Monique Lawless, Occupation: Woman: Jumps on Car to Stop Walmart Beer Thieves



​Monique Lawless is a 42-year-old engineering safety specialist for Boing. She’s also 5-feet-tall, 120 pounds, and tougher than a $2 steak. She was shopping at a Walmart in Alvin, Texas Sunday morning when she noticed two men stealing some cases of beer…

She told the cashier, who yelled to the greeter. But as we’ve learned from past stories, Walmart’s loss prevention officers aren’t very good at preventing losses. The men broke away and headed to a waiting sports car.

Monique leaped into action. She told the cashier to watch her purse, then she ran from the store, jumped on the hood of the car, and began kicking the windshield. “You punks, you are not going to get away with this,” she screamed.

Note to single men: If you’re looking for a good woman, head to Alvin, Texas. It appears they have a handsome selection of feisty ones down there.

Anyways, she wasn’t big enough to scare the creeps into surrender. They simply laughed at her and drove away, leaving Monique to tumble off the hood.

But she hung onto a door handle as they dragged her across the parking lot till she finally let go.

Still, police were able to nab the three brothers, whose parents were really into the name Sylvester. Busted were Sylvester Andre
Thompson, 21, Sylvester Durlentren Thompson, 21, and Sylvester Primitivo
Thompson, 19. They were charged with robbery and evading arrest.

Monique may not have stopped them herself, but we’re going by hockey rules today, which dictate that it doesn’t matter if you win the fight. What matters is that you had the balls to show up.

It has been said, so it must be written. Monique Lawless, Occupation: Woman.

See our last adventure from the Occupation: Man file: Monju Begum Cuts Off Her Rapist’s Penis.