UPDATE: Philicia Barbieri has also been charged with stealing $22,500 worth of computers from her school. She was caught after surveillance cameras caught her stealing a laptop, and has confessed to the thefts. See update after the jump…
|Alvin Carter is so dumb he accidentally threw away the robbery money when he dumped his jacket in the garbage|
You might say things weren’t going so well for 24-year-old chemistry
teacher Philicia Barbieri. On March 29, she was suspended from her job
at the Pittsburgh School for the Creative and
Performing Arts. It seems $21,000 in laptops were missing, and she was a
That left Barbieri and her boyfriend, 28-year-old Alvin Carter III, behind on the rent at their apartment. But while Lady Barbieri may be a scholar of science, she would prove to be lacking in acumen when it came to the art of scoring easy money.
The couple fashioned a plan to rob a bank. But being morons, they decided to rob the bank where they just closed their account in May. They were seen outside by a teller who recognized them and even waved. But the two dopes didn’t notice.
Carter entered the bank with a note demanding $2,000 and no dye-packs, threatening to shoot anyone who interfered. Since she was obviously dealing with a moron, the teller gave Carter $3,640 and he fled through a rear door. Consider the extra amount charity for the stupid.
But since another teller had recognized him outside, police had names and photos of their suspects almost immediately.
On their flight to brief freedom, Carter stuffed $2,200 in the pocket of his jacket, then gave Barbieri $1,440 to hold in her purse.
Along the way, Carter stopped to discard his jacket, hat and sunglasses he used in the robbery. Yet the moron forgot to take the $2,200 out of his jacket pocket before he threw it in the garbage.
Fittingly, the couple was caught in the parking lot of a school. Police say both confessed to the dimwitted caper. Carter also admitted that the pair had recently developed a heroin habit, which may explain the shortage of money.
Barbieri has yet to be charged in the missing laptops case. But she and her sweetheart are now charged with robbery and conspiracy for their ill-fated bank takedown.
UPDATE: Philicia Barbieri has also been charged with stealing $22,500 worth of laptops from her school.
Things just keep getting worse for this once-promising young couple. Police have now charged Barbieri with theft for stealing 10-15 laptops from her school. She was apparently caught on surveillance tape back in March and she confessed at the time.
Still, she was only suspended with pay. For some reason the charges were delayed until now.
Barbieri’s confessed that she stole the computers to feed her and Carter’s heroin habit, which had grown to a $100-a-day addiction. She’d trade the laptops for $150, though sometimes she was paid in heroin.
The couple had dated for years, and both had promising futures ahead of them. Barbieri was a female science teacher, who tend to be in much demand in a male dominated field. Carter used to be a straight-A student, according to his grandpa, until he turned into a shithead.
But their heroin habit, which developed about six months ago, led them down the Path of Morons. They were months behind on the rent. So when the landlord came to their door on Friday looking for money, they decided to hatch one of the worst bank robberies in the history of shitty bank robberies.
But at least their dimwitted caper helped someone. When Carter dumped his jacket in the garbage during their escape, he did so in a high-traffic area. Someone apparently took the jacket out of the garbage. Police were unable to recover the money. We’re guessing a homeless guy is now $2,220 wealthier.
See our last episode from the Moron of the Day file: Estellamarie
Ruiz Steals Credit Cards, Uses Them 50 Yards Away.