Paul Blankfield Punches Out Dad of Autistic Kid Who Was Being Noisy at Olive Garden

• retarded? do you know what that implies? my son is autistic and No he is not retarded ..he has no intellectual problems...he has developmental delay...like saying that a 6 or 8 month old who hasnt learned to talk or add or read is retarded....he has challenges in his life but hey Einstein had ASD and Bill Gates is Asp and so is many other super intelligent people...or if we go by your standards ...they are retards!

•  the only tragedy in your comment is your absolutely shitty attitude...you might have read on autism but you haven't the slightest clue what it exactly means. Try spending a day with  an autistic child and their family and you'll only be scratching the surface of what it's like... and seriously unless you are willing to walk in someone else's shoes don't tell them how to walk.

• it is one experience in your life ...one supper in your life .... one hour in your life...is that really so much to ask ..when its all he knows in his life.

• i am not surprised when ppl get upset when my child has a breakdown....I get upset too...for him...for what he is going thru...for the anxiety he is feeling...for the stress his body and mind is going thru...would you want to change places with him...?????? didn't think so.

• if you put a "normal" baby in a crib ...don't go out with them ...don't introduce them to strangers, he will never learn how to interact in society. They must have experiences. they learn what they are taught. everyone went thru "stranger anxiety" , "separation anxiety" as babies but we work thru it by experiencing. ASD are the same . they must do things multiple times before they become comfortable with it. please be patient while they try their best.

• angrygramma I will try to keep myself diplomatically correct...you are off your rocker woman. Before you act like you have all the truths to life and the right to impose them on everyone do yourself a favour and educate yourself because ignorance is not bliss it's a tragedy. I am a mother with well behavied children and I worked in restaurants for the majority of my life. I am also a very proud aunty of a non-verbal autistic nephew and know in all honesty what the families need to put up with already without adding ignorance from people like you. As a mom I have compassion for families with children with special needs whether it's a child that needs help because of a wheelchair or a child who needs understanding because they have teds,autism,down syndrome,etc. As a waitress I also feel for them being that often they already restrain themselves from doing alot...as a waitress and a human being I am highly irritated by people who think that just because they are a client they can act like the place is theirs, get over yourselves!!!!! If the baby shower wasn't at your own home where the heck do you get off thinking you had the right to kick them out? You say it was because you where the oldest well that doesn't mean squat in my book, my dad once told me respect is earned-- I guess you never had that taught to you. I don't pity those that are "different" I pity those who choose to remain ignorant. Your brother had every right to be angry and you should count your blessings he didn't burn bridges because in my opinion it would have been well deserved.

• why would I think that my son's handicap would annoy someone? he has autism ....but is a human being first ..deserves respect and understanding from educated, patient ADULTS.

• noisy.....he was expressing in the only language he probably is capable of "speaking". He has autism....not bad behavior!

• 1: 150 children are diagnoised with ASD ...

• BRAT .....we are talking about autism ...get educated! read...ask ....learn....before you judge! how appropriate is your behavior towards a handicapped child...

• autism is not BS it is a developmental disease not a behavioral problem .would you expect a 3 month old to stop crying if you asked him to...or yelled...or threatened a time out?...had he been in a wheel chair or blind, people would understand or at least be patient. How about when these autistic children grow up? their "annoy behavior" will still be there. If they have not had any experience going out they will still act like a child.

• may I ask how many children you have raised?

• couldn't have said it better!

• but, if I don't take my autistic son out like any other child he will not learn how to cope. How to act in public if he is always kept inside. You can only andvance when you are lead. I know it's hard for everyone else, but I can garanty that it is a million times harder on us.

• I hope and pray that you dont or ever will have children...I wonder what kind of "saint" child you were.

• From what I've read of the replies thus far, the FACT is that those of you who do not know about autism REALLY need to study it BEFORE you comment and make a TOTAL A-S-S-H-O-L-E of YOURSELVES ! ! !

• HERE I THINK THERE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHI HAS NO IDEA ABOUT AUTISM OR WHAT ALL IS ASSOCIATED WITH AUTISM OR WHAT WE AS PARENTS GO THROUGH AND DEAL WITH EVERYDAY. BUT WHEN I SEEN THIS CLIPPING I THOUGHT TO MYSELF HOW COULD ANYONE BE SO CRUEL AND RUDE AND HAVE NO SOLE OR DECENCY FOR HIMSELF? I COULDNT BELIEVE THIS SITUATION EVEN HAPPENED.WE AS PARENTS WHO HAVE AUTISTIC CHILDREN HAVE SEEN MANY SITUATION WE CANT CONTROL, SO WE RELY ON THE DECENCY OF OTHER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE GO THROUGH AND WHAT ARE CHILDREN GO THROUGH. TO ALL THE NEGATIVE PEOPLE DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT IT IS OK TO BE THIS WAY AND SAY THINGS OR DO THINGS IN THIS MATTER IT IS WRONG AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE RULES AND LAWS WILL NEVER SIDE ON YOU. ABUSE TO A DISABLED PERSON IS SO FAR HELL TIME AND JAIL TIME. I WOULD NEVER WISH THISA TO HAPPEN TO ME IN PUBLIC FOR I HAVE A CHILD WITH AUTISM ANBD MAKES SOME OF THE SOUNDS I HAVENT EVER HEARD OF IN MY LIFE BUT I TOLERATE THEM BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES ON IN MY CHILDS LIFE

• thats funny my son is autistic and yeah he is loud at times but i wish someone would come up to my son's father and try to punch him.... that idiot would get a rude awakening that FUCKER!!!

• First, I would like to apologize to all of you people for us selfish parents who take out our disabled children in the world. We are extremely selfish. I agree with all of you who have been disturbed by our disabled children who can not control their behavior. What were we thinking to take our children out of the house! We should stay at home with our child and NEVER let our child go out into the world(rolls eyes). Many of us with disabled children are not making excuses when we tell you our child is autistic and can not control their behavior. We are simply asking you to have a little patience and understanding. You don't know how it is like to have a child who is disabled. Many parents like myself never go out EVER! When we do decide to take our children out of the house and into the world. We get many rude comments and stares. Personally, I do not like it when my child screams either and I try many things to calm him down. I don't just sit there and let him continue screaming. My point is the next time you see a child acting out. Maybe you should consider the fact that the child can not control what they are doing and the parents are doing their best to control their child. If you feel you can do better then by all means please take my child for the day and work your miracle. You never know how it truly is until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

