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James Tate Banned From Prom Over Romantic Request for Date

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 12:54 pm
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In today's episode of The Sphincter People, we bring you the dashing young James Tate, a senior at Shelton High School in Connecticut. He wanted to ask the fetching and delightful Sonali Rodrigues to go to the prom with him. And he wanted to do it up big...

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Men, this is how you work it James Tate style
So at 1 a.m. in the morning, he got some buddies to help him tape cardboard 12-inch cardboard letters to the side of the school that read, "Sonali Rodrigues will you go to prom with me? HMU -- Tate."

You gotta hand it to the kid. It's a bold and sure-fire move. We're guessing he's going to make an attentive husband someday. And since the school has a brick exterior, the tape did no damage.

Better yet: The lovely Sonali said yes.

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The most important issue at hand: Sonali said yes
But that's when the ugly veil of sphincterism reared. Enter Beth Smith, headmaster of the school. (Cue the kind of music that always plays when the villain enters the scene.)

Lady Smith is a draconian beast whose ass is so tight she probably moonlights at a salvage yard crushing automobiles. She suspended James and his pals for trespassing. And according to school rules, anyone suspended after April 1 can't attend the prom.

Never mind that the incident contained no malice, caused no damage, and was really, really sweet. Smith was sticking by her sphincter.

Shelton's mayor was bombed with emails from around the world asking him to intercede. Two state legislators are also pushed legislation that would allow kids to work off their punishment rather than being banned from the prom.

So last Saturday, Smith seemed to finally recognize she was looking like a huge asshole. She reversed her opinion, saying her new rule allowed prom bans to be judged on a case by case basis.

Which means James and Sonali can now attend the big event. Vegas is issuing 10:1 that they'll be the cutest couple in attendance. (Special thanks to reader Duckykittn for the tip.)

See our last story from The Sphincter People file: Rakheem Bolton Case: Raped Cheerleader Ordered to Pay $45,000 Over Suit.

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