Jason Banks is a songwriter from Ambridge, Pennsylvania. But he’s apparently not the sensitive type who has a thoughtful beard and feels genetically compelled to wear a snow hat in the middle of the summer, like Badly Drawn Boy. He’s more into darkness and brooding…
Still, he has written a number of songs about the women in his life. And that got his sweetheart Patricia Mixter wondering why he hadn’t written a song about her.
We’re guessing the problem was that Banks just didn’t have enough angst in him to pen a proper tune of suffering and heartbreak. So when Patricia complained about her absence in song, he decided to psych himself up by choking her and hitting her in the face.
Instead of a touching lullaby, the move produced a visit from police, who were able to detect red marks around Patricia’s neck and swelling around her eye.
Banks was charged with assault and a criminal lack of deepness. (Special thanks to Lavender for the tip.)
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