UPDATE: After the story about his shameless lawsuit ends up with ridicule in the national media, New York Republican State Senator Jim Alesi decides it isn’t such a good idea after all. Meanwhile, his constituents are chipping in to pay for lessons so he can learn how to climb a ladder. See update after the jump…
State Senator Jim Alesi is a Republican from Perinton, New York, which
means he’s likely spent much of his career yammering about personal
responsibility and the decline of Western Civilization. But being a
scumbag politician, he believes upholding morality is better left to
The values he speaks of don’t apply to him.
In 2008, Alesi decided to check out a new home that was still under construction. Finding the front door locked, he went around back and entered through an unlocked door in the basement.
The home wasn’t finished, so there was only a ladder leading to the second floor. And while Jim Alesi no doubt bills himself as a true American, he’s too effete to actually climb a ladder. It seems to dope fell off and seriously injured himself.
The home had already been sold by the time Alesi made his impromptu visit. Both the couple who bought that place and the builder,
Louis DiRisio, could have filed trespassing charges against Alesi. But since they’re not douchebags, the thought never crossed their minds. Alesi, meanwhile, was plotting against them all along.
He waited exactly three years until the statute of limitations expired for them to file trespassing charges. Then he sued DiRiso and the couple who bought the home, claiming both were negligent because “the premises were not reasonably safe.”
Yes, a guy sneaks into a home, hurts himself when he’s too big of a pussy to climb a ladder, then sues them because they should have safeguarded the place from candy-asses Jim Alesi.
it’s a job site,” DiRisio told WHAM-TV. “A home under construction. There was a
ladder going from the basement to the first level of the home, and he
slipped going up the ladder. The ladder didn’t break. There wasn’t a
malfunction there. In fact, I still have the ladder if you want a photo
of it. I suppose it might not have been safe for
someone who is not familiar with operating a ladder.”
We doubt Aresi will get anywhere with his suit, other than to amplify his reputation as a self-absorbed asshole. Even the county chairman of the Republican Party is asking him to drop the litigation. But Aresi refuses to talk to reporters. (Special thanks to Texas Bureau Chief Leah for the tip.)
Jim Alesi would like you to just forget about the whole thing. Pretty please?
UPDATE: Alesi discovers his suit isn’t such a good idea after all.
The ingrate senator apparently had second thoughts about his suit after his own party denounced him, he was mocked in the national media for being an asshole, and someone even set up a fake Twitter account to ridicule him.
“Recently, I filed a personal injury lawsuit for injuries I sustained
on a home construction site nearly three years ago,” Alesi said in a statement last night. “I filed
the suit without regard to the anxiety that it would cause the
homeowners, the builders or the community where we live, and I’m sorry
for that. With that in mind, I’ve decided to withdraw the lawsuit and hopefully move on and do the job I was elected to do.”
If we may be so bold, we’ll translate that out of political-speak for you: “Holy shit! I didn’t think anybody’d find out about this! I figured I’d shake down the builder, quietly settle out of court, then maybe take my girlfriend for a long weekend in Niagara Falls. She loves going to the Rain Forest Cafe. But now I’d like to move on. No, really, let’s just forget about the whole thing. Please? You’re not going to hold one incredibly shameless lawsuit against me, are you?”
See our last tale from the Moron of the Day file: Hubert Blackman Sues Escort Service for Insufficiently Brief Blowjob.