Probation officer gives office BJ to boot-camp teen
Top 5 Douchebags: Shaun Strachan Robs Widow At Gravesite
Monday, August 30, 2010 at 9:00 am
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Some of us are just wired differently. Where most see tragedy, others see personal opportunity. We call these people douchebags.
So when Richard Nesmith saw 62-year old Richard Littell fall and hit his head on the curb after being assaulted by 40-year old Raymond Ball outside the Evergreen Café in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, Nesmith thought, "This is my chance."
Leaning over the stricken man -- who would die eight days later from brain injuries -- Nesmith made like Dr. Gregory House while surreptitiously lifting Littell's wallet from his back pocket. "He won't be needing these," he may have thought, as he split Littell's credit cards among three others for a collective $4,300 shopping spree.
Nesmith and three women -- Rikki Molter, Susan Hill and Amy Roberts -- are charged with forgery, receiving stolen property and conspiracy. Nesmith is also charged with theft. The man's assailant, Ball, has been charged with homicide and aggravated assault.
On a side note, according to the man who gave Ball and Littell a ride together to the bar, Littell was running his mouth and questioning Ball's toughness on the way over. When they stepped out of the car, Ball showed him how tough he was. According to witnesses, he knocked Littell out cold with his second punch, at which point the longtime owner/operator of Johnson Pest Control fell "like a board" thwacking his head on the curb.
Karma has one helluva sick sense of humor.
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Infants are a handful. Clearly nine months wasn't enough to prepare Thomas Ampe for this well-established fact. Perhaps someone should have told the Savage, Minnesota man that banging a little girl upside the head like an old TV won't changed the picture.
Instead it resulted in 56 fractures to her ribs, legs, arms and knees as well as three areas of bruising and bleeding in his 4-week old daughter's brain. The 22-year old Ampe admitted he was frustrated with his daughter, who suffers from Downs syndrome, and her extended crying fits. He confessed to grabbing her, squeezing her, hitting her on the back of her head with an open hand, and dropping her from as high as a foot into her baby bed.
He said he was contrite, but if convicted Ampe faces 20 years in prison and a $30,000 fine. I'll bet he's even more contrite when his prison bunkie, Chuckles, hits him across the back of the head and drops him from a height for snoring -- or simply meeting his gaze.
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"What's in a name?" Shakespeare asks. But a Cosby by any other name is not necessarily so sweet. Bill Cosby is a beloved comedian. Thomas Cosby is a racist lunatic who back in 2008 ran over a 25-year old black bicyclist in Daytona Beach, then jumped out of the car and started insulting her.
When police arrived, Cosby used several racial slurs and told them "I turned my car to take him out." (He apparently mistook the woman, Nekedia Cato, for a man.) Would you believe Cosby has a history of mental illness? In the words of Maxwell Smart, He's T - H - I - S close to a full deck. Cosby was found not guilty by reason of insanity more than a decade ago when he attacked police officers with a hand axe.
He was initially found incompetent in October 2008, spent seven months in a state hospital before the court decided his competency had been restored. He was found incompetent again this year, sent to state hospital and finally returned to Volusia County Jail. (Whenever the music stops, whoever's holding Cosby has to keep him for three to six months.)
Two doctors buttressed his defense attorney's claim that Cosby was insane, but prosecutors love a good hate crime conviction, and the 58-year old Cosby was eventually sentenced to 10 years in prison. If it seems unclear who the bigger douche is -- Cosby, the prosecutor, or the mental institutions that keep dumping him on somebody else -- you're not alone. The only sympathetic character is Cato, who suffered a broken leg and internal injuries amounting to $75,000 in medical bills.
One thing's for sure: I don't want Cosby moving into my neighborhood.
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It's bad enough that there's sick individuals forcing themselves on women -- but does it have to be someone's mee-maw?
Police in Germantown are investigating two rapes, one in June of a 68-year old woman, and one last weekend of an 86-year old woman. The latest occurred when the assailant slipped through an unlocked window at the Churchill Senior Living Center. The incident two months ago occurred in a townhouse across the street, less than a quarter mile away. In both cases the man was described as black, in his early 20s, and short with a thin build. Police aren't sure they're the same person, and are investigating any leads.
Behavior like this calls for chemical castration.
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If they're looking for an anti-drug spokesman, how about making that a condition of 28-year-old junkie/thief Shaun Strachan punishment.
It might go: "Hi, I'm Shaun, a human colostomy bag, driven by my addictions to depths Jacques Cousteau could only dream of. Because I'm sick, sniveling scum, I prey only on those weaker than myself -- which in that state pretty much only leaves, 83-year old ladies with a limp. Don't hate me because I'm a shitbag. Appreciate me as a cautionary tale."
Apparently the Peterhead, Scotland resident watched as Christina Rhynd made her weekly visit to mourn her dead husband Reginald, who died 14 years ago. She laid the flowers on his grave and made to leave, when Strachan snuck up behind her and grabbed her purse so he could pay off a drug debt.
She screamed and two men chased him down the street, recovering the purse. Though he momentarily got away, police caught Strachan a little later. The poor widow was too shake to return for weeks after the June mugging. Sentencing for Strachan was deferred.
Read last Monday's Douchebags of the Week: Douglas Perlitz Extorted Street Kids For Sex.
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