Neighbors Who See Stabbing Kick Ass 1
Did Parole Officer Fix System Via Forgery? 2
NBA Player Ensnared in Child-Porn Case? 3

Jeremy Decker & Sarah Hand: America's Dumbest Rapists Let Victim Go When She Agrees to Return for More Rape

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm
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One today's episode of Moron of the Day, we take you to the enchanting city of Casselberry, Florida, where we're guessing the school system doesn't have a problem with producing too many Rhodes scholars. It seems an unnamed woman had a fight with her roommate...

So she went to a nearby gas station, where she consoled herself by buying a delicious bag of candy. As she was hanging out there, Jeremy Paul Decker, 20, and Sarah Nicole Hand, 18, pulled up in their car. They noticed that something was wrong with the woman, so they invited her back to their place to hang out, partake of bong hits, and chill.

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Jeremy Decker failed to consider that he's much less desirable as a sexual partner when he isn't pointing a gun to someone's head
At some point Decker and Hand began asking the woman if she wanted to engage in saucy acts of carnal pleasure. The woman said no. They kept asking. She kept saying no.

Stunned that she wasn't panting at the thought of pawing his mighty sword, Decker was forced to resort to Plan B. He pulled out a gun, then made the woman to perform sex acts on both him and his girlfriend.

But when the round of coercive sex was completed, our two rapists were presented with a dilemma: They were now stuck with their victim. So they decided to let her go -- but only if she promised to return later for more rape.

Apparently our geniuses had failed remedial logic. They forgot to consider that, were a gun not pointed to her head, their victim would be slightly less eager to perform sex acts on two degenerates. Who wouldda thought? Instead, she bolted to inform police.

Decker and hand were subsequently arrested for sexual assault with a weapon, kidnapping, possession of marijuana and possession of drug equipment. They are expected to be placed in the beginner's class when they're sent to prison.

See our last episode from the Moron of the Day file: Rictoria Bethea Attacks Customer at Wendy's Drive-Thru For Speaking Too Softly.

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