• Autistic people are not retarded, physically or even mentally. This doesn't mean they aren't special need, certainly, and I have read enough to know that they are most definitely not easy. However, this is becoming something we're just supposed to "accept" and it isn't just Autistic Kids. It's getting blatantly horrifying what PARENTS are allowing their children do in public. Your CHILD should NOT be screaming in their seats, they should not be spitting and kicking and knocking shit all over the seats, the people at those restaurants work hard to keep everything clean and tidy and when you let your little brats ruin the fabric you embarass yourself and other's of your ire. As it stands I HATE Family restaurants. I LOVE children, don't misunderstand, Autistic or Not and I can put up with a child who's tired or upset, its' understandable they'll be a little messy or loud, Autistic or not, but to allow your child to become the antichrist and doing NOTHING to discipline them is exactly why this Country(world) is going down-hill. And I don't just say that with a thrown grain of salt, YOU are responsible for teaching your child life responsibility, YOU are responsible for teaching them how to behave. Not Teachers, not Counselers, not the Television and certainly not Restaurant Staffers/goers. If you're child is screaming and kicking up a storm, leave, period, NO ONE wants to hear it, there is SOME that can be tolerated but it burns me the hell up when I see parents acting like they don't hear their child screaming and kicking. That said this guys' reaction was asshole-y at best, if he was truly THAT pissed about it he should have gotten up, told the staff he could no longer stand the noise and left. He should have SPOKEN with the Staff because THEY tell management and THEY are the ones' responsible for going over to that particular table and telling the family of that child to quiet down. Autistic children, with all that i've heard are difficult and it is certainly not as easy to teach them the way you teach other children but they are NOT incapable, you can NOT give up on them! That's so much worse for that child. I feel horrible for this child, this behavior has been ALLOWED to happen because the parent isn't willing to take the steps(arduous as they are) to ensure the best possible instruction for their child. If this had been happened properly I wonder(day I say if?) WOULD the parent have left as asked or would he have just flipped the staff off? I doubt it. Then, I'm an asshole who, in the end, even if special needs need to be presented, don't believe in giving anyone special treatment just because and I've continued to believe that is the only way TO treat someone, the way you treat everyone else, if not with a little more patience sometimes.

• I should have read all the comments (i'm lazy) because it really needs to be mentioned that this child wasn't just making "kid noises" it wasn't laughing, with the occasional loud voice situation. This child didn't accidently spill a drink or laugh too loudly a few times. This child was SCREAMING. He was repeatedly screaming. I know, from my own experience as a parent( with 3 children and an autistic child), you can ignore them sometimes, but that wasn't this case. This child was out of control. Read the comments by the other diners, diners who felt sorry for the family, but still couldn't excuse the behavior. The Daddy couldn't handle it, so he did nothing. I have an autistic child, I REALLY understand feeling like a shut-in. REALLY. I'm sorry for the parents who, for whatever reason, don't have a strong support system, (even the goverment will give you relief workers, at least once a month or so) as long as your not so rich you should hire your own) but letting an autistic child act that way in public isn't helping the child (if that's what the trip was about) Every step backward these children take (like not being properly disciplined or distracted when they are out of control)is really like 100 steps backward. Letting him stay there, acting like that jeopardizes his future interactions (especially with Daddy)in public and as an extension, in his life in school and adulthood. Raising an autistic child is the HARDEST thing I have ever done, bar none! If you make a mistake, you're hurting your child unlike how you would if it were a non-autistic child, but I won't let my own laziness thwart his future. It's easier to excuse laziness in a parent with a special needs child, because we have it hard, but it doesn't make it right. Lazy is lazy. That dad was HURTING and regressing his child by staying, unless of course they don't ever control his behavior, then I have no words. Read about how professionals suggest teaching these children life skills. daddy's reaction (or lack there of) hurts the child, and hurts every other parent of a special need's child, because it's situations like this that make people shun autistic families. We can control our children. We can make them as happy and productive as they can be. We can show the world that while we DO need some understanding, we're NOT asking them to endure what we do. Only a parent can and should do that. I love my son to pieces. You'll never know how wonderful he is, but that's ok, I get that priveledge because I put in the hard work. You should be able to take a special needs child out in the world, as long as you're willing to do the right thing when you're there and things go wrong. If you're not, then yeah, YOU need to stay at home. Your child might be able to go out with a responsible adult, but YOU should stay home.

• "Noisy" kids are one thing. Screaming kids are another. The news articles I read stated that other patrons, besides the asshat with the weak punch, said that the other children were "noisy" but that the one with autisim was screaming repeatedly. That's a big difference. I can tolerate "noisy" kids. We all should be able to. But I'd be feeling punchy if a lazy parent allowed their already out of control child to constantly SCREAM in a public place. Even a half-assed parent knows you take your kid out. There was other family there to watch the other kids. Sounds like dear daddy was tired of disciplining his hard to wrangle kid. Bet it wasn't the first time. Guess someone finally told him what they thought about it. Should he gotten hit for it? Er, no, we should at least pretend to be civilized. But if you do you job as a parent, you tend to get punched in the neck less. My autistic child has made a scence in public before (more than one) and we leave. EVERYTIME. I've not gotten punched in the neck yet, just saying

• thing is, kids are not silent puppets. just sitting there. some folks forget that they were most likely a bit noisy as well as a kid. thing is, places like OG, Perkins, Famous Daves are sitdown family restaurants. meaning there are kids there. and I have seen some kids with autism that have BETTER manners than some boorish adults in the same area do. this includes language as well. including one a-hole who had two pre-teen kids with him. and he was pretty much shouting nothing but foul language for at least 20 minutes into a cell phone. while on the metro bus. he could be heard by the whole bus for as loud as he was. trust me, the whole bus sighed a bit of relief when he and those two poor kids got off. come to think on it. he looked like a thinner version of the guy in the above photo

• Gosh, I can't believe this one is still going! Thank you Pete, I try!

• Hey Pete - you are welcome kind sir-no one needs that kind of abuse

• Thanks for the head's up, CW

• Hey Pete-so it seems Joe is a little cranky and totally unprovoked I'd say.

• Holy shit. Some of you people make my writings to Janice in the Jamar Pinkney thread look like those of a girl scout. I'm impressed.

• @alexa kim I honestly don't think anyone needs to worship my child or any other child for that matter. That was definately not the point I was or would make. I just honestly believe that when a person, no matter who they are, goes out in public, they not only need to act responsibly, but be tolerant of others. We all have different personalities, situations, values, etc. that we bring to the public setting. Not everyone is going to act perfectly on ALL occasions, or act like what we think they should. When taking children out, yes as parents it is our responsibility to first, take them to age appropriate places, and secondly to teach them how to act in public, and if they get out of hand, yes remove them from the situation. But there ARE some things that can't be helped, and that's where tolerance, compassion and kindness come to play. On everyone's part. Other things need to be taken into consideration as well, such as if this is a birthday celebration, as was mentioned earlier, then there WILL be noise and that should have been taken care of by management. I have been at restaurants, adults only, and the next thing I see is the entire wait staff almost standing on top of my table so they can sing happy birthday to the adult sitting at the next table. So what? Did it ruin my experience...if it did, then maybe I need to lighten up some. Having a child with special needs is not an excuse for poor behavior in the least. But at the same time, it can be a learning experience for everyone....the family of the child, families of other children, the management, etc. But there is no black and white to say...keep those kids home and never take them out and don't have more. Everyone has the right to walk out of their door and experience life, no matter who they are, or what they look like or how socially developed they are. Everyone should learn to be accepting of others, not to the extent of taking away your rights, but in the sense of being compassionate and trying to understand or get thru the experience. It's not always about me, sometimes it's about them. I'm not saying that everyone needs to compensate for the behavior of a child that legitimately has autism, and for the life of me, I can't imagine just using that term as an excuse. I am saying that that child also has the right to go out in public and learn to be a productive part of society and the only way to learn how to do that, is to go out in public. The public IS harsh as no one wants to deal with it...but the reality is that we are ALL affected by it in one way or another. We can choose to be tolerant and kind or we can choose to be intolerant and unaccepting of others. We can also realize that some ppl no matter what form of education they have are just clueless when it comes to social functions...and that's where management gets paid to make the decisions as to where people sit, and who should move to a more appropriate spot in the restaurant to maintain peace. Maybe family areas and adults only areas would be one way to deal with this, I don't know...and if as an adult you choose to sit by a whole table full of kids, then maybe you need to be reminded that it's not going to be quiet or perfect, and are you ok with that? If not, say so now and move on. And yes, it's always ok to agree to disagree. I think though that even though there has been much discussion, ppl on here are probably more in agreement than they realize. And I think that if in public, ppl on here would handle themselves more responsibly than is being eluded to in some of the posts. Maybe I'm wrong though...who knows....

