Maricopa County, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio fancies himself as “America’s toughest sheriff.” But he may have outdone himself this time by pulling off a rare politician’s trifecta of utter shamelessness, self-aggrandizement, and wholesale government waste…
Attention, Cockfighting Ring Operators: When you see Steven Seagal getting all Chinese in his wardrobe like this, you never know when he might just bring a tank and kill all your chickens
When we last left this one-man lawsuit machine, he was busy running up huge settlements against his department, which covers greater Phoenix. He also has a history of using his department to spy on political enemies. But this time Arpaio went for the gold.
It seems alleged actor Steven Seagal was in town filming for his alleged-reality TV show, Lawman. And since Arpaio is to television cameras what shit is to stink, the good sheriff gladly offered to help him out with some dramatic crime-fighting footage.
The problem was that when you’re more showman than working man, you’re not very good at catching actual bad guys. So Arpaio was a little short on quality criminals to film getting bagged. That’s when these two dopes came up with the comical idea to raid Jesus Llovera’s cockfighting ring.
Llovera raised chickens at his home. He also has previous misdemeanor bust for attending a cockfighting match. But there’s no record supporting anything that would imply he was armed or dangerous.
Nonetheless, when the sheriff’s department raided his house, they arrived with dozens of SWAT teams members, a bomb robot, armored vehicles and, yes, even a tank. Deputies blew out of the windows of the home and used the tank — commanded by Seagal — to smash down a wall.
When it was all over, they found 115 chickens — which they mysteriously euthanized on the spot. They also found Llovera, unarmed.
The sheriff’s department claims it had info that Llovera was armed. It just won’t say what that info is. But others are suspecting that Arpaio merely staged the entire event to grab some beloved air time on Seagal’s cable show. After all, this kind of manpower is usually only used against terrorists and cartel kingpins.
The operation is estimated to have cost tens of thousands of dollars. But in the end, all they have to show for it is lowly Jesus Llovera, who was pinched on suspicion of cockfighting.
See our last story from the Politicians file: Scott Bundgaard, Arizona Senate Leader, Bitch Slaps Girlfriend, Then Claims Political Immunity.