Hubert Blackman, Moron of the Day: Sues Escort Service for Insufficiently Brief Blowjob
Monday, January 24, 2011 at 11:58 am
|Hubert Blackman wants $1.8 million, claiming he's developed a rare medical condition called "regret" after spending $270 for a lap dance and a blow job|
A fun time was had by all.
But the next morning Hubert woke up with buyer's remorse. He'd burned through $275 on the vixen, which one would assume is a princely sum for a college student. And she had only stayed a half-hour, not the complete hour Hubert says he was promised by Las Vegas Exclusive Personals.
So he called the company and asked for a refund. The company refused, contending that its workers were all subcontractors -- which is business-speak for "we not paying you shit for benefits" -- and that Hubert got exactly what he paid for.
Then he called the Vegas PD, apparently claiming he'd been defrauded. This was not a wise thing to do, seeing as how prostitution is illegal in Vegas. If the cops were to pursue the hooker, they'd have to pursue Hubert as well. And seeing as how they had better things to do, they told Hubert to call the Better Business Bureau.
But Hubert was still pissed when he got back to New York. Instead of just being the dope who paid $275 for a half-hour hooker, he thought it would be a much better idea to open himself to national ridicule. So he sued Exclusive Personals, asking for $1.8 million, claiming he's contracted a mental condition born from the tragic incident.
Diagnosis: It's called congenital assholism, Hubert.
See our last episode from the Moron of the Day file: Joshua Vargas Decides Eating M&Ms is More Important Than Robbing Bank.