• What a fun thread. IMO, no one has a RIGHT to screw over other people's public dining experience. I don't care whether it's clueless parents with an overtired baby, parents of an overloaded autistic, a jackass yammering loudly into a cell phone, a drunken frat party, a couple arguing, someone sick and coughing with a massive cold, or some jackass punching someone out. Everyone has RIGHT to be in that restaurant in (relative) peace. If you and yours can't behave like a civilized person, GTFO, I don't care what your excuse is. Dad of autistic was wrong, yes, but the jerkface who hit him was more so.

• DayDreamer, the short answer, because I really don't want to re-re-re-hash the very valid, compassionate, circumspect and thoughtful comments I and others have made already, is if your child is disruptive, by being loud or hyperactive, or whatever, then yes, you keep them home, or take them to Chuck E Cheese, or somewhere else where they are not only free to make any noise they like because they are with other kids doing exactly the same thing, but because they are far away from others wishing to just eat in peace. When the child stops being disruptive, introduce him back into mainstream dining. Jeff, the misbehaving adults you speak of have adult rights and adult money. Thus, you have to cope with them differently. Sandy, after I took the time to read your entire comment, which I request you in the future add more paragraph breaks to, I realized that you either honestly misunderstand those of us with opposing views or you are choosing to misunderstand us because we will not worship your child. Most unfortunate, because we could have reached some sort of rapprochement but it doesn't sound like that is going to happen here by any of us. So, we must agree to disagree and call it square.

• @wldhair you are right. The points I was trying to make, that apparently got everyone REALLY upset, are the same ones you are saying. Tolerance and compassion go a long way to making ppl live, work and play together in society. In order to teach anyone, there must be time, patience and experience. That said, no one on purpose wants to destroy other ppl's enjoyment of activities either, and those should be teaching moments not destructive moments...for any of the parties concerned. I have been told to my face...go take your retarded kid home and don't have any more, no matter whether I was trying to help my child, the situation or the other people who unfortunately had to endure a bit of discomfort because she LAUGHED loudly or disrupted someone else's moment sitting a few rows away, or at another table. The parent is ALWAYS wrong, no matter what they do...ALWAYS, as evidenced on here. I am VERY glad that those people have never had to experience first hand what it is like to have a child with special needs, as they would not be able to handle it. When you hear those words in front of the child who hears those words too, and knows they are directed at them, and you look at your child and love them with all your heart, you have no idea the pain that is caused by that, yet they are not at fault because you shouldn't have taken these kids out in public. You can't hide these kids in a closet and then miraculously let them out at 18 and say...well son/daughter, go out and enjoy the world you know nothing about how to deal with, and if you get killed by people with absolutely no patience, because you bother them....oh well. It'll be my fault as I'd be blamed for not teaching them how to cope in society. Until you are faced with it, as a family member who deals with it 24/7, you have no idea and no room to tell them how to act or what to do. That is unless you enjoy the 911 calls of the woman who killed her autistic children. She apparently should be hailed now as the poster mother for getting rid of those kinds of behaviors in public. Nice! @Daydreamer....according to the posters on this thread in answer to your question...."The kids that do can not control it nor can their parents. Do people believe that those affected so severely should give up their right to be in public and dine out because they can't control the noises? Yes, the noises some make can be loud and disturbing; but, shouldn't they be allowed to go out once in a while too?"....the answer to that is no, as that is putting the other people in a position to be upset and not enjoy their experience while being out and those people should take those kids home NOW and never have another child...EVER. In fact, they should take ALL their kids home and find a way to get rid of them so they won't bother anyone ever again and we can live in a perfect Stepford like world. Just sayin..... It's always easier to hand someone a pair of shoes and say...enjoy the journey, than it is to walk in their shoes and understand how sometimes painful it can be.

• I marvel at the logic on all of these comment boards. It seems the only debate is do special needs kids have a right to disturb morbidly obese psychos or should they eat behind the dumpster. First of all there is no indication that the child was excessively loud or just whiny, keep in mind also the family was gathered for a birthday celebration. Maybe tons of fun just needs a hooker to relieve some of the gravy and carb fueled rage in his walnut sized brain. Second of all I have been more irritated with cackling yentas, drunk/high/stupid teens and loud smack talking sportsfans than children. The issue here is who was more out of control, the child or the "man"?

• @wldhair you are exactly right that autistic children (or any child w/ any disability) can be taught. It just takes people that are dedicated enough to work w/ their child to teach them and a lot of patience. There's really no true way to practice taking them out in public and teaching them w/out actually taking them into the public. There's also no way to predict when an autistic child may experience sensory overload. If a child does show to be having issues w/ sensory overload I would hope any parent would remove the child for the child's sake and others in public. Sensory overload is very very stressful for autistic kids. I just want people to realize that the parents are stressed too. Any good parent would be doing everything they could to calm their child in public or remove them if they are past the point of no return. We ALL should have equal rights to enjoy our lives and going out in public. I would highly recommend the herbal supplement A+ Attention for any child w/ Autism or ADD / ADHD. This stuff has truly been a GOD send for us. It has really helped my son to calm down easier and focus better. DHA, Omega 3, and Calcium supplements also help. I urge all parents to find what works best for your kids. I do have a question for everyone though ... Like it has been stated many times, some autistic children make noises involuntarily (mine doesn't). The kids that do can not control it nor can their parents. Do people believe that those affected so severely should give up their right to be in public and dine out because they can't control the noises? Yes, the noises some make can be loud and disturbing; but, shouldn't they be allowed to go out once in a while too? I will say that most kids like this that I know very rarely have the chance to be in public which makes me very sad.

• @A'Grandma, then Bob's your uncle. ;) @Sky, well, autistics do not have physical indicators of their disability like, say, a Down's Syndrome child. When the boy's father, apparently, didn't make an effort to control his child, and instead, so it seems, simply dismissed the complaining co-diner by announcing his child's disability, and then the co-diner flipped out, that is where both fathers blew it. This entire comment thread long ago morphed into the discussing, or ranting, about the rights of one group of people vs. the rights of another group of people and reconciling the legitimate and real needs and demands of all concerned at a public restaurant.

• Why is it "less offensive" for a grown man who does not admit to mental illness to disrupt a restaurant and cause a fight, than it is for a diagnosed handicapped individual to make a little noise in the restaurant? The child is ill and has little understanding of the situation. That adult belongs in jail. His rude language, inappropriate comments and physical attack disrupted far more people than one child making noise could have.

