Rev. Grant Storms, Anti-Gay 'Christian Patriot,' Caught Masturbating at Playground
Friday, March 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm
He's also known for "The Reformer Radio Show," where he blasts the Catholic Church for being "satanic" and "demonic."
But you may have noticed this trend: It often seems that those who blubber loudest in the name of Jesus tend to have a perv side of their own. And that would be oh-so-true of the good Rev. Storms.
On Monday, he was parked in his van at Lafreniere Park in Metairie, with a fine view of a carousel and a children's playground. And moms, being the vigilant sort, tend to have keen observational skills when it comes to detecting creepy guys near playgrounds.
A woman walking by with her kids noticed that Storms was watching the playground with his alleged masculinity unzipped, pleasuring himself in a somewhat unspiritual manner.
A second woman also saw Storms flogging the Power Point, obviously inspired by the nearby kids at play.
They both told a park employee, who called the cops.
Alas, God failed the good reverend when it came to summoning an excuse for being The Creepy Guy at the Park. He claimed he was innocently eating lunch when he decided to pee in a bottle rather than use the park restroom. He's a very busy man, after all. He doesn't have time for conventional peeing.
But police, sadly, were inclined to believe the moms, since creepy bastards with their penises out at playgrounds can often be deceptive. Or so we are led to believe.
He was charged with obscenity. And though bail was set at $5,000, Storms managed to be released without paying due to overcrowding. He's now back at church, where parishioners would be wise to hide the women and children. (Special thanks to Texas Bureau Chief Leah for the tip.)
See our last story from the Religion file: Father Ignatius Kury, Hammered Priest, Offers to Give Cops Blow Job.