Thompson has the kind of face that just screams, “Oh yeah, I wanna drink off-brand bourbon and wolf heavily stepped on meth underneath a bridge with you, sister!” She was getting her hammeredness on in Burlington, North Carolina…
55-year-old Eleanor Anderson
At 3 p.m., she encountered an officer of the law, whose job it is to arrest hammered people who choose to operate motorized vehicles. Eleanor blew an impressive .32, which is akin to a 120-pound woman scarfing eight martinis in an hour.
It has been said, so it shall be written: Eleanor Thompson can out-drink the entire Clemson defensive line.
She was busted for DUI, driving without a license and trying to pass off a fictitious registration, then released to a sober friend.
At this point, most of us would have gone to bed to face the nightmare of increased insurance costs, a series of court dates, and the inevitable six consecutive days of tongue-lashing from our significant other for acting like a moron.
But Eleanor, it would seem, is Burlington’s queen of the barflies. She wanted back in the game. By 9 p.m. that same day, she was pulled over again in Mebane, North Carolina, this time blowing a .32.
She’s expected to be in either deep shit with a court or be recruited for a high-ranking position within the Kremlin.
See our last story from the Bizarre file: Charles DuBose, Moron of the Day, Shoots 11-Year-Old Girl for Playing Near His Car.