• No hater! Just got a headache!! Tried to figure it out as if i was talking to a small child!!! Maybe if i was drinking, it would have came to me easier!!!!! But no drinking at work!! But i have seen some funny shit on these posts (all over the place) and i giggle and sometimes outright laugh! Just stupid stuff gets me down and i take that i'm being attacked. so i get "stiff". and event he jokes go "over my head". Otherwise. I have learned different things from multiple people on here. Stuff i didn't know before hand. or stuff that i was ill informed of. Besides in my job, i have to know how to spot a BullS**ter by written words or verbally. I appreciate a lot of learning i get. but i do check everything out later at home. Just in case someone is playing with me. Just wish my words could be more eloquint (?). I speak simple. I write simple. That's the fact, jack!!

• @ Wldhair: I agree. All children, no matter any hanicap can be taught tons of stuff. Unless the child is completely brain damaged, there are just different ways to teach them. and the major key is PATIENCES. Without that, you are running a losing battle already. By getting angry at a child who has ADHD or ADD or Autism or any other illness that causes lack of control (Not bratty kids)of themselves, is actual a few steps back. Saying NO a million times isn't going to do anything to an illtempered child. But saying NO a million times to a challenged child, will make you go crazy (if you can't handle it) but the reward of actually seeing the first time the word NO is understood in this child is well worth it. The worst i have to deal with is ADHD. The 11 yr old can lose it. But screaming or hitting isn't the answer. And he can behave reasonably. the 5 yr old.... Well, gotta express yourself to him a little more (due to his age) to make him understand something (like biting his brother last night for no reason!) But he does come around slowly. So i say Kudos to any parent who has a hanicapped child that is attempting to allow this child to have a semi normal life. But, on the other hand, No child should be allowed to rule the house no matter hanicap or not. And the proof is in the parenting and the behavior. I agree, i have also came to aid of a young mother/family when a child is out of hand. Usually in booth right behind me! so i turn around and talk. Sometimes they just want some attention. And only get it if they are bad. (poor parenting!) And this is true of any child. Any attention is attention no matter how they get it.

• @A'Grandma, LOL, ya' know, it's actually harder to type "drunk speak" than actual English. But it's fun because it takes everybody on a little ride in my verbal clown car and 99/100* of them find it hilarious because they use their imagination to great effect. *Only one commenter, not you, that I know of did not find it fun but I think they are one of my haters, so, whatEVer. Hey, if we always agreed with each other, this wouldn't be nearly so interesting. ;)

• RudeDog! Wow. And i thought my lock down with the nuns were bad!!! K-7 for me. Between SC and MA and VA!!! No military schools for me!! Dad didn't trust them! Then public high school! Shocked this monkey big time! Got laughted at a lot. Always expected a ruler to come swinging at me (just love to get them riled up!!!) But by that point i was so scared straight, ended up gradutating as a jr with early seniors! You know, high honors, bla bla bla, bla, bla! Wouldnt take any certificates i earned or anything. Just wanted my dipolma!! And FREEDOM!! To turn around and go back to school in my 30's!!!! Anyways, nun teachers were the worst i have ever had! And i have had some dozies!!! Even tried it with my son. He made kindergarten. That was it. School asked me to send him to public!! Not to many nun teachers left then. Now, no nuns teach in our Catholic schools up here. All lay teachers. Maybe the nuns are the reason i fumble my words now? ummm Hey now i know who to blame!!!

• Much appreicated to all my "peeps"!!! My biggest problem, besides losing letters or mixing up spelling by the iota (this correct?) of time it takes to get to my fingers/keyboard is i have a talent of writing how i speak! Drove my teachers in college crazy!!! Not a public speaker at all!!! Being in new England for plus side of 30 yrs has not corrected my southern mind. I still catch myself saying stuff such as, y'all; fixin to, yup, folks (relations) ma (hence grandma!!) . I am really Jeff Foxworthy's guide to how to speak in the south! And whenever i go home for visits, it takes weeks (sometimes months!) to get the "hick" accent out of me! Makes people around me laugh all the time. so i have to be very careful how and what i'm writing. Unless it's a family member who will already know my speaking! Up here where i live, we do not have a "bostonian" accent. Only the eastern part does. But my daughter has a strong boston accent! Go figure! When i go visit family in Maine, i have to train my brain to understand/speak/write the way Mainer's speak. Crazy stuff. so if i misspell a word. or don't use a word correctly. I'm fine with someone informing me. Just don't like being attack! and those that do, they know who they are. Sharon: you mean i'm not unique? darn.... thought i could do Riply's or something!!!! lol Alexia.... you really gotta stop drinking so early! you make my head hurt trying to scyper what you are writing!!! LOL We go head to head sometimes, but still think of you as a peep!!!! Same to you Pete. Still waiting for the invite to the bar!!!

• I see both sides. My daughter is autistic and she would throw fits and I nipped them right in the bud. It isn't true you can't teach autistic kids to behave because they can be taught. They aren't brainless. It's the problem people don't bother to learn how to teach them. But, what this guy should have done was go to the management and the manager has the right to enforce that this guy do something about his kid. On another note, I've seen kids have a fit and I've seen the parents exasperated and I've stepped in and engaged the child and was able to calm them down, and the parents were thankful. Let's sometimes remember to be helpful to people.

• @A'Grandma, I know some people attack you for your mad spelling and grammar skillz (see, intentional misspelling can be fun), which can quickly feel like hundreds are attacking. Those of us who appreciate your POV, however, love you anyway and we just make allowances for you. =) What RudeDog was doing was correcting someone, who was making an ignorant observation, and by ignorant I mean they sound as if they did not read the entire comment thread, and then passed judgment on us all with their sweeping comment d'outrage. Sometimes, being the Grammar Police on someone like that is quite fitting. As I've mentioned before, I actually appreciate it when fellow friends (though sometimes, via my enemies too) correct me when I've made a spelling or grammar or word usage error. It stings for a little and then I go educate myself and proceed to do better. Just like when I go out to eat, and I have a blob of spinach in my teeth, my real friends will make faces at me, mime tooth picking, or outright hand me a mirror. I never resent it, I am always relieved. But, I am in a decidedly small minority in that respect. =( *sigh* Oh well..... I used to work with a little old lady from Scotland who spoke Amerian English but wrote the Queen's English. She was awesome. A curmudgeon and penny-pincher with great wit. I miss her, the little terror. I learned fast. My English is pretty good, but her's was a lot better. So all inquiries directed at me about wording were double-checked with her. I've already said all I think I need to say about this specific topic so I'll just say, ibid. ;)

• Worry not, Grandma. The People's English is the official language of the site. Anyone talking the King's English will face severe penalties, such as being looked at askance.

• @ Angry Grandma... "And i lose spelling between brain and fingers" Gosh, I am glad to hear it is not only me that this happens to. LOL

• Maybe Pete or his E techs need to add grammar and spell check to these post so everyone can have perfect comments. I understand that everyone is rattling off on this post. And emotions are all over the board. But still. I myself, am not perfect. And i lose spelling between brain and fingers. and i admit i have had tons of Spelling nazi's on me about it. Doesn't make me dumb. Or stupid. Or anyother word people want to yell at me about. Would be nice to actually see comments based on the story then to see multiple comments about constructions of comments. But that's only in my humble opinion. (see, i didn't use IMHO) like everyone else does. I actually spelled the words. We are not texting here and there are no limits on letters or spaces. How's about we actual spell words instead of text shorthand? Oh well, guess i can be called all kinds of names and be attacked now. Thank you in advance for the abuse!

• Not in her 11:19:03 PM post. First paragraph.

