We’ve never understood why people want to live in subdivisions where covenants restrict everything from the colors of paint to whether you can have a basketball hoop in the driveway. But Timothy and Jodi Burr agreed to those when the moved into the Gardens of Southgate…
It all seems pretty tasteful to us, but we have yet to achieve that level of sphincterism that causes us to freak over devotional signs to people’s sons
The neighborhood, located in Bossier City, Louisiana, is apparently home to sphincters so tight that geologists say they may cause earthquakes. And that tight-assedness extends so far it even puckers over supporting troops in Afghanistan.
The Burrs’ son, Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Corey Burr, is doing a 14-month tour in Afghanistan. So mom and dad naturally thought it would be a good idea to place a patriotic sign out front of their home in tribute to the lad.
But it seems others in the neighborhood suck at both patriotism and sympathy for anxious military parents. They complained to the homeowners association, which asked the Burrs to take the banner down.
The Burrs offered to make it smaller, but they weren’t taking it down. Because that would be weird.
So the homeowners association kept up the requests, before finally deciding to sue the Burrs for excess familial devotion.
Lawyer Geoffrey Westmoreland, the lawyer who filed suit, refused to comment on the matter, since he could only look like an asshole.
But the Burrs counter that the Gardens of Southgate has never upheld its sign ban, since it’s always allowed signs supporting schools and teams. They say they’ll fight to the finish, just like their kid would.
See our last story from The Sphincter People file: Lydia Coenen, 9, Has Her Lemonade Stand Banned in Appleton, Wisconsin.