents shoes. With all the new articles about missing girls and women being found brutally raped and murdered, can you imagine what this poor family went through for three weeks, while this man stonewalled the police? That had to be torture. Now, I think the point we're all missing is, how much of this situation is the responsibility of the 17 year old girl? She put her parents through hell when a simple phone call from a public or even a prepaid cell phone could have put to rest their concerns. The only way this could NOT be partly her responsibility is if the boyfriend did not allow her to do so. In my opinion, the people to feel sorry for in this situation are the parents. They have a selfish, spoiled daughter who's knee deep in a relationship with at the very least an idiot, if not a controlling/abusive jerk. Good Luck, Obermillers, you're going to need it.

• What if her parents were the controlling ones and she wanted to get away from them?????? My wifes parents were so controlling that she wanted to fly to Vegas to get married so her parents wouldn't interfere... She was 20 at the time.... Obviously lying to the police was stupid, but I don't see anything about her being tied up and gagged... She could of at anytime picked up the phone and called her parents... She ran away plain and simple and asked her boyfriend to cover for her... Aside from wasting the cops time, this doesn't seem to warrant "killing the POS" Some of you jump to conclusions way to quickly...

• alexa and leah-I'm there...

• I'm not arguing that the kid isn't a moron for lying to the police and basically the general public about the girls disappearance/well-being. I'm just saying I'm not seeing any evidence showing that he has been abusive and controlling short of the parents word. He really could just be a dumb kid who was making a very ill-advised attempt to protect his girlfriend.

• Well Mishi, you are right except for the fact that we do know that he has a disregard for authority and the general well-being of others because he straight-up lied to police for 3 weeks while they searched for this "missing" girl and her parents sat on pins and needles not knowing if their daughter was dead or alive. So, he may not necessarily be a controlling or abusive guy, but he's certainly an inconsiderate douche-bag (granted that seems to be the Status Quo for 20 year old man-boys these days). I too think that either he or she will violate the terms of his Probation and the terms of the No-Contact Order (more severe than a Restraining Order...violating a Restraining Order gets you a Show Cause Hearing and either a fine or jail-time whereas a No-Contact Order is a "Go Straight To Jail, Do Not Pass Go" thing that does not require another trial). And, it doesn't matter whether it is he or she that violates it, he'll still be the one to go to jail. So, yes, it will be a matter of time...and I think the Judge knows it. So, whether he is abusive or not, for better or for worse, this is not going to end the way that either Robert or Abbi were hoping it would.

• mishi: It is very unusual for non-controlling or non-abusive boyfriends to hide their girlfriend's whereabouts from the girl's parents (who have not been shown to be abusive, but may be just as controlling as most parents are) and more importantly the police. After all her parents weren't sure if she was dead or alive, which of course also makes her a grade A d@#$%&bag too.

• Leah, I have that fantasy too. *sigh*

• Every abusive relationship I have ever seen has started and ended with the following phrase: "But I LOOOOOVE him!" Good luck Abbi. Hope he really is everything you think he is!

• I just want to point out that the only evidence we have that the guy was anything more than a loving boyfriend is the word of her parents. For all we know her parents are just upset because she isn't following through with the plan they had set out for her. We all know 17 year old girls most of them are led around by their hearts. She met a boy and fell head over heels and started messing up in school. While it is a stupid move it is completely plausible. What parent actually wants to blame their child for such a huge ordeal? Of course they are going to point the finger at him. There is absolutely no evidence that she was held against her will. Infact this kid put himself in the line of fire trying to cover for her, he is the only person who caught charges out of this whole ordeal. So yeah sorry I'm not ready to string this kid up by his ankles yet I think he's a moron who just wanted to be with the girl he loves. Don't see anything abusive in that and I definitely don't see a reason anyone should be talking about killing him.

• I don't know anything about their relationship, whether he is controlling or not, but I don't believe after November her parents will be able to do a darn thing.. I mean she'll be 18. What are they going to do, ground her? I mean in November Senior in HS or not she can actually leave her state and move without her parents consent, what are her parents going to do then, call the police, wake up parents she'll be 18 the police will not get involved. If you ask me her parents are just pushing them closer because of the constant battle to try to keep them apart. Reverse Phsycology 101..

• they won't be able to stop them...

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