Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen
Fugitive Watch: Alex Garcia Wasn't Clean, So He Went to a Laundry
Monday, August 16, 2010 at 10:30 am
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Alex Garcia was looking for someplace to do drugs at 1 a.m. in the morning in Carpentersville, Illinois. So he went to the all-night laundry and locked himself in the bathroom. (Ever have a crackhead in your bathroom? Even Mr. Clean can't get them out.)
If crackheads had a superpower it'd be a maniacal willingness to do anything for the pipe. When cops responded to the laundry's report -- and how slow must it have been for the cops to extricate a crackhead from a laundry bathroom? -- Garcia used his god-given stash box to hide the pipe. (That's why they call it crack.) He swallowed his rocks, maybe thinking they meet later that night for a party in his colon.
They didn't need the jaws of life, but they did have to take the door off its hinges. Apparently, Garcia wasn't aware they could do that because they caught him still in the process of "disposing of drug contraband." (You'd think by the time they'd arrived, sirens blaring, told him to come out, and popped the pins on the door he could've disposed of the stuff, but focus isn't a crackhead's strong point.)
They sent him to Sherman Hospital where x-rays revealed the pipe, and a baggie of crack, which were recovered in a subsequent surgery. (That's why doctors get the big bucks.)
Garcia had a warrant for domestic battery from Hanover Park, Illinois, and a probation violation related to residential robbery in Brevard County Florida. According to the Brevard County police, they're planning on extraditing him, which seems a particularly lousy use of taxpayer money. I wouldn't want to bring him any closer to my state's borders.
Read last Monday's Fugitive Watch: Cody Ledbetter Can Dodge Linemen, But Not The Law.
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