Rock Star v. Playboy Model: Who Won?
Brandon Smelser, Moron of the Day: Stabs Friend for Coming to Party With Natural Light
Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 7:00 am
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No doubt it was the kind of bash where invites were cherished and boasted of by the finest people within Valley Falls' social elite. But Christopher Daniel, 22, failed to show the proper respect for a fete of this magnitude.
It seems he showed up to the party carrying Natural Light. Worse, he probably only bought a sixer, as if he was visiting performance artists or something.
As anyone with an ounce of class knows, this not only says that you're a cheap bastard, but that you have so little respect for your host that you'll show up with the shittiest beer money can buy.
Of course Smelser, a cunning theorist on all matters etiquette, quickly deduced the slight. The two men began to fight in a parking lot. Then Smelser raised the stakes by stabbing Daniel.
It's apparently illegal to stab someone in Kansas, even if they do show up with Natural Light. Daniel was taken to a hospital, where his condition is said to be life-threatening.
Smelser is now in the slam for attempted murder. He's expected to invoke the Natural Light defense, contending the stabbing was justified.
See our last story from the White Trash Theatre file: Sex Offender Donald Coleman Granted Custody of 3-Year-Old Miranda Wilkerson.
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