Stephen Carr, 48, was tired of people speeding through his Fairfax County, Virginia neighborhood. But unlike the rest of us, he didn’t just cuss and throw rocks at the offending drivers. He went through the arduous process of getting a speed bump installed…
This pissed off no small number of drivers in the suburban D.C. community, where they take their commuting and road rage very seriously. People would often honk in anger as they hit the bump installed in front of Carr’s home.
But David A. Patton, 44, took it worse than most. In June, as Carr was pulling out of his driveway, Patton stopped to confront him. Patton banged on his windows and reached into the car to grab Carr’s arm.
Carr called police to report the not so manly assault. Patton also called 911, actually requesting an ambulance by claiming he was hit by Carr’s vehicle. But police, recognizing a weirdo when they see one, charged Patton with misdemeanor assault.
Patton’s trial was scheduled for last Thursday. He’d apparently been stewing over the incident since June. But instead of simply eating a misdemeanor pinch, he decided to break into Carr’s house and confront him once again.
Carr’s girlfriend says that she and her sweetheart were watching TV about 10 p.m. when Patton broke into their home. Armed with a gun, he ordered them to the floor, then tied them up with zip ties.
Yet Carr tried to wrangle his way out of the ties. During the ensuing struggle, Patton shot and killed him. The girlfriend escaped, but Patton caught her and ordered back into the house.
It wasn’t long before Carr’s roommate showed up. He too was ordered to the floor at gunpoint. But while Patton was distracted, the roommate bolted.
Patton, having now demonstrated his utter lack of skill in hostage situations, gave chase after the roommate. But this allowed the girlfriend to run upstairs and call 911. Police arrived and quickly sealed off the neighborhood. Our moron Patton was arrested in Carr’s backyard carrying a backpack with zip ties and a gun.
The dope is now sitting in the Fairfax jail, charged with second-degree murder. All because he just couldn’t slow down while driving through a residential neighborhood. (Special thanks to reader Patrick for the tip.)
See our last tale of road rage: John Babcock, Moron of the Day: Road rage Dickhead Runs Over Woman With Car.