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Josephine Smith, "Vampire," Bites Off Face of Elderly Man in a Wheelchair
Friday, September 9, 2011 at 8:58 am
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Lady Smith was at a strip mall, where she befriended 69-year-old Milton Ellis, who's disabled and makes his way around in a motorized wheelchair. Smith, who's from Pensacola, was waiting for a relative to pick her up. Being a gracious old dude, Milton chose to wait with her.
They were sitting at an abandoned Hooters near the mall. It seems that at this location, the T&A wasn't sufficient to overcome the overpriced wings.
Anyway, Milton fell asleep during the wait, as 69-year-old men occasionally do. During his slumber, Smith decided to reenact all the vampire shows she's seen on TV. Milton woke up to find Smith on top of him, telling him, "I'm a vampire, I am going to eat you."
Then she started biting him, ripping off pieces of his lips and face.
But Smith apparently sucks at vampirism. Despite being in a wheelchair, Milton was still able to escape to a nearby gas station. When the cops arrived, they found Smith half naked and covered in blood at the Hooters. She claims she doesn't remember what happened.
Milton was taken to the hospital for stitches. Smith was taken to the slam, charged with aggravated battery on an elderly person and sucking at reenacting scenes from Twilight.
See our last story from the Books-TV-Film file: Brett Cummins, TV Weatherman, Wakes Up Next to Naked Dead Man Wearing Dog Collar.
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47 comments
Next shitstain who claims to be a vampire should just be shot on site. No questions asked, no song and dance...Just one .40 straight through the brain.
She has to be a confused crackhead. She's not a vampire, she's a frickin' cannibal...a confused crackhead cannibal...
Well Hooters would be the right place to wake up half naked though.And it was abandoned just like her brains along time ago.
I was in the liquor store the other day cruising through the wine selections to re-stock and in the knockdown bin was a bottle of Vampire vineyards Pinot Grigio. My girlfriend is a big Trueblood fan, which I just don’t get, but I though this is cute and I got it.Well, like most modern vampire things it sucked, no pun intended, it was horrible.
She would make a better Frankenstein. Or whatever monster that makes 22 yr old chicks look like a bloated foot.
Umm, I don't even know what to do with this. I am a True Blood fanatic but I would never bite somebody's flesh off. Thats gross. And if she thought she was a vampire how did she go out in the daylight? She couldn't be a Twilight vamp cuz her skin isn't like diamonds. What a nut job.
OMG! I cried I laughed so hard at Pete's comment SHUT THE FUCK UP, VAMPIRES. I love it.
Poor old man, but somehow there is more to his story...I'm just saying. He waited with her for a reason.......
was kinda thinking that myself, iv never known many old people to wait with 22 year old women for no apparent reason. This guy wanted something sucked but it wasnt his face
Pete, your lead there is among the best. You could convince some of these morons, they were the lost Elf Prince of Zeenabia with a couple of TV shows and a few novels.
The desire to be something more than we actually are is so desperate in some. This chick looks like someone that's skipped seeing her doctor for the last couple of sessions.
Well, I'm off to fly my winged unicorn into battle against the Osnackadooldians, wish me luck.
if that is true then you need to read some of your posts. also, it does bother you, otherwise, why would you bother with me? sucks to be you.
NO get it right I pick on racist,sexist and Egotistical Ignorant asshole just like you...And with that I'm done with your stupid ass so say what you want I could really care less. Your Opinion means shit to me .
i am just being like you. all you do is pick on others than you have the never to do the same things that you make snide comments about. i read the other threads, didn't seem like you are very mature yourself. people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Jesus H! She looks more like a meth addict then a vampire...That would explain the fear of sunlight and the itchy scrathies that she has...poor old guy trying to be nice..And we wonder why chivalry is dead. Those godamned vampires.
Geez. Even in that pic she's going for that sultry the-daylight-is-hurting-my-eyes look. Too bad she got confused between being a vampire and being a cannibal.
Poor Milton. What a way to wake up. On the one hand, half naked young girl bouncing up and down on him, on the other hand - ouch!
AHHHH Hello????? That's a Fucking Zombie Not a vampire ....Research your shit.............Damn some people I swear (SI)
Must be all the boozed up Tampons affecting their brains ......Ya know? Because everyone that does shit like this that's usually were their brains are.
