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Ashley Alford Wins $95 Million After Manager Beats Her in the Head With Penis

By Pete Kotz in Douchebags, Sex crimes
Friday, June 17, 2011 at 9:00 am
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Ashley Alford had the misfortune of taking a job at Aaron's, the rent-to-own furniture company. The manager at her St. Louis location, Richard Moore, wasn't big on the whole concept of sexual consent. Plus he was a degenerate douchebag, so he had that going for him...

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We're going on a hunch here, but most women wouldn't want Richard Moore's penis smacking them on the head, would they?
Not long after she was hired, Moore began to take delight in pawing at her boobs and making public observations about their size. Ashley says other employees joined in the action. And it would only get worse.

One day she was sitting on the stockroom floor when Moore snuck up behind her, pulled down his pants, and began beating her on the top of the head with his penis. He apparently considered this great fun and terribly erotic.

A month later, he pinned her on a breakroom sofa, pulled up her shirt, and began masturbating on her chest.

Ashley called the Aaron's sexual harassment hotline, where they're not very interested in investigating sexual harassment cases, despite the name. She says no one ever called her back.

Worse, she began to believe that she'd never get promoted because she filed the complaint. She quit six months later.

She subsequently filed suit, claiming Aaron's did nothing about Moore, who essentially behaved like a sexual predator on the job, and really needed his ass kicked.

The suit would take five years to wind its way through court, making the right to speedy trial something of a misnomer. That's when a jury decided Ashley's beef had merit -- and that Aaron's was run by a bunch of assholes.

She was awarded a whopping $95 million in damages, no doubt to punish Aaron's as much as reward her for bringing these shitbags to light.

Due to federal law, the award will likely be cut in half. And Aaron's will no doubt appeal, since they've described this the work of a "runaway jury."

But seeing as how the company had $118 million in profits last year alone, we don't think the judgment's that out of line, given the scale of their assholery and the incentive it provides in getting them to stop behaving -- literally -- like dicks.

But who cares what we think? The more pressing question: What do you think, dearest reader?

See our last story from the Great Moral Dilemmas of the Day file: Jermane Johnson Jr. Drowned By 5-Year-Old Girl Because He Wouldn't Stop Crying.

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