a 32-year-old man from Maine Township, Illinois and our Moron of the Day…
There are few things more despicable than a wife beater. But when you happen to be the dumbest wife beater in all of Illinois, you’re entering uncharted waters of stupidity. Meet Janusz Owca,
He was already on probation for a domestic violence pinch in June when he arrived home hammered at 5 p.m. on Sunday. Naturally, his sweetheart wasn’t happy with his inebriated state. Women are weird that way. So they commenced to arguing.
We’re guessing Owca isn’t skilled at the domestic arts of verbal battle. Besides, he had already come home hammered, which in marital conflict is akin to leaving your fort unguarded with 10,000 enemy soldiers amassed at the gate.
So he tried to trump the verbal warfare by going physical, choking his sweetheart and grabbing her by the hair before she fled with her kids.
When police arrived at the scene, our moron assumed a “fighting stance,” according to their report, and told an officer that “I’m going to fuck you up.” The problem with his thesis statement, however, is that he’s a wifebeater. Which means that if he wants to go toe to toe with a man, he’s a 27,000 to 1 underdog in Vegas.
The officer subdued him by force — see photo above — and took him to jail. That’s when our mope again threatened the cop, telling him he knew people in jail who would whack the officer for just $100.
But then the dumbass somehow got dumber. He used his one call to phone the woman he’d just beaten. Now he was threatening to kill her. The woman naturally called police back to report his latest threat.
Owca is charged with domestic battery, but his case is likely to blossom like flowers in the spring. A judge seems to recognize this as well, since he gave Owca the moron’s special on bail, setting it at a whopping $350,000.
See our last episode of Moron of the Day: Timothy Hammerstone Caught Swapping Child Porn for Xbox Live Points.