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Julie Bass Faces Jail in Oak Park, Michigan for Planting Vegetable Garden

By Pete Kotz in Douchebags, Politicians
Monday, July 11, 2011 at 10:02 am
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In today's episode of The Sphincter People, we take you to Oak Park, Michigan, where City Planner Kevin Rulkowski's ass is so tight he rents it out on weekends as a fan belt. Resident Julie Bass decided she needed a cheaper way to provide food for her kids...


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As you can see, Julie Bass' home in Oak Park, Michigan isn't exactly an eyesore. But it is healthy and nutritious.
Michigan, as you probably know, has been the state worst hit by the depression. Only four people still have jobs. So Julie decided to cut down on her food bill by growing her own vegetables.

One would think city officials in Oak Park would applaud her initiative and self-sustaining choice. The garden's a tidy affair, and neighbor kids often stop by to help. In other words, the whole deal is the height of wholesomeness and virtue.

The problem is that Julie built her garden in the front yard instead of the back. And that made City Planner Kevin Rulkowski blow his sphincter. The city code says a front yard must have "suitable, live, plant material." Surely this would include a bean patch.

But Rulkowski favors grass sprayed with lots of chemicals as the preferred form of suitable, live plant material. So he went on the attack.

The city first gave Julie a warning. Then a ticket. Then they charged her with a misdemeanor. But she refuses to back down. In her mind, if you're the most broke-ass state in the union, you should be encouraging people to grow their own vegetables, not wasting police time arresting them.

Now the matter is actually headed to trial. If convicted, she's looking at 93 days in the slam.

We could understand if this was some gated community where everyone agrees to behave like an asshole before they move in. But this is a modest neighborhood in the Midwest, where tradition says our only move is to salute of mother going the extra mile to put food on the table of her children. Those are real family values.

What do you think, dearest reader? (Special thanks to reader DeniMull for the tip.)

See our last episode from The Sphincter People file:
Joan Parker Nailed for Assault After Kissing Homophobe Preacher at Gay Pride Rally.


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