• I HAVE an autistic child, and I myself have wanted to punch him when he acts up. However, I would never subject other people to my son's problems. It's MY problem and I always remove him from any situation where he is causing a disturbance. If that means I have to walk out on a meal and go home, I do! His rights are NO GREATER than anyone else's and in those cases I DO UNTO OTHERS AS I WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO ME: take your screaming kid OUT OF THE RESTAURANT!

• She spelled it grammar.

• Rebecca, I don't think you should go for any kind of humor at all. You're not good at it. And I'm too old for this shit. Since you are evidently super-glued to your high-horse, I'm just going to ask one favor of you before I throw in the towel. Child, when you're taking someone to task over their love of correct grammar, how about spelling the WORD properly? Honey, it's "grammar," not "grammer." You've just defeated your own purpose and are making a damned fool of yourself. Alexa Kim's correct: Consider yourself beclowned. At your own hand. Just stop trying to play with the big kids & go back to your one-syllable words. You are dismissed.

• @RudeDog, dawg, word UP. @Rebecca, you are wrong. Thatisall. G'night!

• I was going to just say "dumb" or "dim" but I thought a play on words would be a little lighter, friendlier, playful, or not mean, since dumb or dim would be an outright insult. I was going for sarcastic humor, especially since the word here is so controversial, but apparently some people are too emotionally attached to this debate. (or maybe too obtuse to understand the humor) I'm wondering if there are traumatic past childhood experiences that have emerged after reading this story, thus provoking such strong, angry banter from a few people? Maybe someone spilled some milk as a child and got beat for it?

• oh, btw.. ob·tuse    /əbˈtus, -ˈtyus/ Show Spelled[uhb-toos, -tyoos] Show IPA –adjective 1. not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect; not sensitive or observant; dull. 2. not sharp, acute, or pointed; blunt in form. So in saying "I hope you're not too obtuse to understand...." would be saying " I hope you're not too dull to understand...". Hm. Terrible grammar indeed!

• @kristin: that's funny, but it seems to me that you're the one that is getting pretty emotional. Also, have you not heard of sarcasm? Why are you getting your panties in such a bunch over grammer? I was using "obtuse" sarcastically. Sorry, I should have used more capslocks and quotations I guess to get my point acrossed. Maybe I should have added a little more passion and emotion to my post... You don't think that everyone else in a restaurant earned their money the hard way? If you get up and punch someone because you can't handle your emotions enough to find a rational solution to your discomfort(seek the manager, pack up and leave, get a different seat on the other side of the restaurant, etc), than yes, you are a problem. Once again, please elaborate on any evidence you find where others in public intentionally are disruptive. Specifically, please, point out where we have any evidence that this man intentionally ignored his disabled son's "noises" and specifically made no attempts at calming his sons "noises". There is a large difference in your posts from most posts on here. Yours are angry and ranting.

• Alexa Kim & Kristin: If I may rise to the very heights of my grammatical skills in responding to your comments: Word.

• @RudeDog - Now, THAT was funny. By the way, I'm a grammar freak myself, so I appreciate your job. Carry on. :) @Rebecca - Wow. I really don't know what to say. Again, your thinking is a prime example of how absolutely twisted and backwards your position is. You're putting the onus on the normal-acting patrons to just put up with outlandish behavior? Unbelievable, really. I'm sitting there, paying MY hard-earned money to have a meal and *I'M* the problem? Are you fucking out of your mind? No one with logical or critical thinking skills could possibly come to that conclusion. Do you not realize that by arriving at your conclusion you are saying that the troublecauser is the unselfish one, and he/she has the RIGHT to act out to the detriment of EVERYONE else in the situation. I don't know about you, but where I come from THAT is the supreme example of SELFISHNESS. My previous posts make my position clear. Unless you can coherently dispute my conclusions with facts and not emotional blather, don't bother to respond. I'm not going to repeat myself.

• Rebecca, you have indeed beclowned yourself.

• Rebecca: Improper use of the word "obtuse," goddamnit. The word doesn't belong anywhere in your post. Your attempt at one-upsmanship fell flat, so go get a dictionary & stop embarrassing yourself in public.

• Kristin- how are you able to tell that a parent/child is deliberately being disruptive? What if someone breathes too loudly, is that being purposefully disruptive? What about someone with COPD who is hacking up a lung in public, is that inappropriate as well, and that person should also be socially restricted? I'm just curious. Do you read minds? I'm not sure how else you would be able to undoubtedly know an other person's true intentions and motivations behind their actions. Please, elaborate on *all* your standards, as truly they sound as though they should be common law. Sounds to me like you generalize, do not understand the human condition, and make many assumptions. I don't want to make any assumptions though, because I'm guessing that there is more behind your passionate feelings on this issue. You know, "to assume makes an ass out of you and me." I hope you're not too obtuse to understand that adage. "Kristin said: @Reality Check - well put. Those of you defending the outrageous behavior are continuing to be obtuse in your arguments. What part of no one denies that your kid has a RIGHT to be in public DO YOU NOT GET? The issue (pay attention here) is that you don't have the RIGHT to materially interfere with OTHERS' enjoyment of the restaurant, movie, etc... while said child is enjoying his RIGHT to be in public."

• Someone wise once said, "you are only in control of your OWN actions, as well as REACTIONS, toward others." A perfect example of the selfish society that Americans live in, to resort to violence because one's dining experience is disrupted. This man had several other options aside from becoming irate because there was a noisy child at his mediocre restaurant. GET OVER IT. Controlling outbursts from a disabled child more often than not IS very difficult. There is no evidence in this story to say whether or not this poor man who got pummeled had attempted to quiet his son, so why are some people here assuming that he just lets his disabled son run rampant in a restaurant and disrupt everyone else. If he is disabled, than surely his parents are to blame for the manifestations of his disability, right? His loud noises are a consequence of lazy parenting, right? Some of you sound so bitter, and I can't help but wonder, why? Oh, yes, that's right, because in America these days, the world revolves solely around "I".

• I dont see why anyone has to put up with someone elses kid, ever. So you squirted out a retard. Bummer for you, not my problem. Keep it quiet. Gag that little bastard if you have to. Theres no shortages of people, ok? You felt the need to have a kid, now take some goddamn responsibilty. As to someone having to show grace to us when we get old. When I get to the pantshitting/diaper wearing stage of life, which is very unlikely the way I smoke and drink, I will eat a bullet. Bang, right through the fucking skull. I will do this happily. :D

• Kristin: Oooofff! "Grammar Nazi" is a little rough but, having been schooled by nuns K-12 along with being a recovering Catholic, I must admit I can't be too offended by ANY hassling I get for needing, in an almost OCD way, to diagram peoples' sentences! So "Grammar Nazi" it is and I am. Yikes...:-)

• This guy is probably trapped in a loveless marriage. Being south Florida he probably has a dead end job somewhere like carnival cruise lines

