Call it a hunch, but you probably won’t see Ramone Hollins, Cory Young or Darius Thomas chairing any meetings of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in the immediate future. The three soldiers from Fort Carson, Colorado decided they’d really enjoy some herbal pleasure…
Soldiers Cory Young and Darius Thomas discover being all they can be does not include burglary, which they happen to suck at
But we’re guessing it’s hard to stay in steady command of a pot supply when you’re making armed services money. So to beat the laws of economics, they broke into Rocky Road Remedies, a medicinal weed dispensary in Colorado Springs, thinking it would be a good way to be all they could be. Or at least get really high.
Yet they aren’t ready to be professional burglars. Our fighting men broke into the store by busting in through the back door. Alas, they busted it so bad it wouldn’t open when they tried to escape. Nor could they get out the locked front door.
And it just happened to be their bad luck when a patrolmen, responding to another call, saw movement inside the closed store. When he checked, he found the war heroes frantically trying to find their way out.
By the time the store’s owner responded 15 minutes after the alarm went off, our masked mopes were already in handcuffs. Surveillance tape showed them “running around like rats in a maze,” according to the owner.
They were charged with second-degree burglary.
See our last tale from the Moron of the Day file: Deborah Houston Hires Cop to Kill Son-in-Law, Burn Down Lawyer’s Office.