We take you now to Houston, dearest reader, a land where depravity knows no boundaries. 55-year-old Debra Flowers Haggerty is what we in the professional new business refer to as your gnarly-assed skank. Unfortunately, she can no longer attract gentleman suitors her own age…
But Debra wasn’t ready to resign herself to the fact that her flower would no longer bloom. So she was over at her sister’s house the other day when her gaze fell upon a 12-year-old boy. The lad inflamed her womanly desire to such passion that she just had to give him a blow job.
Police say she unzipped his pants and fellated him to volcanic arousal. We’re not sure if the two are related, but Debra forgot that 12-year-old boys aren’t inclined to keep these kinds of things a secret.
When police came calling, they discovered that Debra is also HIV-positive. So they charged with sexual assault with a deadly weapon — the weapon being her saliva.
See our last story from the Sex Crimes file: Martin Jonassen Busted for Chasing His Bound, Naked Daughter into Liquor Store.