Gerard Landon’s Rape Attempt Goes Bad When Victim Bites Off His Tongue



​Gerard Michael Landon was prowling for affection and coitus on the streets of Stamford, CT when a pair of problems quickly arose. Foremost, the 46-year-old native of the Virgin Islands has the curb appeal of a cold sore outbreak. Secondly, his pick-up methodology is atrocious…

The first apple of Landon’s loins denied him access after he accosted her privates with an umbrella. His sophomore attempt failed after he uninvitingly groped a woman’s breasts. 

Hardly deterred and perhaps emboldened by his prior rejections, Landon cracked out the heavy artillery for his third try.
Unfortunately for this aspiring paramour rapist, his intended victim was more than prepared to repel his libidinal assault and even launched her own damaging counter-offensive. 
Around ten o’clock last Thursday night, a 50-year-old woman exited The Basilica of St. John the Evangelist on Atlantic Street and began to walk down an alley adjacent the holy house. Out of the shadows, Landon emerged and asked for a hug. 
Hardly beguiled by Landon’s bold yet unoriginal come-on tactics, the woman declined. At that moment Landon grabbed her, wrestled the woman to the ground and the two fell into a grassy area.   
Landon wasted no time going for broke. He thrust his tongue into the woman’s mouth; she repelled the sloppy love by biting a large chunk of his tongue off.
Inside the church, Msgr. Stephen M. Di Gionanni heard the woman screaming for help and promptly called police.
Meanwhile, Landon was gripped by serious discomfort and a flesh wound bleeding like a slaughtered pig. Seconds after his tongue fell to the dirt, the wanna-be rapist was grabbing at his mouth. He then jumped to his feet and skedaddled.
Officers soon on the scene of the attack retrieved the one-inch long piece of Landon’s tongue and notified area hospitals to be on the lookout for a man who might be seeking missing-tongue related medical attention.
For the remainder of the night and well into the next day, Landon wandered about the city’s streets tongue-deficient and impaired in his ability to taste much of anything but raw, wounded flesh.
Finally, on Friday, Landon showed up at a massage and chiropractic clinic. “He walked in and asked if we could help with his tongue and he stuck his tongue out and it was really gross,” a receptionist at the clinic told news outlets.
Having already been given the heads-up to be on alert for a rapist missing most of his tongue, clinic staff phoned police.
After a brief attempt of trying to bolt the facility, Landon was in police custody.
Landon was taken to Stamford Hospital where he was treated for his tongue wound as well as other injuries he accumulated when he tried to flee police. 
No word on whether his his tongue was re-attached.
He was released to police and charged with criminal attempt at first-degree sexual assault, first-degree unlawful restraint and second-degree strangulation.
He’s being held on $500,000 bond and is scheduled to appear in court later today.
Police Capt. Richard Conklin says additional charges could also be levied against Landon in connection with the other women he had earlier accosted.