Man Celebrates 21st Birthday By Having Sex & Driving Drunk at 85 mph



​Last year, a Virginia man just turned 21, so he decided to celebrate the fact that he no longer had to look over his shoulder by getting hammered. He was out partying with one of his buddies and his girlfriend. And that’s when it got very weird…

At some point the evening, the trio were traveling along the D.C. Beltway going 85 miles-per-hour. While hammered. And while our hero was driving while simultaneously having sex with his girlfriend.

As you may have guessed, this story does not end in glorious orgasmic delight. It seems that before that they could consummate their celebratory passion, the guy rammed into a cab. He was subsequently convicted for drunk driving.

Now the cab driver is suing the kid for wanton negligence.

Even though he’s already been convicted, the kid is busting out a novel defense. He claims he was in the backseat having sex with his girlfriend when the accident happened. But his buddy says he wasn’t driving either.

We hope his girlfriend wasn’t driving, because that would have required gymnastic feats never witnessed by mortal man. 

We’re guessing this won’t turn out so well for the kid in court. His only hope for victory is if his mother doesn’t find out.

See our last saga from the Gooberville file: Ronald Stolberg Kills Wife for Disturbing His Sleep, Then Goes Back to Bed.