What Wouldn’t Jesus Do?: Johnny Cabe Fondles Boy At Illegal Church Clinic


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​We’re used to seeing hardened criminals — just not wearing the Lord’s collar. The star of this week’s What Wouldn’t Jesus Do? is Johnny Cabe, a three-time loser previously convicted of assault, investment fraud, and now charged with fondling a 10-year old boy at his church. Hopefully this moves him toward the top of God’s “To Smite List”…

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5. Edward Webb

Retired Charlotte, North Carolina pastor Edward Webb is proud of the Lord’s work. A bit too proud.

Webb’s been running around showing it off — in grocery store parking lots and neighborhood parks. One woman in the park saw him sitting in his car pulling the goalie, and called the cops with his license plate. She later identified him out of a police lineup.

The 66-year old Webb had been arrested for indecent exposure a couple years back. He confessed doing the same thing in a Harris Teeter parking lot a few months back. He told the cops he needs help. Let’s hope he had his pants on when he asked.


4. Rodney Stewart

Talk isn’t cheap for Broadview Heights, Ohio preacher Rodney Stewart. The 43-year old evangelist preacher and married father of four was caught in an online sex sting.

Stewart conversed online with individuals that identified themselves as a 15-year old girl and her 36-year old mother, engaging in explicit conversations with both, sometimes simultaneously. Stewart also sent the girl a picture of lil’ Rod, his meat whistle.

Officers raided his house and seized several computers and laptops. Stewart won’t be asking anyone if they think he’s sexy anytime soon. He’s being held on a $25,000 bond.

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3. Santos Rosado

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania pastor Santos Rosado knows how to keep his lawyer busy. He’s facing charges in three different cases, and his daughters are in trouble in a related case.

The 44-year old Rosado was charged earlier this month for sex crimes with a minor from 1993 to 2000, beginning when the girl was 12. He was free on a $50,000 bond when police charged him for rekindling those old memories with a then 14-year old girl starting in 2007 and ending last summer.

During her frequent fights with her mother, the girl would often flee her home and take refuge at Rosado’s house, where the two would have sex. She told police the relationship was confusing because though she saw Rosado as a father figure, she also felt she was falling in love with him. In April of 2009 she ran away from home, and spent several months living with one of Rosado’s relatives in Florida. He’s quite the pimp, don’t you know!

Even his daughters feel protective of him. While we appreciate family unity, twenty-somethings Linette and Lydia Rosado took it too far by stalking, insulting and threatening to kick the ass of the latest victim, her brother and her mother. During one such instance, their brother, 26-year old Gamaliel, showed how gangsta he was by pulling up his shirt to reveal a gun in his waistband. (They don’t need a 3-day waiting period for a gun so much as an IQ test.) There’s still a warrant out for his arrest, while the two women are in custody for several charges of harassment and intimidation.

Capping his courtroom-filled year, Rosado was charged in February for conspiring with Miguel Rivera to defraud the Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem where Rosado worked. The Bethlehem Community Fellowship minister used his access to casino computers to load up several fraudulent My Sands player cards with free “e-play” credits. He gave them to Rivera who briefly played video roulette, then cashed the 18 cards in to the tune of $1,439. Each man faces 90 charges in connection with the scam.

Rosado’s currently being held in Northampton County Prison on a $500,000 bond. With all the business his attorney’s doing, Rosado should’ve earned free representation for his family’s next crime. The way things are going, it won’t be long before he cashes that in.

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2. Kevin Pushia

The wages of sin are much better than those of righteousness, which is presumably why 34-year old Baltimore pastor Kevin Pushia’s now charged with insurance fraud and conspiracy to commit murder.

Pushia, who worked as an operations manager for Arc of Baltimore, couldn’t afford all the bling his heart desired. So he took out insurance policies on several residents of the group home for the developmentally challenged, where he was working. He canceled policies he’d taken out on a couple of the residents before their deaths of natural causes, but in the case of Lemuel Wallace, he doubled down.

Pushia used the internet to take out policies totaling $1.4 million for Wallace’s accidental death, which included murder. He then paid a hitman $50,000 through associate James Clea to kill the 37-year old blind man. He used insurance money from a fire at his East Baltimore church in January 2007. (Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious now?)  In February of last year Wallace was found dead in his bathroom, shot through the head.

Police had few leads on the homicide until an agent for one of the insurance companies made a routine call to the police to confirm that Pushia, who was listed as Wallace’s brother, wasn’t a suspect in the death. (“Well, he is now…”)

After searching his newly-built Fankfort, Maryland townhouse, police discovered a notation on Pushia’s planning calendar on the day Wallace was killed, reading “L.W. project completed.” (Nice subtlety.)

Pushia, who also cared for a pair of foster children (now sucked back into the system), owed tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and faced foreclosure of several properties he owned. He was also dealing with depression, according to his attorney. (“Hey, I might feel better if I have someone killed…”) He could face life in prison. Neither the hitman nor the murder weapon have been located.

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1. Johnny Cabe

Rock Hill, South Carolina pastor Johnny William Cabe is someone you couldn’t trust to buy a car from, let alone care for you child. Yet he’s spent his entire life preaching to people whose boots he’s not fit to lick.

The 50-year old Cabe was charged last week with sexually abusing a 10-year old boy between January and June of last year. During that time, he offered to care for the child of one of his parishioners while they were at work, and used that opportunity to play doctor. Cabe was charged with illegally operating a medical clinic thanks to an impromptu medical examination he gave that involved fondling the child’s genitals, and recommending treatment. (“See if this massage helps…”)

This sounds very similar to a charge Cabe faced 17 years ago when two teenage boys accused him of abusing them under the pretense of giving them a hernia exam while pastor of the Rock Hill Church, where they attended school. (“I’m not a doctor, but I have a lot of experience with cock and b
alls…”) Those charges were eventually dismissed.

Cabe’s also charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor for giving the boy a SIM card (i.e. cell phone memory card) so he could continue to stay in touch with him, so to speak, after the mother ended their childcare arrangement.

Back in 1989 Cabe was charged with assault for a confrontation with a church member, and he was sent to jail in 1998 for investment fraud. He bilked investors out of approximately $8.5 million in a scam called HisWay International Ministries, which promised investment returns as high as 500 percent.

He was released in 2008 after serving 9 years in prison, but clearly missed the institutional slop and close contact with lots of horny men. You know, spare the rod, spoil the preacher. He’ll undoubtedly receive a long, hard sentence for this.

Read last Tuesday’s What Wouldn’t Jesus Do?: Patrick McCabe Took His Pedophilia From Ireland to U.S. With Church’s Complicity.