• Angry Grandma, I am glad to hear that your son and DIL are doing such great things w/ this child. Hearing is very important. My son had to have tubes. After the tubes he really began to improve. He did not speak much either. We began teaching him sign language as well as picture exchange. He did really well w/ them. He is now 4; and, I can't get him to shut up! He can even count to 10 in Spanish and knows his colors and other words (I am teaching him Spanish at home). His days consist of school, therapies, then he comes home to me teaching him Spanish. As long as he wants to learn, I will do what I can to encourage it! Whether your grandson has permanent hearing loss or not, sign language is excellent! It often helps typically developing babies learn to speak much earlier too. Communication issues are very big triggers for tantrums and meltdowns. As far as vaccines, well, I think they are a contributing factor for a lot of autistic kids. Kudos on the parents for making their own decisions. You can always say that vaccines are against your religion. School systems make you think you have to be vaccinated; but, there are ways around it. If I have another child, we will go w/ the delayed vaccination. Socialization is very vital to the process if you can find a good school w/ a good special needs program. Homeschooling is also good if the parents are up for the challenge. I just wanted to point out that there are ways to treat autism and ADD w/out harsh prescriptions or locking the kids away from society. As far as the argument over this article ... people really need to be patient and try to understand that the kid misbehaving at the next table may look normal; but, may still have issues. It's not always "bad parenting". With my son, if I see that he is getting sensory overload I remove him from the situation. It is better for him and everyone else. We recently had a death in the family. I ended up sitting in the car for over an hour during the funeral because it was all too much for my son to deal w/. It would not be fair to interrupt the funeral process of everyone else. Sometimes you have no choice but to have your kids in public. I can't tell you the number of times I waited to the very last minute to go grocery shopping. Pushing along a cart w/ a screaming, tantrum throwing kid is a nightmare. As a parent, you know no one else wants to hear it and you can't think clearly while trying to calm a child having a meltdown. No parent wants to fight a kid through a store; but, as I stated earlier, it is nearly impossible to find a babysitter for an autistic child. Majority of the time we get take out. Even when we go out of town to the dr ... we get it and eat in the car. Yesterday we stopped to eat at a K&W. In the line my son threw himself in the floor and began hitting me because he wasn't getting his way. His granny had to drag him to the table. We planned it to where the lunch rush was over and few people were dining; but, it was still very very stressful. He did calm down once at the table though. Sometimes you just have to take your kids out in public. They have to have an opportunity to learn how to behave in public. It is impossible to predict how they will react because it is different every time. I do discipline my child. I do everything humanly possible to make him behave in public and at home. There are still times things get out of hand. When these kids become older it is much harder to immediately remove them from a store or restaurant if they do not want to leave too. I don't want anyone's pity or special treatment; but, I would greatly appreciate a little patience and understanding. If my child is out of control, most likely I am doing all that I can to remove him from the situation. Thing is, in this case, we haven't heard that the kid was running around, throwing food, or anything of the sort. We hear that he was making noises. For some autistic kids that is involuntary. There is no way to control it; and, every once in a while, even the kids w/ involuntary responses deserves a night out to dinner. These kids work harder than most adults ever imagine. Their days are filled w/ therapy after therapy. They deserve a reward just the same as anyone else.

• @ Reality Check, while I agree that Carraba's is much nicer than Olive Garden, I completely disagree that anyone expects 5-star treatment there. It is, of course, a lot less noisy than Olive Garden, and the food tastes better, but it's not much more expensive and would never classify itself as 5-star.

• RudeDog, Many thanks for the props. Obtuse is one of my favorite words. March on, grammar nazi!

• *fffft gurglegurglegurgle* ...*cough* hate to waste it...

• *swig ... exhales* oh yeah... *munches*... matches my popcorn... *swig* *ggl*

• alexa-your eyes are getting red lol *fffft...gurglegurglegurgle*

• Kristen, I just want to give you my own, very personal, props for using the word "obtuse." And in a really appropriate way. And no, I'm not being snide at all. Anyone who can slip "obtuse" into a sentence makes me stand up and take notice. The Grammar Police are, in fact, out and about today but are marching right on by. PROPS! :-)

• k, I'll have half with my butter and cayenne and we'll put caramel on half for you! *swig... inhales second hand* yeah

• DayDreamer, My son and Daughter in law have removed all sugars, Gluetin and additives from his diet. He has eatten organic food since he was able to eat "real food". they say they are veggies, but i have gotten into fights on here about that, so i won't go that route again. You must understand, he is now 22 months old. And still isn't talking. maybe rarely mama or dada. That's it. her mother researched and she came up with Autism. When he was checked, it showed both his ears were 100% blocked with fluid. they drained them. and did somekind of hearing test on a nonverbal child and showed he has hearing loss. my son and wife decided, after much research that they were NOT going to allow them to give him his 18 month boosters. he has enproved a little bit and my son is slowly teaching him sign, just in case the hearing gets worst (which it has). he was kicked out of daycare, because he must have his shots. But the doctor says that it's not MANDITORY for a child to have their booster shots as long as they had the primary one. he will not be allowed to go to school when he turns 5 unless they bring his shots up to date, so are looking into home schooling him anyways. he is not the sharpest blade in the drawer. But he isn't total hanidcap. He does not talk. but will sit (stand) for hours watching Simpsons or Sponge Bob. The doctors are trying to determine if he is Autistic or ADD or ADHD or just deaf. Which is a little hard due to the nonverbal state he is in. The doctors thinks (so far) that his disablities are due to his birth. 12 days late. Doctors induced for 3 days before final doing a emergency c section. (DIL is 101 lbs 4 ft 7) he weighted a8 lb 8 oz. 22 inches long at brith. But... As hard as it is to control him (he's a big boy weights almost 30-35 ilbs at 22 months 30 inches tall) he is still a handful. So they choose not to go out to places to eat. Just in case. I understand people have different ideas how to control kids. and a public restuarant is something that should be thought about. i don't like a screaming kid while i am eatting neither. But i would NEVER punch someone over a child. hanicapped or ill mannered. That shows the kid wrong actions when you are attempting to teach good manners/behaviors. Would i have asked them to quiet the kid? yes. Rudely? No. Spoke to management? yes. I would never resort to violence over noise. and believe me, when i take mine out, I'm like a drill sargent. Before we even get there. and i'm not talking just restuarants. anywhere in public. Including Chuck E cheese! all those screaming kids and mine will be quietly playing, walking not running, come when i say time to eat or leave. No back talk no ill manners. then i hear comments from them on the way others were acting. they know if they are not behaving, they don't go anywhere. I don't have to take them. they don't live with me. I choose to take them.

• hell yeah-I like popcorn if it's COVERED in caramel... *fffft...gurglegurglegurgle*

• There she is, lol! I'll share if you will. *proffers popcorn* *swig*

• *ffffft...gurglegurglegurgle* lol

• *assembles popcorn and beer, fluffs pillows, watches* *swig* *wonders where cw is with entertainment appliance*

• @Slovee, Well, I did punch a girl once when I was twelve. But then, she sucker-punched me first (and, obviously, I am a girl.) If there is something in PARTICULAR you disagree with in my multitude of comments, feel free to tell me WHY I'm wrong and WHY you disagree. Just saying I have an attitude is really no defense of your position. Otherwise, it leads me to believe you think you are absolutely justified in having your child misbehave in public at the expense of others...

• Who the hell eats at an Olive Garden and expects anything but trailer trash.

• I love the comments about this guy being a real touch hole! The truth has finally come out about this guy. He is married to my cousin and everyone in my family has had a bad taste in their mouths about him. Now, we can see him for what he really is. Do I think that the family should have been out to dinner with a child that is difficult to control, no I don't. Eating out with small children isn't worht it, even if someone else is buying. However, the child cannot control his behavior, but but Mr. Blankfield should have. On the surface, he doesn't appear to have mental issues, but maybe it is time to see him for what he really is, a tool! I wonder if his behavior counts as something that you can go to RE-HAB for? Why not, everyone else does!!

