When he’s not shaping the minds of America’s youth, substitute teacher William Tyler Black likes to enjoy his hobby of public masturbation. He’s a wicked horn dog, you see. But seeing as how he doesn’t have fulltime work, he likely couldn’t afford Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition…
The Swimsuit Edition featured model Brooklyn Decker, causing Black to fire up his manly sword in the toy aisle at Walmart
So instead of buying it, bringing it home, and masturbating to models in the privacy of his own perv lair, he decided to take the edition to the toy aisle of Walmart, which is always a good second choice for the masturbatory degenerate on a budget.
Alas, a security officer became concerned when she heard moaning in the next aisle. Further discovery revealed Black with his penis out, squirting man juice on the distinguished retailer’s floor. Then he shoved the magazine in some toys, wiped his hands on a light saber, and continued shopping.
Employees called police, then quarantined the aisle until it could be fumigated and exorcised by a priest.
Cops in North Port, Florida arrested him on charges of indecent exposure and
battery, the last charge stemming his reckless handling of dangerous liquids (sperm) in a public place.
See the our last tale of weird masturbation: Dan Duffy, Iowa Chiropractor, Accused of Masturbating on Female Patient.