Aaron Homer and Amanda Williamson fancy themselves as vampires who are into paganism. In the past, their roommate Robert Maley has allowed them to suck his blood. They were apparently thirsty again the other day when they asked Maley if they could have some more…
But he said no. That’s when Homer got pissed — he is a scary vampire, after all — and stabbed Maley in the arm at their Chandler, Arizona apartment.
Maley, it seems, had a warrant out for him concerning a parole violation. So instead of waiting for an ambulance, he bolted the scene, even though he was bleeding like a very big vampire who was having her period.
Police arrived to find an apartment awash in blood. They easily traced Maley to his new location via the trail of blood. Meanwhile, our moronic vampires got their asses arrested because they couldn’t get their stories straight.
Williamson (pictured top) claimed she stabbed Maley in self-defense because he was attacking her. But Homer told police he stabbed Maley because his roommate was making fun of his “religion,” which worships bad nighttime dramas on the WB network.
So Homer was hit with assault, Williamson was charged with filing a false report, Maley was jailed for parole violations, and they all lived happily ever after.
See our last vampire story: Andrew Whiteman, Drunk Vampire, Threatened to Kill Cop’s Children, Eat Another’s Kidney.