• *swig* yeah Since Kristin isn't reading this post anymore, Slovee, you're SOL. Perhaps reading the rest of the comments could console you now that you know your onslaught was for naught? *swig* or not.....

• @Kristin- You seem like you have a bit of an attitude. I hope your children (if you have any) are always very quiet. Maybe if you had a child with autism you might understand that it is nice to get out of the house for a little. So they shouldn't be able to go out to eat because the child may make noise? Give me a break. Why don't you just go kick a puppy or punch a girl while you're at it.

• Angry Grandma, may I offer you some advice for your grandchildren? All kids are different and different things will work differently for each child. With that said, I would love to share a few things that worked for us w/ you. Take it as you may ... Autism and ADD / ADHD can be treated. I started my son on the gluten free / caesin free diet (GFCF). It was difficult; but, we saw wonderful results. There are substitutes for everything if you look. They even make Sun Butter that tastes just like peanut butter; but, it has no nuts for those allergic. Sun Butter is really good; and, it is healthier than peanut butter. Once we got the gluten and caesin out of his system it was like a fog lifted. For some of these kids, gluten and caesin can have the same effects on a child's body as narcotic pain killers. That is one reason a lot of kids seem to be in a world of their own. I discovered an awesome recipe for Almond Chicken Nuggets ... Fresh boneless chicken breast / tenderloins cut into nuggets, marinated in olive oil, rolled in almond flour, bake @ 450. So very good!!! Second, we started to experience aggressiveness due to the autism. My son would literally bounce off the walls, hit and bite, etc. I found an herbal supplement called A+ Attention. My son mellowed out a couple of hours after the first dose and it just got better from there!! The teachers and therapists keep telling me it is like a whole new kid! It has helped him to sit down for longer periods of time and focus, relax and reduced the aggression ... I can even sit down and read to him now! He even told me he felt better! This supplement also works wonders w/ ADD and ADHD kids. Please do a few google searches. There are lots of things that really help to improve these kid's quality of life and the parent's sanity!

• I also agree with Kristin when it comes to the blatantly obvious. And yes that is the point. I don't want to argue a non fight, and I 'get' that, but I also have been in situations where my child was NOT making any obscene noises or anything of the sort, and then she laughed, and I've had ppl actually come to the table and order me to tell her to stop it, and that I'm not a good parent. So it really isn't that simple sometimes. I don't feel it right to punish other ppl due to my child. But even now as an adult, it's hard for her to go to movies, as when she laughs the whole place knows it, and she gets the evil eye. I hope she never changes, but it'd sure be nice if others would be more accepting as well. To accept rude behavior by a child for any reason shouldn't be tolerated and that is not what I was talking about at all. But I still stand by my opinions expressed earlier.

• ok now I'm tired of being nice..... So, let me get this right. Let's say I take my son out to eat. Next to us is a child, autistic or brat, that is causing a huge commotion and the parents are sitting like bump on log allowing such behavior. I'll be damned if I let my son see someone other child get away with it when he would be severely disciplined for same thing. I will say something in a polite way. If I get attitude from stupid parents, then I WILL go to management. I take my son places (movies/eatery/games) all the time because he does behave. I am a regular returning customer and not someone who once in awhile takes child for special treat/day out. I know how my child will behave and do not have to sit on egg shells waiting for that " I know it is coming" explosion. GO OUT TO EAT, MOVIES OR WHEREVER!! HAVE A GREAT LIFE AND A GOOD TIME WHENEVER YOU CAN WITH YOUR CHILD. JUST KEEP THEM IN LINE IN A PUBLIC PLACE AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT GET UP AND LEAVE. IF YOU KNOW THAT CHILD WON'T "ACT RIGHT'.....GET A FREAKING BABYSITTER.....DON'T SUBJECT YOUR CRAPPY STRESSFUL LIFE ON THE REST OF US JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE COMMON COURTESY OR MANNERS TO REMOVE CHILD THAT IS MID MELTDOWN!

• Kristin, I wanna' be just like you when I grow up. See, I totally comprehend everything you've said and I see absolutely nothing wrong with what you are saying. But, there are those who insist on misunderstanding and fighting a non-fight. cw - no, no it's not too early! *swig*

• well then...

• it's never too early is it? *ffft* gurglegurglegurgle...join me? lol

• @Reality Check - well put. Those of you defending the outrageous behavior are continuing to be obtuse in your arguments. What part of no one denies that your kid has a RIGHT to be in public DO YOU NOT GET? The issue (pay attention here) is that you don't have the RIGHT to materially interfere with OTHERS' enjoyment of the restaurant, movie, etc... while said child is enjoying his RIGHT to be in public. So, you bring up that others do things that annoy you, as well. When these *things* get to be materially offensive to you, I suggest you confront the issue like any person would. No one is saying normal children's outrageous behavior is acceptable, either. YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. The point, you see, is about personal responsibility, accountability and some fucking COMMON COURTESY. I wouldn't let my kids act like that because I CARE about other people and fucking up their evening. You should try the same. The fact that this is HARDER due to your kid having a disability is NOT MY FUCKING FAULT. It doesn't make the interruption less obnoxious and ruinous. AGAIN, FOR THE UPTEENTH TIME NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT A NOISE HERE OR THERE. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A LEVEL OF INTERRUPTION/DISTRACTION THAT IS, BY ALL FUCKING COMMON COURTESY STANDARDS, UNACCEPTABLE. If you don't know what that point is please stay home with your kid and don't have any more. Jesus-fucking-Christ. I'm going back to work.

• @cw, thanks, and I feel the same about some of the responses here, and I can only hope that those who are not as sympathetic that they aren't really that harsh... it truly goes a long way to extend my patience when I see a parent openly show that they are bothered by their child being disruptive and make an effort to get it under control.

• @alexa kim.... That's actually funny....but no you don't have to do that. That wasn't my point to have you angry at me, and for that I do apologize. My point was that it's not a possibility to have pretend anything. That's like my former sister in law would get sooo mad at her kids for not talking correctly, yet....she would call Cheerio's choo choo's and then when the child was still calling them choo choo's at 6 and 7 she'd be upset....hello? Who told them Cheerio's were choo choo's in the first place? You start out teaching the correct words even if they don't pronounce them right. Just like you go to real places so kids learn how to act when there, normal and disabled. When we are out in public, no matter what status you claim to be....you have to not only be considerate of others, but you have to accept that others aren't the same as you. What is acceptable to one person isn't the same to another person, as we all have different values and beliefs and etc. That's just being out in public. No one should have to kiss anyone's ass for anything...unless they have a nice ass... j/k. I have many times had to take my kids out of a public place, and most of the time it wasn't for the child with Aspergers. I didn't take my kids at 8pm, but at 'family' times, and I didn't go to A list type places. As a parent you have to be reasonable as well, no matter what type of kids you have. But when you ARE at family places, you have to accept that not all families are created equally and sometimes we just have to all put on the happy face and deal with it....other times, either we leave or they do.

• Hey alexa, I think you have a great idea, but I have heard or read that sometimes disabled children or even adults can have "unusual" responses to stimuli outside of their norm. I am not trying to undermine anyone here and I've on more than one occasion asked to be moved elsewhere due to noisy children (don't know if they were disabled or not)but it breaks my heart to see so many unreasonable responses- alexa yours was NOT unreasonable.

