Like most of us from the lesser gender, Jan Rudnicki is sorely lacking skills when it comes to wooing women. Though he already has seven kids, the 40-year-old from Jarnoltowka, Poland is still on the prowl. And he had his eyes set on damsel Gosia Domoslawska…
He’d ridden his horse to the bar to wolf delicious spirits with his buddies when he suddenly hatched a plan win Gosia’s heart with his gallantry and daring. Of course, the best ideas are always hatched in bars. Always. So Jan stripped off his shirt, jumped on his horse, and galloped to her home.
It should be known that a bare-chested man on horseback is a lock to carry the day if you live in a 1934 black-and-white cowboy movie or Poland.
It should also be known that Poland doesn’t have very strong doors or smart horses.
When Jan arrived at his sweetheart’s house, he simply rode through Gosia’s door and into her home, where he assumed her heart would be aflutter over a large beast and lots of wrecked shit.
But here’s the weird part: Gosia wasn’t impressed. In fact, you could say she was livid that a half-naked man was riding a horse around her house.
“He’s a loon,” she told the Croatian Times, which is like the New York Times of wherever they keep Croatia at. “I never fancied him before and I
certainly don’t now. If this was supposed to win my heart he must be
seriously off his rocker.”
Sadly, women aren’t very romantic.
When Jan sobered up, he offered to fix the door, but police charged him with breaking and entering anyway. He’s looking at five-years in the slam if convicted. But at least the pool of eligibles in his new home won’t play so hard to get.
See our last story from the Stupid Criminals file: Joseph Franer Attacks Neighbor With a Bulldozer Over Stolen Scrap Metal.