• @cw...you are correct. A mother accused of strangling her two young children told a 911 operator she killed them because they were autistic and she wanted "normal kids." http://www.ktla.com/news/mobile/ktla-texas-mother-strangles-kids,0,3867157.story And I thought the same thing. Like I said before, my daughter's father told me he never liked this daughter because she was different and he had no patience for her. She has no relationship with him now, and no desire for one, and he has missed out on knowing a beautiful, kind, loving, compassionate young woman with goals and dreams and life ahead of her. Is she still 'different'...yep. But that is what makes her HER. And I love her with all my heart. I miss her laugh, even though others would cringe and look at me like, omg, what is that noise, when we were out in public...lol. She is living on her own, going to school, being in the public, and quite frankly doesn't care one bit what others think of her because she likes herself and is happy, and that's what counts.

• Ok, forget it. I was trying to be reasonable and offer a really very reasonable suggestion but no, that's not good enough for you. Fine, whatever. Next time I go out with my daughter, I'll make sure I kiss the ass of the next obnoxious parent who claims his child is autistic and then go demand that everyone else there line up and do the same. Ok?

• Oh people listen up. If you have a retarded kid, that retarded kid is your problem, not society's. People need to learn this lesson, so pay attention. If you have knowledge of the fact that your retarded child screams on regular intervals at ear drum rupturing volumes and regardless of this fact you take your child to a crappy italian resturant and annoy the crap out of all the other people there, it is officially your own fault when you get the special black & blue dessert. Also it is important for you to know that the olive garden is a gateway resturant and its only a matter of time until you take your retarded kid to a nicer place like Carraba's where people do in fact expect a 5 star experience, which includes that kid of yours ordering a tall glass of STFU. That being said, I'm truely sorry for the kid's illness, but get a babysitter like the rest of us or stay home.

• Hey everyone-I'm reminded of a recent article where a woman murdered her children due to them being autistic I think? She said she wanted to have normal children. Did society push her to that decision? Did she witness someone in a restaurant perhaps getting shitty with a parent of a disabled child? Just a thought...you can bash me if you want but this thread has brought me to this conclusion. I don't agree with her decision by the way.

• @angry grandma.... There are MANY places to go online for help. My ex husband's family has the so called gene that tends to cause the problem, but yes, the shots play a huge factor as well, as evidenced by my daughter. I could say many things here but won't and don't care to get into a back and forth discussion on this. However, there ARE support groups both online and in communities now that will help you with all sorts of things. When my daughter was in elementary school, there was no 'label' for her Asperger's, so I had to use other labels. I remember the teachers saying to me...how can you label your child like that...to which I replied...if it gets her the help, you can say she's purple with green spots if you want. Labels are for your paperwork, not for her well being. If you have questions...remember, you are the family and know these children and don't let ppl who don't know these kids make any uneducated diagnosis without spending time with them, asking you questions and observing for themselves. Love those babies and give them whatever help you can.

• It is easy to say to a parent like me...practice at home. The only way to 'practice' being in public is to BE in public. There are no 'practice' restaurants, grocery stores, soccer fields, malls, gas stations, classrooms, doctors offices, motor vehicle offices, school auditoriums, disneyland's, zoos, museums, etc, and they have the RIGHT to go to all of those places freely as well as the 'normal' child or person, without feeling they HAVE to come up with exit strategies so as not to bother the 'normal' people. You have no idea what will or will not affect your child or at what given time. And to keep a child like that 'locked up' until they are 18 and considered an adult...wow, they would be even worse as they would have had NO experience being out in the public, and the parent would take the blame for not having taught them. But to say that as a parent of, or as a person with a disability, that THEY have the responsibility to not make YOU a 'normal' person uncomfortable and not expect YOU to make some concessions is to be quite frank....unfair. I've seen many a 'normal' kid throwing a tantrum and no parent doing anything to MAKE ME happy with that unwanted experience. We ALL have to make concessions when we are in the public and deal with other people. 'Normal' people cut in line at stores and events...they insult and offend clerks in stores and people in public places....that's OK because it's not a disabled person doing the offending? Do 'normal' families practice out of home experiences at pretend places? Why is it necessary for the disabled to cater to the needs of the so called 'normal' society? I thought we were all to accept responsibility for treating others as ourselves. Guess unless you are 'normal' that rule doesn't apply? I went to a restaurant once with all my kids. One was a baby at the time, the child with Asperger's was 4. There was a father and his son....around 50 yrs old with his son in his 20's....who came up to me and said....'I see you have your hands full here. I'm sitting here talking to my son and plan to for a long time and we are sitting in an area where you can see us and there is no exit but to go by you. I miss my Granddaughter so very much and would feel it an HONOR to hold your baby while you help your other children and enjoy your meal'. Normally I would NEVER hand my child to a stranger....but he was no longer one...he was a compassionate man who helped me calm my children by taking an active role in making it possible for ME to do that. I have helped others when I see this situation as well. Not everyone can nor wants to take that active a role, and conversely, not everyone will accept that kind of help either. But what happened to helping others? What happened to treating others as you would want to be treated yourself? What happened to understanding and a community coming together to help each other? Why is it always necessary to make other people happy at all cost, yet if I'm offended or put off, that's ok? Where does it end, and who is the 'right' one? Who makes the decision that it's YOU who has to go instead of me? or visa versa.

• I have to agree with the commenters who urge diners not to believe they are entitled to anything, and be a little patient. While it might be rude for a parent with special needs children to dine frequently out with their kids making a lot of noise, why should they <b>NEVER, EVER</b> be allowed to? They get tired and have their own circumstances in life, so they should be entitled to the occasional meal out where they don't have to cook or clean. They shouldn't be banned from travelling on airplanes or buses or malls. They should be allowed some semblance of a normal life. As I said, they should be polite and practice moderation, but that doesn't mean that the kid should be sequestered for life. Please, have a shred of humanity and maturity.

• Sandy, Thank you for this information. as we are not sure yet if my young 22 month old grandson has it or not. We know he has some hearing loss but they can't test him for Autism yet. We have found out that they (researchers) think the childhood booster shots maybe a facter as well. So we haven't giving him anything since his 14 month check up. But still, i didn't know where to go online to get information on it. So again, thank you for the information. I also have 2 grandsons who have both been diagnosed as ADHD. The 11 yr has it with Anixety and the 5 yr old only has the ADHA (so far) But The 2 sisters are high above average (the 12 yr reads and tests at 11th grad level and the 7 yr old is testing out at 8th grade level) And the 12 yr brother of the baby, is also high above averages. So 3 out of 3 for me. But i treat each one exactly the same, even though the 2 older boys are "disabled" and are in special need classes. Makes me wonder if the little one is just ADHD or ADD and they can't test him yet. So again, thanks for the information.

• &#64;patience on a monument As long as the wheelchair people are quiet I have no issue with them holding me up with getting where I have to go. Although I do quietly gripe to myself when I'm stuck behind elderly people when driving or when they take too long getting up stairs. Isnt that what the ramps are for? As for noisy autisitc children it has ZERO to do with me discriminating against them because they are autistic, although aspies can be really really annoying, and more to do with the fact that I just can't stand yelling, screaming kids, handicapped or not, when I'm out to eat.

TotalComments: 100